


Laf(alling)ayette the fighting Frenchman

by HammCheddr



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bare with my writing skills, But it get happy!, But that's only in the beginnins, Dakr, Death, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Idk where this is goong, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non COn, Lafayette is just confused, M/M, Most tags will change, Multi, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, Sad, Sorry again, Stockholm Syndrome, YES this is dark, happy!, rape/non con, sorry - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:36:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 41,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8447962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HammCheddr/pseuds/HammCheddr
Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Lafayette was supposed to love George, not fear him.But after a near death experience, Laf escapes Gerorge's hands and runs to the nearest coffee shop, desperate for food or anything. AFter years of abuse, he's finally free.Or is he?NOW COMPLETED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1(completed on 4-23-17)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SHould rly be working on Ill (try to) Save you, BUT OH WELL!!! heh, so sorry, but major trigger warning for this chapter Its rly dark.
> 
> SOrry this is so sad, should probably start making happy fan fictions.
> 
>  
> 
> Updates around once a week !!

Lafayette sat quietly on the couch, contemplating a rather important decision. He tugged subconsciously at the blue button-down he wore, almost ripping off a button in the process. He had already made his lip bleed, why ruin anything else?

Which then brought him to the thought that all his life, he'd been treated like royalty. Or, at least, that's what people thought. Others acted like he was, how you say, ‘Too pretty to hurt’, or, ‘handsome but weak.’ Lord knows what he has gone through.

No one truly understands. What exactly? He wasn't sure, because there were so many things wrong with him. SO many people he has hurt. So many people that have hurt him.

And yet,

He was the one who hurt himself the most.

SIghing, he stood up, and shuffled into the kitchen. His black jeans felt uncomfortable in the cold air, which reminded him, merde, he needed to ask someone to fix the heater.

Opening the fridge, he visually drooped at the sight of it.

Empty. It was always empty.

His stomach growled in response. Pain rushed through him.

When would George be home? Laf hadn't gone outside for.. a long time. George took his phone away awhile ago because he ‘didn't focus enough on him’. Which, to Lafayette, was absurd.

George King was a simple man. Well, that was only a facade. Deep down, he was full of hate and frustration, which he willingly took out on others. Especially his current boyfriend, Lafayette.

He loved Lafayette, he always told himself that. And Lafayette loved him back, he was sure of it.

But Laf himself was not.

Lafayette shivered in the cold, the scratchy thin blankets not helping one bit. His once soft curly hair had become rough and stiff. Dark bags under his eyes formed from lack of sleep, and the old blue button down and jeans he always wore didn't smell the greatest ever since..

Ever since..

Ever since George had taken his stuff. All of his clothes. Gone. George had told him, ‘you won't need clothes because they'll be off as soon as I get home’, and Lafayette’s stomach ached and churned at that thought because… in all honesty, he did not enjoy sex. It felt rushed. George was rough, ignoring Laf’s pleas to slow down. If Laf wasn't in the mood, he'd be on his hands and knees while George sat comfortably in a chair, urging Laf to ‘take more’ or, ‘suck harder’.

But other than that, things were okay.

Or, maybe a little less than okay.

George got mad quite often. Lafayette would try to calm him down, but that only made George worse, adding more and more bruises to poor Laf’s body,

Too pretty to hurt my ass, Laf would tell himself.

It was especially bad when George became drunk. He'd stumble inside their apartment, dizzy and angry. Without any warning, he'd start hitting Lafayette, slapping him, pinching him, anyway he could harm him. By the time the night was over, Laf was a trembling, crying mess, curled up In a corner on the floor.

Lafayette forgave George. At least, he told himself that.

Lafayette was now broke, George had made him pay all the bills throughout the year. Another reason why was because George had basically locked Lafayette into his own apartment. Lack of job and social life affected him mentally. He hadn't seen daylight in ages.

You could see his ribs, bones, everything. His once muscular body, was now lanky and gaunt. He trembled constantly, lack of body fat made him cold. His once vibrant brown eyes had turned lifeless and dull. His flushed-pink cheeks were now a pale tone of his skin. It was like everyday, he lost a part of himself.

The sound of a door unlocking from the outside pulled him from his trance, and he looked up in time to see George stepping inside and re-locking the door.

George stumbled, woozy and drunk.

Oh no. Lafayette stood up, and wobbled over to his ~~master~~ boyfriend. His once graceful stroll, turned shaky and stiff.

“B-Baabe… what the fuck?” George slurred, grasping his sides and dramatically shivering “why didn't you pay for the hae-heaaat?” Lafayette shrugged, well aware of the punishment he'd get for ‘back talking’. A sudden hand grasping his collar pulled him from silence, as a raspy Yelp escaped his clenched teeth.

“Answer me when I talk to you.” *slap.* “You little whore.” *punch to the gut* “Stop fucking crying, bitch. *another hit, which made Laf fall onto his side* “Shut up, stop complaining, you know you enjoy it.” Lafayette tried to tell himself it was consent. He liked this. He liked ~~getting raped~~ making love.

Deep down he knew he didn't. He hadn't wanted to admit it. But he hated it. All of it.

 

Lafayette bolted down the street, tears escaping his eyes. His hand clutched the wound that gushed blood on his torso. It stung awfully, and made his head throb. He needed assistance, but he had no idea where to go. He stripped himself of the thin sweat-shirt he had on, still in mid sprint, and wrapped the wound, to avoid getting odd glances, and random strangers stopping him to confer what the hell was happening. Oh. right. How had he got in this mess?

**_FlashBack to like an hour ago, maybe?_ **

“Now, you need to listen to me. You will. Not. Take. Food. FROM ANYONE. Except me, UNDERSTAND?!” George yelled in his ear. He had been blindfolded. According to George, it made punishments ‘more fun’ when he couldn't tell what was happening. Lafayette shivered in fear.

He had gotten caught getting food from a kind woman named Angelica Schuyler, she was the only person who knew of his situation. He put all o hi problems on her. This whole situation was his fault. But he couldn't help it. He hadn't eaten anything in so long, Angelica could probably tell. She brought him an apple pie, trying to cheer Laf up, and he should have declined it.

But it looked so good.

He could remember George taking the pie and throwing to the ground, yelling at Lafayette to ‘be a good dog’ and eat if off the floor. Laf would rather not explain what happened after that.

Anyway, back to the blindfold.

George took a, seemingly long, knife and traced the dull end along his cheek.

“Don't worry, I won't punish you on your face.” He brought the knife lower. Just under Laf’s belly button, and-

You can probably guess what happened after that. As soon as George left to go to the bar, Lafayette knew he had to get out of there. He wasn't safe here. No matter how many times George told him he loved Laf, he couldn't believe him. He couldn't keep going like this.

He managed to unlock the door, with shocking ease, using the only Bobby pin he had left. He kicked it open, and bolted out. His first instinct was to run to Angelica’s, but immediately pushed that thought away. He'd only burden her.

_**FLashback end** _

Now, here he was. The crisp Autumn air whistled in his ears, as he clumsily ran away from his home prison, tears staining his cheeks, hands covered in slightly wet blood. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed out. Just, to get away. Far away. From.. Him.

Looking around, he saw some sort of coffee shop.

Shelter.

Warmth.

Food.

He began tearing up again, and he ran over, across the street, and burst inside. Tears flowed down his face for whatever reason, relief washed over him.

“Sir?” a man with curly hair and freckles asked. But Lafayette didn't care. He was away. Free. From that hellish man, that he used to love.

No. He never loved him.

That was his final thought, before he collapsed, worn out from either blood loss, sprinting, using the last of his energy or euphoria, possibly a combination of the three.

The last things he heard were the desperate cries of that freckled man above him, shouting something, before he closed his eyes.


	2. Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf meets most of the charecters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI IM BACK. Took awhile, gotta get back into the swing of things. SOrry for the wait! Enjoy!!!!

Something soft and cushiony helped ease his aching back. Funny, Lafayette couldn’t remember the last he slept on something this close to a mattress, or for that matter, anything comfortable. He tried shifting slightly, but was met with aching pain. He decided to try and figure out where he was without moving. He gripped the soft cushions, and came to the conclusion he was on a couch.

 

Coffee. He also smelled coffee. It was hard to make out at first, since it had been awhile since ever drank cof-

 

Wait.

 

George doesn’t drink coffee.

 

Laf bolted upright, groaning and clutching his head at the stinging headache he had, mumbling in french, ‘ que Dieu aide moi’ . After a few moments, it settled slightly. Looking around blearily, he saw he was inside an unfamilliar house. There was drawings and paintings sloppily taped on the walls, a few were in frames. Lafayette strived to place what the hell happened after he..

 

Holy shit. He had passed out. He had escaped! A smile stretched across his face, thinking about how much better life will be without that horrid George in his life. Looking around once more, he began remembering the past events. George had cut him, Laf ran from their home, he ended up in some kind of Starbucks or something.

 

There was a freckled man as well-

 

“Oh, you’re awake!” Speaking of which. “Uh, this may seem odd, but I wasn’t sure where else to put you. Thats a, uh, gnarly cut you got there.” Looking down, Laf realized someone had wrapped his torso in gauze. No wonder he wasn’t in as much pain as before.

 

“Thank you.” was all Laf could get out. He internally cringed at his voice, it sounded so raspy and unlike him. Before all of this mess, he was never this quiet.

 

“I’m John Laurens, but ah, you can just call me John.” The strange freckled man entitled John reached his hand out for Laf to shake it, which he did. Laf noticed the difference between their hands, his thin like twigs, John’s strong and sturdy, with patches of freckles trailing from his arm. 

 

“Je m’appelle Lafayette.” John simply stared at him, biting his lip. “S-sorry.. My name is  Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de La Fayette, Marquis de Lafayette, but just call me Lafayette.” John smiled and nodded. Lafayette found that he enjoyed John’s smile. It was nice. 

 

“You hungry? I mean, you seem kinda.. Skinny. I didn’t mean to sound rude, but you look hungry and-” Lafayette couldn’t comprehend what else John said because, merde, he was giving him food. Glancing up, John was still rambling about sausage or something, so Laf took the chance to stand up, shaky at first. Probably from the blood loss he recently just experienced.

 

“Merci, mon amie.” Lafayette said, stumbling slightly. John chuckled and led him to the kitchen.

 

Staring at his bacon, Laf quickly ate, fearing this may be one of the only decent meals he’d ever get. Surely this stranger wouldn’t allow him to stay long. He savoured every bite, almost moaning in pleasure because of how long it has been since he ate anything decent.

 

“Listen, I know we haven’t known each other long but, do you have a place to stay?” John was playing with the collar of his shirt awkwardly. “I don’t know, but you just seemed kind of lost.” Lafayette shook his head, realizing that he was indeed, lost. He wasn’t sure where to go. He didn’t have money, a job, food, shelter anything. His blood had gone cold, and his stomache was doing summer saults inside of him. He really had not thought this through.

 

“Hey! Lighten up, it’ll be okay! You can stay here with us for the time being.” Lafayette eyed him supsiciously, because surely this ‘John’ wanted something from him.

 

“I’m broke.” He simply stated. John shrugged and said,

 

“Well, thats alright. We’ll help you find a job.” 

 

“We?” 

 

“Oh! Right, my friend lives here with me too. His name’s Alex. NIce guy, although he’s really short. Even compared to me.” John chuckled, leaving Lafayette smiling like an idiot. His cheeks ached from smiling because, in all honesty, he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled genuinley. “Yo, you gotta meet Herc, too! He’s pretty quiet at first. But he’s crazy if he gets his hands on sugar, so maybe you guys’ll get along?” Laf nodded and finished his.. Breakfast? He wasn’t too sure what time it was.

  
  


The two made their way to back to John’s work, the coffee shop Laf had passed out in. John hadn’t pressed exactly why he was bleeding, which Lafayette liked. He would rather not explain why he ran from his psyco ex-boyfriend. 

 

“So.. uh, Lafayette, can I ask you something.” Merde, here it comes. “Do you like Pineapples on pizza, or not?” … Quoi? 

 

“Quoi?” Laf asked.

  
John stood in thought, probably thinking about what exactly Laf said, when he brightened up suddenly, possibly realizing the answer.

 

“Oh, uh, do you or don’t you like pineapple on pizza?” Laf walked quietly in thought,

 

“Non. I do not.”

 

John smiled at that, “Perfect.”

 

“Herc, my man!” John ran up to a tall burly man, with dark skin and broad shoulders. He laughed when John patted him on th back, the two talking about nonsense. Laf blushed because, dang, he was kind of cute.

 

“Oh, this is Lafayette! He’s a friend of mine.” Laf was internally thankful that John had left out the, ‘He’s the guy that passed out with an inch-deep wound in his stomache, then came home with me.’ part.

 

“Sup.” the man, Herc, extended an arm. Lafayette shook his hand, almost gasping at the contrast between their hands. His were strong and meaty, while Laf’s were thin and could possbily snap. “The name’s Hercules Mulligan, but my friends call me Herc.” Laf nodded and offered a (fake) smile. He just couldn’t seem to stop comparing himself with others. 

 

“I-I’m Lafayette..” He said quietly. His throat hurt still, and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. He followed the two as they rambled about pizza or something, while Laf trailed awkwardly behind. He breathed deeply, relishing the feeling of fresh air. Freedom. Memories of how much he had missed the sunlight when he was trapped in his own apartment went through his brain. The lonely nights of just him and his thoughts made him shiver and made his stomach ache. He almost vomitted, and felt tears prick in the corner of his eyes.

 

“-af? LAF?!” John stood in front of him, shaking his shoulders, while on his tippy toes since he couldn’t reach very well.

 

“Huh?” Laf looked into the shorter man’s eyes, and he was suddenly entranced. Beautiful amber orbs speckled with hints of hazel and dark brown, his freckles only made the sight more mesmerising. 

 

“You okay there, bud?” Hercules asked. Lafayette simply stared awkwardly at him and nodded, forcing a smile.

 

“Oui, I am fine.” John nodded, and grabbed him gently by the arm, leading him to lord knows where. “Where are we going?” Laf asked.

 

“We’re meeting my friend, Alex. The one I told you about at my house? Said he wants to meet you!” Laf nodded, and continued to ponder on what the heck he’s going to say to this mystery man, because he sure as hell wasn’t good with words. In fact, he wasn’t sure he could speak much longer without coughing.

  
  


They arrived at the coffee shop around ten minutes later, Herc excitedly explaining what Pokemon Go was, while John had his fair share of eyerolls.

 

“Herc, just give up trying to find a Snorlax, you know how people get when they see people playing that game while walking through the city.” John remarked, “ESPECIALLY Jefferson.” Now it was Herc’s turn to roll his eyes.

 

“Oh puh-lease. Jefferson is just a rich snob that only wears the same fucking shade of purple everyday. He sure as hell won’t change my mind about playing this game.” Sighing, John made his way inside the coffee shop.

 

“JOHN LAURENS.” A teenager in a yellow crop top and high-wasted jeans stomped up to the trio. “YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION WHY YOU LEFT ME HERE AL-fhjiconphmrhdsm!” They were shushed when John put his hand over their mouth, silently apologizing to the patrons giving them odd looks.

 

“Peggy! Shuush! People are working!” Peggy rolled their eyes, then caught sight on Lafayette and immedietly smiled, and bounded over to him.

 

“The names Peggy! Just so you know, my pronouns are they/them” They smiled impossibly brighter and held a hand out for Laf. He once again took it.

 

So this person was gender neutral? And… everyone was so accepting. Lafayette smiled (VERY FAKE) and shook their hand.

 

“My name is Lafayette.” Peggy nodded and directed John behind the register, while Herc took Lafayette’s hand (SQUEE) and led them to a table where a man with headphones and three cups of coffee sat, typing madly.

 

“Alex.” No response. “Alex?” No response. “ALEX??” … still no response. Sighing Herc grabbed the man’s headphones and ripped them off. Death of a Bachlor by Panic! At the Disco suddenly bursted from his headphones. “YO! Alex, you with me?” Alex looked up, and blushed.

 

“S-Sorry! I was working on my science paper.” He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, and finally noticed Lafayette. “O-oh! You’re the guy that ran in here then fainted, right?” Laf blushed and nodded.

 

“Y-yes, my name is Lafayette.” Laf smiled sheepishly.

 

“Cool, the names Alex. I was going to follow you and John, but decided he could handle things himself. He’s always bragging about he’s a,” Alex held up air quotes, “Strong independant man.” Herc chuckled and ruffled Alex’s mop of hair. Alex grumbled to himself about how long it takes to get his hair managable.

 

Hercules pulled up a chair for the two of them, and sat down, Laf in tow. Peggy walked over and placed two cups of hot coffee in front of them, stating it was on the house.

 

“So, Lafayette. Where you from?” Herc asked, Alex forgetting about the headphones and continuing typing.

 

“O-oh, well, I’m obviously French..” Laf chuckled nervously, not wanting them to know about George. Hercules nodded and offered a shy smile.

 

“Well, yea, but like, how’d you get cut?” So John had told him. He blushed nervously and pulled at the strings of him sweatshirt, beginning to sweat. 

 

“W-well, I, uh,”

 

“ALEXANDER HAMILTON?!” Alex jumped slightly at the outburst, Lafayette flinched and Hercules just rolled his eyes.

 

“Here we go again…” He muttered.

 

A tall man with curly hair stomped inside the coffee shop, looking around furiously. He sported a purple cardigan with eggplant colored jeans and brown ankle boots. A shorter man with  dark skin and a runny nose followed him, desperatly trying to calm him down.

 

“T-Thomas, please *Cough* calm dow-”

 

“Not now, Jemmy. ALEXANDER!!” He stomped over to their small table, practically fuming, sticking a pointed finger at him accusingly. “How DARE you embarass me in front of my father!” He bellowed. Laf gulped, and scooted his chair away.

 

“Jefferson, it was an in school debate. It didn’t even matter.” Alex grumbled.

 

“Well, it sure as hell mattered to my father!” He slammed his hands on the table, and grit his teeth. This ‘Jefferson’ fellow seemed serious. “AND to me!”

 

“Well, maybe if you’d stop insulting me and finally focus on the topic-”

 

“HEY! You two, outside, NOW.” A voice yelled. Turning, Lafayette paled at who it belonged to. There stood Angelica, an apron with coffee stains and her leggings caked with flour. She gripped Thomas’ arm and motioned Alex to follow. Huffing, he stood up and trailed outside.

 

“Damn, Angelica sure as hell knows how to silence a crowd.” Herc chuckled. He turned to face Lafayette, and his smile suddenly dropped. “Laf? You okay there buddy?” He placed a hand on his shoulder, but Laf jerked away.

 

“D-don’t touch me!” He cried. Hercules looked hurt, and John peeked out from the back. 

 

“Lafayette? You alright?” Laf suddenly bolted from his chair and ran outside to where Thomas and Alex were shaking hands, both looking disgusted. Angelica looked pleased with herself. Turning, she stopped in her tracks as her frown fell when she lay eyes on Lafayette. He teared up and ran to her, embracing.

 

“L-Laf? What’re..? How did you-?” She nuzzled into his shoulder. 

  
“A-angie.. I missed you…”


	3. Tacos.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf meets ppl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back. yay
> 
> ENJOY :::::333333

Jefferson was confused.

 

But, ever since he had met Alexander, he always seemed to be.

 

He and Alex shared a look when a stranger with the same height as he and curly hair suddenly began crying and was hugging Angelica. 

 

And stranger yet,

 

She was hugging him back.

 

Thomas never saw Angelica share any sort of affection to anyone besides her sisters. Let alone cry. The cool and collected facade that she always wore had faded, and was replaced with an innocent girl embracing an old friend. Speaking of which,

 

“Who the hell are you?” Thomas pointed rudely to the man, which earned him a rather aggressive nudge from Alex. He glanced down at the shorter man questionably, shrugging his shoulders in a ‘what?’ motion. Alex shook his head, and grabbed Thomas’ sleeve, pulling him away from the two.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you? Is it impossible for you to have a little sensitivity for once?” Alex accused, jabbing a finger at his megenta button down top.

 

“Hamilton, I don’t give ‘sensitivity’,” he used air quotes, “With any of YOUR friends.” he sneered. Alex rolled his eyes in return, whispering a harsh,

 

“Just. Keep. Quiet.”

  
  
  
  


“How did you escape? Did he hurt you? Why are you here? How come you didn’t come to my apartment first?” Angelica bombarded Lafayette with questions, making him dizzy. 

 

“Mon ami, you are making me dizzy with these questions..” Angelica gave an apologetic glance towards the man, before taking a deep breath.

 

“S-sorry, I’m just… happy! And, a little confused. How come you didn’t come to me first?” Lafayette rubbed his arm sheepishly, the slight stretch creating a small spark of pain throughout his torso.

 

“George would know if I went there. Y-you’re my only friend.” Laf said, “He would hurt you if he saw me with you..” Angelica took a deep breath and nodded, understanding. 

 

“Alright, well, when was the last time you ate? You didn’t get to eat that pie I made, did you?” Lafayette shook his head, but told her about John giving him food.

  
  
  


“-and then I said, no matter how many times you knock me down, I’ll get the fuck back up again!” Hercules shouted from the table in the shop, earning him multiple annoyed looks, and a couple shushes.

 

“Hercules, language.” Angelica scolded, Alex snorted with laughter.

 

“I’ll start talking better when you stop calling me Hercules! I already told you,  _ Herc. _ ” Angelica rolled her eyes, and huffed deeply, making her way back behind the counter. 

 

“Whatever…”

 

Lafayette sat between Alex and Herc, John was almost done his shift, so the group decided that waiting it out was the best option. Alex never mentioned his crying fit with Angelica, so he’d have to thank him for that later. In the meantime, he decided to ignore the dark thoughts threatening his mind and enjoy the coffee Angelica had made for him. 

 

He never thought he’d feel happy leaving George before all of this. He was always afraid, nervous of what would happen without him. And..

 

If George caught him?

 

He knew George would look for him, and sooner or later he would get caught, possibly killed when that day came. He gripped his sides at the thought, ignoring the pain, at how dissapointed everyone would be when they’d be when they found out exactly what his life was like before this. Before he felt happiness. Before..

 

Before everything. Before Angelica. Before John. Before Alex. Before..

 

...Before Hercules. 

 

Lafayette knew he had it bad. Very bad. He hadn’t know the guy for a day and he already had fallen in love. It was sick. He really was a slut. He deserved everything George had done to him. He deserved to choke, to be treated like a dog, to get stabbed, to get his hair pulled. He was used to being called horrible things, and that only made him queasier. 

 

“Laf? You okay?” Lafayette turned his head to face Hercules. His lovely chocolate brown eyes, his soft features. The way his brows creased when he got worried, and any worry he had before about how intimidating he was, washed away. He looked like he could snap Laf in half, and yet as he stared at this man in the eyes, when he was so close, he realized how all that just vanished..

 

“O-oui, I am fine.” Lafayette turned away, only to be met with Alex looking at him with worry. He was about to say something when,  je remercie le Seigneur, John stepped in.

 

“Alright! My shift is done!” He placed his hands on the table in front of the three guys, pulling their attention away from Lafayette. “Now, where to? I’m in the mood for food.”

 

Alex rolled his eyes, “You’re always in the mood for food.” Chuckling, John offered to get dinner at some Mexican restaurant and then sleeping at his place, which eveyrone agreed on. Before Lafayette could leave, Anglica gave him a reasuring hug.

 

“You’re okay, Laf. You’re safe now.” When they broke apart, she walked over to John, and whsipered something inaudable to Laf.

  
  
  


“He’s been through a lot. Be good to him, understand? Don’t do anything stupid, and try not to fuck up for once, okay? And don’t you dare hurt him in any way. Or. Else.” John knew she was serious.

  
  


The ride to the restaurant was uneventful, to Laf’s dismay. He always had to distract himself, or he would think. And, most of those thoughts were negative. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he sat in front of two guys, Alex and John, while Hercules sat next to him. He felt his cheeks heat up.

 

“So, Laf. Tell me about yourself” Herc offered, “What do you like to do? Favorite movie? All that stuff.” 

 

“O-oh, well, uh, um..”

 

“I LIKE THE LION KING!” Alex yelled, which made John fall into a laughing fit at his randomness, Herc chuckling good naturedly. 

 

“Uh, yeah no shit. The only reason you like it is because you always relate to Timone for being short.” Hercules shot back.   
  


“Hey! I’m not that short!” Alex said, making John laugh even more. “I’m not!”

 

“Yeah, well between the four of us you are.” John said, which made Laf crack a smile, spurring John on. “Plus, yesterday you were screaming the intro song.” Alex turned red.

 

“I-I thought we agreed not to bring that up…” He crossed his arms and pouted like a child. 

 

“Yeah, we both knew that wouldn’t happen.” John shot back, making Laf chuckled quietly.

  
  
  


When they got to the restaurant, they picked out a booth and began deciding on what to eat while Alex complained about Jefferson and what not.

 

“-and then he was all like, ‘what do you mean I don’t have good hair?’ as if that was the point of the whole arguement! Which it was not! God, it funny how dumb he is.” Lafayette knew ALex and Thomas’ relationship after spending not even a day with him, and hearing stories about the two from Ange. They hated each other. But, to Laf that was a mere facade. The two adored each others’ unique traits like Alex’s non-stop mouth and Jefferson’s ability to annoy his apponent until they’re nothing but sputtering obsurdities. 

 

“Yo laugh, you had a taco before?” John asked. Laf shook his head. 

 

“hOLY SHIT.” Hercules yelled, throwing his hands on the table, staring at him determinedly. “WAITER!” He basically shouted, “GIVE US ALL THE TACOS YOU GOT.” 

  
Laf was in for an odd night, thats for sure.


	4. n o I c e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dinner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG DJIXOSKSJALD
> 
> I couldn't find my keyboard for my tablet
> 
> ...I WAS IN MY MOMS CLOSETT??? HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN???!!

It was… an interesting night to say the least. John drank one too many margaritas, and was now on the verge of passing out. He was leaning on Alex, squishing him into the wall because their size difference was drastic.

  
“I-I *hic* IIIIIIIII think, th-at we should go home to myyy bedroom hotstuff~” He mumbled towards Alex, making him beet red. John was beginning to become grabby, his hands squeezing Alex’s cheeks lightly.

  
“J-John, please.” Alex obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Using his arms he, as gently as possible, pushed John off of him, leaning on the seat of the booth.

  
“But Aleeeeex” John pouted and tried to make puppy dog eyes, which Alex was having none of.

  
“Jonathan Laurens, we have guests.”

  
“Th-thats not my real name..” He hiccuped, then pouted.

  
Lafayette wasn’t used to someone being so open. He chuckled good naturedly at the way John would tug on Alex’s long hair, while he was trying to pay for the food. John suddenly snatched the pen from Alex, who had about enough of his shenanigans.

  
“John!” Alex reached to get it back, shaking the table, which brought Herc out of his Taco induced sleep.

  
“W-wha-?” He rubbed his eyes sleepily and dear god if Laf didn’t think that was the cutest thing ever. It took all of his willpower not to kiss him it was concerning.

  
“Morning suuuuuSHIIINE!” John slurred/yelled, earning glares from everyone around him.

  
“Shhhh!” Alex shushed, which only made John yell more.

 

 

  
John sat on the couch, slung across Hercules and Alex, while Laf sat in front of Herc, his back leaning on his legs. Laf was tense at first, but finally relaxed when the movie started to play.

  
Alex hummed the Lion King intro, Hercules laughing when John sat up and curled against Alex like a kid. John wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck, snuggling into his chest. Lafayette looked adoringly at the two, wishing George and his relationship was like that, even if Alex and John weren’t together(YET.)

  
“a-alex, “ John whispered quietly, so no one but him and Alex could hear, “when are you going to tell them?” Alex nuzzled into the mans curly hair, sighing deeply, knowing the longer he waits, the worse it’ll get.   
“I don’t know, babe. Soon.” Him and John shared a small peck on the lips, quick enough that Laf and Herc wouldn’t notice.

  
(  
(

  
Hercules knew. He knew the two loved each other. He could tell since he introduced the two. Alex, being the loud mouth he is, had gushed unknowingly about John, not realizing how obvious he was making his crush. John, on the other hand, wasn’t so obvious to people who were strangers. Unlike Herc. He might have had it worse than Alex, the way his back would straighten when he walked by, or the way his eyes dazzled when his name is mentioned.

  
They were together.

  
They thought they were sneaky, thinking they could keep things from him. Thinking he wouldn’t notice the small kiss they just shared, the container of lube that was stored inside the cabinet in their bathroom.

  
Not to mention they live together.

  
He used to feel left out. He never knew what ‘love’ felt like, especially after Elizabeth. He shivered at the thought. She was brutal, rude, never kind. Always in a bad mood. He kept it down, his feelings. He couldn’t be alone. He drew the line when he found out about her affair with Charles Lee. The two were good for each other, those bastard homophobes.

  
Being the only straight one in the group had it’s disadvantages. John being gay and Alex being bi made him feel like he was missing something.

  
And now, he knew what it was.

  
No wonder his past relationships never worked out.

  
He wasn’t straight. He was demisexual.

  
He knew as soon as the new guy walked in.

  
Lafayette.

  
How could he be so stupid? It felt like 100 trucks were being dropped on him. His eyes, his hair, his personality, his laugh.

  
Oh god, his laugh. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard. He had only heard it a couple times, knowing how hard his life had been before he met the trio. He knew.

  
Thank goodness for Angelica.

  
Lafayette had this charming aura on him. He just, had a way with people. Or…

  
Had a way with Hercules at least.

  
He wishes he could embrace Laf In a hug, and tell him that he knew. He knew everything. And tell him it's okay. It's gonna get better. And keep telling him that until both were a crying mess and a pile of snuggling men.

  
And once the two were done their crying, he'd wrap him in a blanket, throw him in his bed and spoon each other while watching romantic comedies.

  
He was just that type of guy.  
(  
(  
(  
Laf wasn't sure if he could keep this up. At first, resting his back on Hercules’ (strong, beautiful, delicious) legs was enough. He wanted nothing more than to pause the movie and start licking and tasting every inch of the man’s body. And THEN,,

  
and then…

  
Herc began mindlessly playing with his hair. Scratching his scalp, working his soft fingers through his curls.

  
Holy shit did that feel good.

  
In response, Laf basically purred when Herc rubbed a particularly sensitive spot. Lafayette could practically hear the other man’s smirk. And that's how it went for the remainder of the night. Hercules massaging his head, Laf leaning closer into him, John passed out against Alex, and finally the movie ended.

  
Laf was basically asleep by the time it was over. Hercules began standing up, making a drowsy Lafayette mumble incoherent French. Chuckling, Herc crouched down and wrapped his muscular arms around the French man and hurled him up, Bridal style. He made his way upstairs into his room.

  
Lafayette clung to Hercules’ tee shirt, refusing to let go. Just when Herc thought he had loosed his grip on his shirt, Laf simply tightened it again. Sighing, he decided that he'd lay next to him for a few moments then leave.

  
Laf had other plans.

  
Once Herc was laying down, a practically drunk, Lafayette crawled over on top of him, and rested his head on the man's chest.

  
This was going to be a long night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like comments.
> 
> a lot


	5. sexiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laf and Herc have a talk, and Alex and John come(LOL) clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYY GUYS!!
> 
> sorry for this being wAYYYY too late, but school is cray and the holidays made me busy and jiwqhhdlahfkahlf I ALSO MAY HAVE HAD WRITERS BLOCK OOPS
> 
> Welp,, enjoy another chapter of my awkwardness ;;))

Peaceful.

That's was an understatement for how Lafayette felt currently. He felt so… happy. Content. He felt like himself. He relished in this moment, enjoying the pattern of breaths from the man next to him, his chest rising and falling with Laf resting atop of him. The warmth that emitted from the body, in bed-

  
“GAH!” Lafayette jumped off of Hercules, yelping when he knocked his head against the wall, cradling the bruise darkening on the back of his head. He suddenly was knocked back into his senses when a large hand caressed his arm, and he pushed himself impossibly closer to the wall.

“N-no… not again.. th-this cannot be h-happening to me..” Laf murmured, feeling tears prick in the corners of his eyes. “g-God… I'm so stupid…. I should've stayed w-with George… I really am a slut…” The tears in Lafayette’s eye finally came streaming down, close to hyperventilating, as a sob escaped him.

“Laf! Laf, calm down, n-nothing happened!” But Laf simply shook his head refusing to believe Herc.

“I-I'm so sorry… please d-don't be upse-et with me, I-I don't remember what ha-happened and I think I was drunk bu-but I won't do it again I promise… p-please don't tell Alex or J-john, I'll do whatever you want just… please…” Lafayette became hysterical, sobbing uncontrollably, trembling as he curled in on himself, backing out the outside reality.

“Lafayette.” Laf still remained silent apart from his soft sobs and mumbled French. “Laf,” Hercules still didn't get an answer. “Lafayette!” He said sternly, which finally got Laf’s attention.

“y-yes?” He said quietly, practically breaking Hercules’ heart.

“Listen to me, okay?” He pulled Lafayette’s hands away from his hair, and held them in his own. “Nothing happened last night, okay? We didn't do anything other than lay in bed together. Nothing sexual, nothing touchy. You fell asleep on top of me, and I didn't want to wake you, so that's why I'm still here, okay?” After a few beats of silence, Laf nodded. He sniffled and quickly wiped away his tears, sighing in frustration.

“Now I feel like an idiot..” He mumbled. Hercules gave an apologetic smile to the Frenchman, and pulled him into a hug. Lafayette was predictably tense at first, but relaxed into the hug and returned it.

“Sorry…” Hercules whispered. Laf simply held on tighter, shaking his head and buying it into the crook of his neck. Suddenly he began shaking, until Herc realized he was crying again, soft sobs escaping his mouth and tears falling onto his own shirt.

“Its alright, you're safe now. I won't let anything happen to you…” Hercules soothed, only makings Laf cry harder. His shaky shoulders arching up with each deep breath.

“Th-thank you…”  
)  
)  
)  
Hercules decided to grab breakfast so he could let Lafayette get dressed out of his old clothes from yesterday, only to find Alex and John making out in front of the refrigerator. He watched as Alex trailed a hand up John’s shirt, giving a pinch that made John squeak into Alex’s mouth. Blushing, Herc turned on his heels and quietly made his way back upstairs, feeling more flustered the more he thought about it.

He decided to take a shower before going back down, hoping that would give the two enough time to get their fill of each other. If not, well, who knows what will happen. Sighing, he turned on the water and proceeded to undress.

Showers scared him. It wasn't that he didn't care about hygiene, it's just that he didn't like being alone with his thoughts. He was worried that if given enough time, his thoughts would become darker and darker, which lead to memories. Unpleasant ones mostly.

The water was hot. Scorching hot. It burned his back and neck, a sensation he was used to by now. It felt like it melted his troubles away, allowing him to focus on the pain emitting from his back. Pain was his only distraction. He needed it. It was like a drug, and he was addicted to it. Sighing, he knew he was wasting water, and finished up quickly.

  
With a towel draped around his legs, he made his way back into his room he was using. Upon opening the door, he was met with a shirtless Lafayette, wearing a pair of sweatpants that were slightly too big, exposing part of his hips. He seemed to be still getting changed, even though it had been almost half an hour. He faced the window of the room, humming a song and pulling his hair up into a ponytail. He seemed to be okay, happy, until he turned around.

You wouldn't believe the awkwardness of two mutual guy friends standing shirtless and staring at eachother, until it has really happened to you in real life. Hercules must say, he didn't mind staring at Lafayette, although… he was a lot skinnier than Hercules imagined. No wonder he was playing with his food so much, he must have some bad eating habits.

Laf, on the other hand, was practically drooling at the man in front of him. He had fucking abs, and the biggest biceps he'd ever seen. Not only was he shirtless, but he was dripping with water, only adding to the look.

“U-uh..” Herc started, obviously uncomfortable, finally breaking Laf out of his trance.

“O-oh, uh, s-sorry….” Lafayette grabbed a shirt that was on the bed and slipped it on, a blush creeping up his neck. Even through the shirt, Herc could slightly see his ribs. He'd have to make something special for breakfast. And by special, he meant pancake mix from a box.   
)  
)  
)

Lafayette thought that seeing Hercules half naked was extremely awkward. Possibly the most awkward experience he'd ever had, until he walked downstairs to see Alex and John practically dry humping eachother on one of the bar stools. The blush from before only worsened.

He tried to quietly go back upstairs by walking backwards, but (OF COURSE) a panel on the wooden floor was creaky as ever.

*creak*  
Fuck.

John snapped his eyes open and turned directly towards Laf. Alex, obviously not hearing the creak, proceeded to suck at John’s neck, making John twitch and hold back a moan. John finally shoved Alex off of him, and finally got him to notice that they were not alone anymore.

“SORRY, OH GOD IM SO SORRY!” Lafayette covered his eyes with a hand, red as a tomato, and tried going back upstairs, once to fall because he couldn't see.

“L-Laf we… uh- I..” John was impossibly redder than the Frenchman, Alex simply covered his face with his hands.

“Oh god.. we're so sorry” He murmured.

“What happened?” Hercules finally emerged from his room, and came from behind Laf, cocking his head.

“I-I… we, uh.. Laf..” John fought for words, but proceeded to sigh and shake his head.

“WE’RE DATING.” Alex blurted, earning him a smack to his arm from his boyfriend. “What? They were going to find out sooner or later!”

“Finally.” Hercules spoke up. “It's about time you told me.”

“Y-you knew?” John asked.

“How the hell could I NOT know? You two fucking live together, as if that doesn't seem a little suspicious. I, may have also walked in on you two this morning… and multiple other times…”

That earned a groan from John, and a deep blush from Alex. “O-oh…

“Well, uh, surprise-?” Alex gave a nervous laugh, earning another smack on the arm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOOPS I DIDNT PROOFREAD :(((((((((()


	6. Flufffferz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Herc walks in on Laf doing things 
> 
> hint: ITS NOT MASTURBATION.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is self harm, cutting etc. in this chapter please be aware. 
> 
> WIGGITY WIGGITY WASSUP MY DUDES EARLY CHAPTER YALL WHOWOOOOOO I WAS JUST IN A RLY GOOD MOOD IDK WHY BUT YAYAYYAAY
> 
> sexi is coming soon, so be patient it will be here

Although Hercules lived in a shared apartment, he seemed to be here more than his actual home. And by that, Lafayette means that Hercules sleeps over practically every night.

But Lafayette doesn't mind. Not. At. All.

The two have become closer, though it hadn't been very long. After the whole shirtless incident, Lafayette made sure to never leave a door unlocked while changing or while doing…

… other things…  
)  
)  
)

Hercules couldn't take it. Not only were John and Alex making it 20x worse than it already is with their constant making out and (not so quiet) sex, but Lafayette was possibly the biggest tease ever without actually trying to be a tease. Lord, Hercules would do anything to just pin him to the wall and-

No. No… you can think like that. He's been through so much. Too much, even. He needs to recover. He needs time, comfort and constant watching over.

Herc wonders what he does behind closed doors. He seems so closed off, that Hercules wouldn't be surprised is he was plotted WW3 in his own room. Not to mention, possibly the most closed off person he's met.

He used to wonder what he did, why he spent to long in the bathroom. It worried him. Curiosity may have killed the cat… but Lafayette might be in even bigger trouble than he himself.

  
He had just come home from his work at the local gym, the work day boring as ever. The clients, stubborn as ever, the only decent client being a man named James Madison, a quiet rather kind man.

It wasn't late, possibly around four o’clock. Alex and John had gone out, claiming they needed some ‘time together’ as a new couple, that meaning they were going to fuck each other until both their noses were bleeding.

Sighing, he knew he smelled awful. He had sweat through his clothes, the only protecting of the scent being his rather thick sweatshirt. He made his way upstairs, into the bathroom, hoping to get a peaceful quick shower…

but instead he got a horrifying image.

Lafayette stood there, terror etched in his features while he held a kitchen knife in his hand, both which were trembling. Casting his gaze downward, he saw blood oozing from Laf’s bicep, trailing from not one, but both arms. More tears ran down the others face, the longer Hercules stared. Finally, he broke out of his trance, and cautiously made his way over to the Frenchman, being careful not to startle him.

Lafayette stepped back, unsure of what Herc was doing. Scared he'd get hit, or worse. He couldn't lose another friend. He looked for an escape route, somewhere, anywhere, an unguarded space, somewhere he could jump through and just sprint far away from here.

Instead, he was trapped, left facing the crush of his life, shaking and trembling. Hercules slowly extended a hand, and Laf flinched away, tears flowing endlessly down his face, as he murmured French apologies.   
“I-I… I'm sorry… please d-don't look at me… I'm disgusting.. I sho-” a hand. A warm, gentle hand, stroked the side of his face.

Laf’s face was soft. So delicate, perfectly colored, and beautiful. He stroked his index finger along his jaw, as Lafayette tensed and untensed beneath him, as if testing his limit. His breath was soft, small pants going past those luscious lips, so plump and full.

His wild hair sticking to the sides of his face, either form nervous sweat or tears, Hercules wasn't sure, but what he did know was that, holy shit, he loved this man. He loved him so much, words could not describe his affection.

He gently trailed his hand along Laf’s arm, and finally found the hand with the knife in it. Carefully, testingly, he grasped the knife handle and, when Laf relaxed under his touch, broke it from the Frenchman’s grasp.

Hercules placed the knife on the sink counter, keeping it from Laf’s reach, not risking a step he'd regret. He now cast his gaze to his arms, where slightly dried blood streaked his delicate skin. Hercules thought about using a washcloth to clean it off, but decided against it.

Started running a bath instead.

Lafayette seemed hesitant at first. They didn't know each other THAT well, but… a bath sounded nice. In fact, he…

he was beginning to trust Hercules. He trusted him as he silently asked permission to undress him. He treated him as he did so, and even allowed him to pick him up and, carefully, place him into the bath.

Lafayette was skinny. Not quite as skinny as before, but skinny nonetheless. He was getting better, slowly, since Herc noticed a small patch of pudge near the bottom of Laf’s belly. He smiled internally at that. He also smiled at the fact this man trusted him enough to get naked in front of him, put his whole body out on display, and still trust him.

Hercules dipped the washcloth underwater, not before rolling up his sleeves. Lafayette sat motionless, staring in front of him at the wall, while twiddling his thumbs underwater.

“I-Is this alright?” Hercules asked. Lafayette nodded, and cast his own gaze downward, slightly blushing. After all, he was naked in front of a grown man. He was about to have more doubts when a soft cloth began softly rubbing at the blood from his self inflicted wounds. He sighed and closed his eyes, secretly loving the soft contact.

He had a feeling. He knew that Laf was doing this to himself… god, he knew. And yet, he still didn't do anything about it. Looking down, underneath the blood, there were dozens of overlapped scars. All fresh.

How could he have let this happen?

“Laf?” a soft grunt in recognition, “Could you dip your head underwater for me, please?” Without hesitation, Lafayette did as asked, and came back up a moment later, dripping and slightly shivering.

Hercules softly rubbed and massaged shampoo into Laf’s curls, the Frenchman purring, PURRING, in return. The most adorable sound he had ever heard.   
)  
)  
)

“I’m sorry..” Lafayette said when they were back in his room. He stood in a towel wrapped around his gaunt frame, shivering.

“No, no, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Truly, I am. I wish… I, I just wish I could've helped you…”

“B-but, you have!” Laf blushed slightly at his outburst, “I, erm, Herc, you have helped me so much, more than you know. If it weren't for you, I… I might be dead right now. You've done so much for me…

thank you.”

That was it. Hercules couldn't control himself. Either the image of the bed behind a dripping Lafayette or the sincerity of the latter’s voice, he wasn't sure, but he gripped Lafayette by the shoulders and pulled him in firmly.

They kissed. 


	7. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf and Herc get closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol im updating chapter faster than the bee movie became a meme.
> 
> SHORT CHAPTER SORRY

The world around Lafayette seemed to dissapear, it felt like he was floating in thin air. The second his lips locked with Hercules, he felt as if he was on top of the world. Herc’s arms moved down, so he could wrap around Laf’s small  frame, pushing the Frenchman into his body. Lafayette seemed to forget he wearing a towel for second, because he tried wrapping his arms around Hercules’ neck,  but instantly retracted since he’d rather not be naked in front of him again.

 

Instead, he pushed his chest deep into Hercules’ body and allowed that to hold up his towel so he could properly deepen the kiss. 

 

Lafayette felt something prod at the corner of his mouth, which he obediently opened to allow access, and hummed in pleasure as he tasted to burly man for the first time. Suddenly, he felt Herc buck his hips forward slightly, which made Laf give off a soft moan into the other’s mouth.

 

When the two finally pulled back, Lafayette adjusting his towel, and Hercules’ eyes half lidded and lustful, they simply stared  into each others eyes for awhile, taking in ragged breaths.

 

Lafayette blushed profusely, pushing back the dirty things he’d like to do to the man standing in front of him, and instead squirmed awkwardly under Herc’s gaze.

 

Hercules suddenly placed his hands atop of Laf’s shoulders, and instead of connecting their lips, he connected his forehead with the other, humming quietly and closing his eyes, enjoying the other’s scent. 

 

Laf giggled lightly when Hercules began kissing his forehead softly, then moved down to his nose, sucking lightly and giving the Frenchman’s shoulders a squeeze.

 

“Th-that tickles!” Laf smiled, and chuckled happily, as he playfully pushed the other away. And, by doing that, he also dropped his towel, revealing himself to Hercules once more, this time letting him get a good look at the other.

 

The thing about Lafayette was that his body structure wasn’t exactly masculine. Thin, yes, but also much curvier. His ass was slightly round, with thick thighs that looked impossibly perfect. 

 

But… something was just off about his body. Not in a bad way,of course, but something…

 

Then it dawned on him. Lafayette had a large scar right across his stomach. Upon realization that Herc noticed the wound, Laf covered himself up, blushing, and began to pull away.

 

Hercules noticed this, and reacted the best he could. He took a step closer, and placed his hands on the other’s wrists, and placed them at their sides. 

 

“You,” Hercules started, “Are the most beautiful person I have ever seen.” He murmured, feeling a twist in his gut when Lafayette choked out a soft sob, shaking his head. Hercules placed a hand atop the others head and stroked softly, whispering sweet nothings into the others ear, only going further the more the other cried.

 

“You’re amazing, I care about you so much, you are worth it.” Everything only made Laf cry harder, until he rested his head on Herc’s chest, nuzzling into the fabric.

 

“I-I… I have so many sc-scars… I am b-broken…” Lafayette said quietly.

 

Hercules crouched down, and tipped Lafayette’s chin so the the angle allowed the other to look into Herc’s eyes. Cheeks flushed, hair a mess and tears still streaming down his face, Lafayette stared into the others eyes expectantly and slightly confused.

 

Hercules pulled Laf’s torso to his mouth, and kissed gently at the scar on Laf’s belly, which made Lafayette sob harder and cover his face with his hands, babbling French to himself.

 

Hercules trailed kisses along the Frenchman’s body, and made his way up to his collarbone, kissing and lightly sucking, earning a gasp from Laf. Herc gripped his hand and kissed his palm, his wrist and along his forearm. When he got the the bicep, where dozens of scars scattered randomly decorated his skin, he made sure kiss every last one.

*

*

Lafayette should’ve stopped this. He… he wasn’t sure why he felt guilty, but…

 

Did he truly deserve to be happy? No matter how hard he tried, he always thought about George. It wasn’t that he was thinking fondly of the man, not at all, but he just felt miserable whenever he thought of him.

 

Even in his worst moments, George always seemed to make things impossibly worse. 

 

But, being here, being practically worshipped by this man, simply made him regret nothing. Absolutely nothing.

 

They decided their relationship would be a secret, since neither had been very comfortable with their last. And, no matter how stingy Lafayette got about ‘rules’ and whatnot, Hercules listened. He seemed to enjoy when the other talked.

(

(

 

Lafayette was getting better. He was recovering. He talked with little to no stutter, he began smiling with his eyes…

 

He laughed. Hercules could listen to that laugh for hours on end and never get bored of it. He loved the way Laf would blush if Hercules would sneak a rather sexual comment or kiss him while John and Alex weren’t paying attention.

 

“I love you.” Hercules suddenly blurted, unable to contain it for much longer. Lafayette sat next to him on the couch, only being together for about two weeks, and yet they seemed liek an old married couple(minus the sex.). It had been hard to keep them a secret, since both of their roomates were rather obserbive. 

 

“I-i…no ones ever said that to me before…” Laf sputtered, lookign away sheepishly. Hercules grasped his hand in his own, giving a soft squeeze and bringing it up to kiss it, lingering a little too long.

 

“Well, I do. I love you so much. Beyond words.”

 

“So, it’s final? We… we are together?” Hercules gave a nod, which made Lafayette light up. “Je t’aime, mon amour.” And sealed the words with another kiss.

 

They hadn’t had sex with eachother. Never thought about it, since they told themselves they weren’t together yet. Now that they were, they could tell Alex and John, who were currently getting rather intimate with each other in their now shared bedroom presumably. But, the question was still lingering on Laf’s tongue, and couldn’t help himself.

 

“When are we going to tell Alex and John, Herc?” Lafayette asked.

 

“Tell me what?” Lafayette and Herc turned to see John standing there hilding a bottle of water, eating a granola bar.

  
Better tell him soon rather than later, Hercules told himself.


	8. ANgst.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette goes for a walk.
> 
> Things don't go as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOrdy lord lord yall knew this was comin whEWWWWIIEEE WHAT A CHPATER TO WRITE
> 
> lololol I'm still sick but I'm getting better I can actually talk without feeling like a hundred knives are slicing at my throat so yAYYYY
> 
> anyway this is a longer chapter ur welcome and don't expect many randomly fast updates bc school is shitty but heeERE you go enjoy my angst
> 
> WARNING: There is attempted rape in this chapter, It is not recommended to be skipped, but you may if you'd like

Lafayette always seemed to be surprised by something. Whether it was the fact he built up the courage to escape George, or to finally move on and begin to recover, he wasn’t sure.

But what he was sure of was the fact that he felt fine about telling John everything. Not his past, but the fact that Hercules and him were indeed, dating.

John was skeptical at first, looking between the two like there was some kind of hidden joke or possibly just a prank, but when the two showed no signs of anything funny, no side glances, he just accepted it. 

“Cool.” John said, and although he should be the one surprised, it seemed like Lafayette was looking into the eyes of a ghost.

“‘Cool’? That's… that's it? You are… okay with this relationship?” Laf cocked his head and squinted his eyes as if searching John, who just shrugged.

“Well, yeah, I mean you were fine with Alex and I, so why shouldn’t I be fine with you two?” John gave a nervous laugh, while Lafayette was so wide eyed Hercules wouldn’t be surprised if his eyes popped out.

“I-I… I just, I don’t know… I expected more I guess?” Lafayette finally relaxed and smiled as he rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. Hercules felt his heart melt.

“Nah, I kinda expected it. Especially what with the way you two make goo-goo eyes at each other when you think we aren’t looking.” John smirked, and only became more smug when Hercules threw a pillow at him.

“Well now you know how I felt for the past four years!” Herc yelled at him as John sprinted upstairs laughing, leaving the two alone. “Damn, that guy is the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met.” 

*

*

*

He couldn’t remember a time when he was happier. Lafayette had never truly allowed himself to be happy, and yet here he is, on the verge of melting every time Hercules and him touched. Even a simple brush of the shoulder or accidental hand-to-hand contact made him blush. Not to mention when they kiss.

When the two lock lips, Lafayette’s knees go weak. Literally, they buckle and he can’t stand anymore, making Hercules laugh uncontrollably when he tried to stand up again, only to fall once more. He wasn’t sure why, since it wasn’t the first time they’d kissed, but he couldn’t help it.

He was just so damn lucky.

Sighing, Lafayette ordered a coffee and decided to go looking for a job in an abandoned paper that sat on an empty table. Staying home while everyone else was at work made him fell guilty and Lafayette didn’t want to be useless. 

The newspaper had several wanted signs, but nothing that truly stood out to Laf. Most of it was for grocery stores, pharmacists and one for an accountant intern, but not something that he’d truly enjoy.

Alex was blogger and also worked at the local library, where he stacked books and helped people check them out. Hercules worked at a coffee shop, but told Laf to come when business wasn’t so busy. John worked at a shooting range, claiming that he was ‘born for it’, which, to Lafayette, sounded like BS. The three of them knew John just liked shooting guns to relieve stress.

Lafayette paused his search when the lady called his name, handing him his drink, and walked outside, frustrated that he couldn’t find a single job. But what could he possibly do? He wasn’t that smart, nor useful. Maybe… maybe a job at the grocery store wasn’t such a bad idea.

Hercules ended work soon, Laf knew. But he decided to continue his walk, feeling an odd peace inside of him. He didn't pay attention to where he was walking, just walked whereever his feet took him, while he decided to text Hercules.

That was another reason why he wanted a job. So he could pay his friends back for buying him a phone. In all honesty, he didn’t think he’d want one. That is, until he got it. He found that social media was one of his favorite things. It helped him distract himself for when he was feeling particularly down. 

**To: Mon amour <3, sent at 4:21**

**Hey,, u done?**

He waited a few seconds, and heard a ding.

**From: Mon amour <3, sent at 4:23**

**Yea, just finishd, where u at**

**To: Mon amour <3, sent at 4:24**

**Just at that coffee shop downtown, takin a walk ;3**

**From: Mon amour <3, sent at 4:26**

**K ill see u @ home ‘,;)**

Lafayette chuckled to himself, the way Herc was so forward and honest to him made him feel warm inside. He couldn’t help but blush at the fact that he took time out of his day to always call at 12:30. Not to mention to good morning messages.

Lafayette finally stopped scrolling through his Instagram, and when he looked up to where his footsteps had lead him, he felt his blood run cold.

His… his old apartment building. George… Angelica...his past…

“So unfortunate..” Lafayette felt his heart stop beating, when he heard that voice. He recognized it. He knew it so well. It… it was…

“G-George…” Lafayette whispered. He didn’t dare turn around. He couldn’t. He wasn’t sure he could take the sight of him. (Un)fortunately for him, George slowly proceeded to walk closer to him. Laf had to fight not to recoil from the way his breath hit his neck. 

Part of Lafayette wanted to run. He wanted to throw a punch right to that sorry bastard’s face. But, part of him, the stronger instinct, wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t comprehend much. He could barely comprehend the words coming out of  _ his _ mouth.

“Y’know, I fucking knew you’d come back. Of course you’d bring your sorry ass crawling back over here.” His breath hot on his skin, Lave felt sick enough to vomit when a firm hand began slinking up his waist. God, he wanted to break free and run. But he couldn’t, something inside him wouldn’t let him move. 

Suddenly, without warning, the hand on his waist tightened, enough to bruise, and Lafayette yelped when a strong hand yanked at his ponytail, sending him backwards and hitting the back of his head on the hard pavement.

Laf gave a groan of pain when his brain finally allowed him to move. He gripped the back of his head, cradling the wound. A soft sob escaped him when George crouched down in front of his face.

“Fucking weak. Already crying and I haven’t even fucked you yet. You’re so pathetic.” George brought a harsh kick to Laf’s gut, the tears that brimmed his eyes finally leaked out. He only cried more when the same hand grasped his hair once more, and pulled him into an alleyway beside the house.

He screamed. God, he screamed until his throat felt raw and all that came out were a few scratchy groans. His back hit the back of a cement wall, face going pale when he came face to face with the devil himself.

“Look at you, so willing to submit.” He cupped Laf’s cheek much too tightly, the skin becoming red and irritated quickly, his other hand wiping at a few stray tears and licking them from his finger. “Shh, shh… don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. After today, things will go back to the way they were.”

George suddenly ripped Lafayette’s shirt from his now bruising body, his hands coming up to cover himself on instinct, but whimpered when George’s cold grimy hands ripped them away.

“Look at you, you’re so fucking fat now.” He poked at his belly, then squeezed it painfully, barking out a snicker when Laf choked out a sob. “Don’t worry, all of this will be gone in a matter of a week.”

Lafayette knew what that meant. It meant he wouldn’t be eating anything but a few scraps of food that George decided to spare. It only made him cry more, his head feeling too heavy and him feeling too tires to fight back anymore, hanging his head in shame.

He felt helpless. It wasn’t worth it. Hercules was probably thinking he was still at that coffee shop-

His phone.

He had his phone in his pocket still.

“Now, when I punish you, you better take it like a good whore, got it?” Laf nodded, his tears slowing slightly, but starting back up when George turned slightly to unbuckle his pants.

Laf grasped his phone quickly, shaky hands dialing the number, his arms shivering not helping whatsoever. While George worked on tugging down his pants, Lafayette finally finished dialing Hercules when his phone was suddenly ripped from his grasp and throw to the floor.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT!” George grabbed his hair once more, and instead of pulling forward, he slammed his already wounded head into the cement wall behind him, not once, not twice, but three times, enough to make Laf’s vision blurry, eyelids fluttering.

When George pulled out his… oh god… his cock, his screaming presumed, hoping a single soul would be keen enough to hear it.

His hair was still being painfully yanked at, and he thought all hope was lost. This was it. Hercules would never know what happened to him. John would never teach him how to shoot a rifle, and Alex wouldn’t be able to show him the thousands of stories he had on his computer. 

His face inched closer to the man’s dick, and suddenly he felt a surge of strength in him, and he tried pulling away, sweat now collecting in his brow, as he panted heavily. His legs kicked uselessly at nothing, as he he yelled manically.

His arms tried pushing the man’s hips away, shaking his head roughly, but a hard slap to the face made him freeze. It was hopeless. There was no escape. 

Finally, he submitted. He let George angle his cock into his mouth, just as he was going to thrust in. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine anything else. He could pretend it was Hercules… but the grip on his hair and the rapid insults at him made it impossibly hard.

“Open your fuckin- AHH!” The grip from his hair was suddenly released, and the warmth that emitted from George’s cock disappeared in an instant. He forced his eyes open, shoulders still trembling, eyes still hazy, and watched the scene unfold in front of him.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Hercules gripped tightly at George’s shirt collar, his eyes narrowed and angry. As Lafayette stared, he realized how utterly terrifying Hercules was in this state.

He stood at his full height, chest out and a vein popping from his forehead at how tense he was. Sweat gathered at his brow, only adding to the intensity. He roughly shoved George’s head against the wall, teeth gritted, pulled into a firm snarl.

His arm drew back, and then shot forward, hitting George square in the nose, possibly breaking it. He continued endlessly, punch after punch.

  
“You piece of shit! How dare you hurt him!” He threw George to the ground, now a pile of limp limbs, as George cried uncle, begging Hercules to stop as blood dripped heavily from every inch of his face.

“P-Please… s-stop..” George weakly cried, only spurring on Hercules more, his strong biceps relentlessly smashed into him. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes, finally stopping, when George lay unconscious, the only hint of life being the soft rise and fall of his chest.

“Oh god, Laf, I’m… I-... I'm so sorry.” Any anger or intensity drained faster than a blink of an eye from Hercules’ face, as he crouched down, and looked over his boyfriend. His heart shattered when Laf backed away, shaking his head through the tears, eyes squeezing tightly together, trembling hands coming up to cover his bruised face.

“Please, baby, c’mon… he won’t hurt you, I promise, never again.” Although, Hercules was unsure if Laf was afraid of George, or him. Sighing, he extended an arm, and gently caressed Laf’s hand that still covered his face, slowly dragging it down to his wrists, and pulling them down softly.

“That’s it, nice and easy,” He whispered. Now seeing how badly hurt Laf truly was. He had a black eye, right cheek bright red and upper forehead bled thoroughly. He wiped away a few tears from his face, trying to soothe him. 

“H-herc?” Laf’s horse voice cut through his thoughts, and he smiled, now realizing he too was crying. 

“Hey, love.. It’s me, I’m right here.” Hercules grasped Lafayette’s hands in his, interlocking them, and pulled him into a soft hug, being careful not to touch the dark bruises and wounds that scattered his torso.

**“It’s going to be okay.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soRYYRYYY


	9. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn some background from Hercules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I JUST READ THE FOREST FIC FOR TWENTY ONE PILOTS AND IM BAWLING MY EYES OUT AHOWQHCS;A TYLER DIED FOR NOTHING OMG IM SO SAD NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> look I updated on time whoooohoooo
> 
> Forest Fic by SoloChaos link here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1822504?view_adult=true
> 
> this is worse than Spiralini(ng out of control) like honestly

The small hiccups that came from Laf only made Hercules’ heart hurt more. Lafayette’s hands scrambling for purchase on the back of his shirt, grasping it tightly. His head buried into his shoulder, despite the wounds on his face. His now bare trembling torso shook so harshly he was worried that there was internal damage, but realized he was probably just cold. 

Hercules rubbed Laf’s arms gently, trying to warm him up, but nothing seemed to help. He stripped himself of his pullover hoodie and slipped it over the Frenchman’s head, being mindful of the numerous bruises and taking extra time to slip it over his now destroyed ponytail. 

Lafayette’s head hung in defeat, tears not relenting, sniffling as he stared at his legs. The sweatshirt was much too big for his smalled frame, and it swallowed his arms entirely. If it weren’t for the situation, Hercules would say he looked extremely cute. 

“Laf…” He murmured gently, waiting a few beats when Lafayette flinched, “Look at me, love.” Lafayette shook his head, hands fumbling with the sleeves of the pullover, now seemingly interesting. “Please, c’mon baby, you gotta look up.” Sighing in defeat when he refused once more. 

When Hercules began standing up, in a panic, Lafayette jerked his head up in surprise. “D-don’t go! Please I-I’ll do whatever y-you want, d-don’t leave me… a-alone…” He got quieter at the last part, fresh tears cascading down his face, eyes red and puffy. 

His small perfect nose was red and hot, droopy eyes looking up at him sadly, miserable. His hands shook, and his legs twitched violently. His ponytail had loose hairs everywhere, and stuck to his face from him crying.

“Oh, Laf, I wasn’t gonna… I wouldn’t… I won’t leave you…” Hercules sat back down, Lafayette relaxing and laying his head on Herc’s chest, breathing in the others’ scent, still whimpering like a small puppy. 

“T-thank you…”

*

*

Hercules finally decided it was time to get out of the cold, turning and staring at George’s limp body, being sure he was still unconscious, then resuming to the task at hand. 

Lafayette squeaked when he was lifted off his feet and carried bridal style out of the alleyway, fresh air finally greeting him. He rested his head against Hercules’ strong body closing his eyes and wiping his nose from time to time. He had calmed down after about an hour of just embracing Herc and allowing him to whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

“You okay?” His deep voice cut through his thoughts, and he looked up into the other’s chocolate eyes, so warm and inviting. 

“Oui… I am… better.” Better, not good. Not fine, just better. 

Sure, he got a few odd looks from passing people and a few questioning glances, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to protect Lafayette. At this moment Lafayette was the only thing that truly mattered, and he refused to let anyone hurt him in any way ever again. 

*

*

When they arrived back at the house, no one was home. John and Alex probably looking for him. He didn’t care. All that mattered was Lafayette. 

When his boyfriend was stripped naked and shivering in his arms, he descended him into the warm bath, Lafayette gasping at the pleasurable feeling of his ice cold limbs finally feeling warmth. 

Hercules smiled when Laf practically purred in the water, closing his eyes and humming to himself. 

He turned to leave, give Laf some space, when a hand on his shirt stopped him. 

“D-don’t… don’t go…” He whispered, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes, shoulders trembling. Hercules looked down at him, his gaze apologetic, his brows scrunched together. 

“Laf… don’t you wan-”

“Can you… g-get in the tub t-to?” A blush arose from his cheeks and he looked away bashfully, Hercules staring in shock, but nodded. Lafayette needed support and comfort. He had to do anything in his power to help him relax.

“O-okay”

*

It was awkward at first. Even if they were dating, seeing each other naked in a tub together is still strange. Well, to Hercules at least. He began stepping into the warm water, it felt hot against his sensitive skin, but he grew used to it, and sat a few feet from Lafayette, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. 

Instead, Laf came to him. He wadded his way over, and snuggled affectionetly next to him. Their bodies were pressed together, and, although Herc was tense at first, he relaxed and pulled his boyfriend closer, kissing the top of his head. 

“Je t’aime.” Laf murmured, closing his eyes and leaning his cheek of Herc’s bare shoulder. His long lashes had small specks of dew attached to them, and his cheeks were a rosy pink. Sure, he was still shaking, but he was okay. 

As long as he was safe, Hercules was happy.

If he had arrived a second later, lord knows what would have happened to Laf. God, Hercules felt sick at the thought of it. Things had come so close to spiraling out of control. If it wasn’t for Laf texting him his location and his loud screams from the alleyway, Hercules would have never found him. Just think, leaving work early to surprise you boyfriend saved the Frenchman’s life. 

He shuddered at the thought, but directed his attention back to the soft body next to him. Times like these were so important. When he was younger, he was desperate for any type of relationship, since how messed up his home was. That’s when Elizabeth cam into the picture. 

Elizabeth Sanders was a round assed, thick waisted, lip snarling bitch. She only dated for money, and when she went out to ‘work’, it meant going to the bar, getting wasted then getting laid. She didn’t take no for an answer, and disrespect directed towards her meant getting beat up by men she’d hooked up with before. 

At first, Hercules had thought that they could be together forever. She acted so genuine at first, so kind and loving. He had loved her so much, and then she ripped his heart into pieces and laughed at his suffering. 

When he found out about her cheating, her taking drugs, and her alcohol addiction, he tried reasoning with her. He told her she could get through this, that he could become a better boyfriend and give her whatever she wanted so she’d stop going out to clubs and getting high. 

She accepted his offer. 

After about a month, she had gotten him addicted to cocaine and marijuanna. The high was so worth the pain he’d feel the next day. The next day, he’d scavenge for more. He go to new neighborhoods with Elizabeth, what she’d call the ‘hood’, and get wasted beyond his dreams. 

He knew it was wrong. He knew how utterly bad his situation was, and that he truly needed to get rid of Eliza. 

But when he tried, she had punched him square in the jaw, then grabbed a pan that lay on the counter and bruised him until he was a shivering crying mess. It took one last good kick to the head to knock him out. When he woke up, his money was gone and so was his girlfriend. 

After that night, he swore to himself to get better. To improve and be rid of drugs and alcohol.

Easier said than done. 

It wasn’t until he met John at a bar late at night that he finally decided to make an effort to change. He was nursing a bottle of beer, when the freckled man came up and sat next to him. He looked absolutely miserable, tired as hell. 

“Rough day?” Hercules mumbled, catching the other’s attention.

“You have no idea.” He gave a dry laugh, then turned to face Herc. “What about you? You seem pretty beat up yorself.” Hercules grimaced and nodded, taking another swig of his beer, before setting it down.

“Well, life ain’t no bowl of cherries.” He said, earning a laugh from next to him. 

“No shit, sherlock.” The other man sighed, and placed his order with the pink haired waitress, then turned back towards Hercules. “I’m John Laurens.” He held out his hand.

Hercules took it and smiled, “Hercules Mulligan.” When the woman came back with his Sam Adams, the two hit it off. Joking about anything from politics to their jobs. John laughing obnoxiously and Hercules guffawing when John fell from his seat, earning a few angry glares from people around them.

For once in his life, he didn’t care.

The duo became impossibly close, and then came Alex. 

Alex talked non stop. Both John and Hercules knew it. Alex had a knack for debates and writing. 

Oh boy, did that shrimp write. 

Hercules met him at a Gay Rights march, which he attended to with John. 

Shockingly, when he introduced the two, they fell in love right before his eyes.

*

A shift beside him pulled him out of his thoughts, and he turned to see Lafayette staring at him, confusion on his face. 

“M-mon amour? You are… crying?” He cocked his head. Shocked, Hercules moved his arm and touched his own face with his hand and realized he was, in fact, crying. “Are you alright?” Worry seeped through the Frenchman’s words. 

“I should be asking you that.” Hercules said, cupping the others’ face with a large hand, stroking his cheek with his thumb, smiling as Lafayette eased into the touch. His small face turned into the hand and kissed it, taking a deep breath, and sitting up slightly.

**“Oui, I am as long as I am with you.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone get me a tissue plz


	10. A question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovering is easier than last time with friends he trusts...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes this is rly early but that bc I probably wont update this weekend bc I wont be home and I wont be able to write as much but idk we'll see
> 
> I honestly don't know how I feel about this chapter... I could've done better but idk I tried
> 
> Side Note: POPCORN IS SO FUCKGN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

John and Alex had a great time out. Sure, they hadn’t planned on being gone so long, but it was worth it. Even if the fancy restaurant they had tried to go to tasted nasty and they ended up buying takeout from a Thai restaurant around the corner and eating it in the parking lot of a McDonalds  _ then _ getting a quick fuck so no one noticed had been a bit shitty, it was still a hell of a time. 

The best part, besides the sex, was quite easily the after glow of it. Just sitting there, in each others naked arms, making out softy, was more than enough to John. He couldn’t ask for more. How breathless he left Alex, and the way his cheeks flushed when John muttered his name, was adorable. 

They were excited to chat endlessly with Herc and Laf, especially since they were left  _ home alone _ ,  _ together, _ for about two hours. 

John had expected to walk in on the two of them, Hercules (probably) on top of a breathless Lafayette. Or, maybe, Hercules on his knees, Lafayette on the couch biting one of his knuckles. But, what he hadn’t expected, was Lafayette sitting in Herc’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“L-Laf?” John asked. Lafayette visibly jumped, and nuzzled deeper into Herc’s neck. Hercules, on the other hand, was a bit more put together. He rubbed the others back, cooing him and murmuring in his ear, too far for John to hear.

“I…. what happened?” John said, dropping his back and quickly going over to the couch and sitting beside the two. “Oh, oh god, Lafayette, are you alright?” He went to place a hand on his friend, but retracted when Laf flinched at the touch. 

“Shhh… Laf, it’s alright, John won’t hurt you..” Hercules whispered into his ear. John heard Lafayette take a deep breath, composing himself. When he sat up, John saw how utterly destroyed Laf truly was. His usually impeccable ponytail now had pieces of hair flying from every direction. 

Hercules, being the sweet person he was, went to smooth some of it out. When he cupped Laf’s soft tear stained cheek, Lafayette closed his eyes and let out a soft sob, shaking his head and covering his face with his hands. It was at that moment, Alex decided to join them.

“HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS GUE-” Alex stopped mid sentence and stared awkwardly at the scene before him. His eyes widened, and fear suddenly etched into his features.

“Oh… oh, gosh, Lafayette are you okay?” Alex scrambled to drop his things and join the three of them on the couch, sitting next to his boyfriend. John looked at him, concern bleeding through his eyes. 

“Herc, what happened?” John asked, reaching out and grasping one of Laf’s hands lightly to pull it down and hold it in his own. Their fingers interlocked, John holding it delicately like it could break any second. Hercules went to move the other hand from the Frenchman’s face.

Hercules looked to his boyfriend, a silent question, and when Laf nodded, began telling the two of who Lafayette really is. 

He told them about George, Angelica, running away, cutting, starvation and almost getting raped not even three hours ago. Lafayette curled in on himself deeper the more Hercules listed. God, he was so broken. So utterly destroyed. He wasn’t sure if John and Alex would be as accepting or-

“I’m so sorry…” John murmured, and wrapped an arm around a surprised Lafayette. When the Frenchman turned to get sight of Alex, he saw the other was crying, head in his hands with shaking shoulders. 

“N-no one should have to g-go through anything like th-that…” Alex said between sobs. John pulled his boyfriend into the group hug, the four of them just together was more than enough for Laf. A sob slipped out of him because  _ god I don’t deserve these kind people what did I do to be so lucky… _

Hercules kissed the top of his forehead softy, whispering how brave he was, that he loved him so  much. 

*

*

Things were different now. John and Alex were cautious,

About everything. 

How loud they were, talking about sex, talking about food  **_everything._ **

Laf did appreciate the gesture. In all honesty who wouldn't, but he just didn’t want them to think pf him any different. He’d been through a lot, yes, but he was still  _ him. _

Huffing, he continued washing his dish in the sink as his three friends murmured about him in the other room.

*

*

“Have you ever thought about having sex?” 

Lafayette stared at his boyfriend, wide eyed and mouth agape. 

“Excuse moi?” he asked as he slipped on a pair of spandex and an (oversized) shirt. 

“Well, y’know like… what if… what if we ere getting intimate, and we were making out and then we just… fucked?” Hercules looked down at his lap, a soft blush across his cheeks as he spoke. “I… I don’t want to hurt you…”

Oh. 

So this is what this is about. Lafayette knew this conversation was coming. He wasn’t sure when but… it’s here now.

“And what makes you think you’d hurt me?” Laf raised a questioning brow, looking down at Hercules as the other sat at the foot of the bed. 

“I…” Herc was at a loss for words. He closed his eyes, composed himself and looked the Frenchman dead in the eyes. “I love you. So, so fucking much. But I can’t truly  _ show  _ you that if I might end up… triggering you? I don’t know how this stuff works… I…. just forget it..” he mumbled as he made a move to stand. 

“W-wait!” Laf said, grasping the other’s shirt and pulling him back. “Please, do not leave. I did not mean to… embarrass you I just… I was not expecting it…” Lafayette closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and looked up at his boyfriend. “I love you… very much as well, but I do not believe I am ready for that…”

“Oh, oh, Laf, I wasn’t… I didn’t… I wasn’t  _ asking _ you to uh… have sex with me… at least, not  _ now, _ I mean, I’d love to but, ah…” Hercules shook his head, covering his face with his hands and groaning. “I’m sorry, just… sheesh, I was just asking in case I happened to ever go too far…” He mumbled. 

Lafayette nodded slowly, now relaxed as his boyfriend crawled back onto the bed next to him. He took Laf’s hand and kissed it softly, earning him a giggle. 

“I love hearing you laugh..” Herc murmured, and kissed it once more, before moving up and kissing Lafayette lightly on the lips. “I love everything about you…” He straddled Laf and held his waist close, rubbing his sides and giving a soft squeeze, and returned to kissing him. 

  
Everything was okay… until…

“HERCULES I HAVE TO TELL- uh…” Alex stared awkwardly at a now beyond flustered Lafayette and a lustful Hercules, still straddling his boyfriend. “I… uh… um…” Alex’s neck light up a bright crimson as he continued to stare at the two lovers. 

“WELL DON’T JUST STAND THERE!” Hercules yelled as Laf scrambled to compose himself. Alex babbled, embarrassed at himself and ran out of the room, quicker than a fox. Hercules sighed and shook his head, turning his attention back to Lafayette. “I’m sorry, love, they have no idea what personal space is…” He said, earning a soft laugh from the Frenchman.

*

*

Sure, the mood had been ruined, but it was for the greater good. One more moan from Lafayette, and Hercules wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer. He sat on the couch now, Lafayette too embarassed to come downstairs yet, while Alex not-quite-whispered to John about what just happened. 

Huffing, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He stopped and stared in shock at who now stood in the center. 

**“Jefferson?” **


	11. Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out why Jefferson is there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHIWDIA;HDA SHOUTOUT TO @ Jkitty_trashcrash FOR MAKING ME MY FIRST FANASRTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ITS SO LOVELYYYYYYYYYY ITS BEYOND ANYTHING IVE EVER SEEN IS FANATSTICCCCCCCCCCCCC
> 
> THANK U SO MUCH HERES THE LINK<333: 
> 
> http://jkittynomnom.deviantart.com/art/Laf-alling-ayette-the-fighting-frenchman-660269469
> 
> THNAKS U SOO FREAKiN MUCH!!
> 
> sorry short chapter ;)

Jefferson was a simple man.

…

…

Okay, that wasn’t exactly accurate. What he _ meant _ was that he wasn’t one to snoop on other’s business. 

…

Alright that was a lie as well,, but the point  _ is _ ,

When is comes to Hamilton, he usually minds his own business. 

There was something about that short man that he always found endearing. Maybe it was his persistence, maybe his grit, or maybe it was the fact whatever shampoo he used Jefferson really needed to get his hands on that but an _ yway, _

He didn’t mind Hamilton missing a few days of work. It was a normal thing for normal people. Except…

Hamilton was  _ not _ normal. Quite the opposite, in fact. 

He could deal with being Ham-less for a few days. He actually enjoyed how quiet the room was when Hamilton wasn’t there to always put down his opinions. He found it quite amusing when no one was there to deny his opinions. 

(Being the man Hamilton is, Jefferson is guessing no one knew about his part time job at the Debate Association)

  
Shocking. It only came as a mild amount of sarcastic eye rolls when he called his less irritating boyfriend about why exactly the asshole wasn’t there, and John replied with a, ‘I didn’t know he even did that type of shit.’

Like Thomas said, shocker. 

It wasn’t that he  _ cared _ for Hamilton, god, no. He was… how you say, ‘concerned’ for his life. It wasn’t everyday Hamilton was missing  _ weeks _ of debate time. And, trust Jefferson when he says this, Hamilton  _ loved _ debating. 

Especially when he got to embarrass Thomas. 

Huffing, he grabbed his almond milk from the refrigerator, slipped on his maroon scarf and stomped out the kitchen. He thrust open the front door, yelling a, much too loud, “I’M GOING OUT” to James, and kicking the door shut while he chewed on his granola bar. 

“Fuckin’  _ weather _ ” he mumbled as it began to snow.

*

Okay, he’ll admit, Hamilton had a rather nice house. Nothing compared to his, no, but it was decent. He trudged up the steps, hands in fists at his sides looking like a toddler as he knocked aggressively at the door. 

He shivered to himself, knowing a light pullover did practically nothing for his body, but he truly didn’t care. All he wanted to do was inform Hamilton that he  ~~ missed  ~~ _ expected  _ him at the next meeting. When the door finally opened, he was greeted by John, Alex’s boyfriend, hair a mess and still in pajamas. 

“Jefferson? What…” He yawned dramatically, “What do you want?” John rubbed at his eyes, still tired even though it was  _ one o’clock in the fucking afternoon. _

“Well, as you know by my previous call, I am… conflicted with Hamilton not showing up to the Debate Association for over two weeks.” Jefferson chided, earning an eye roll from John. 

“If I were to say so myself, I’d say you’re  _ worried _ about him.” John smirked as he quirked an eyebrow. “I mean, why  _ else  _ would you be here?” 

Thomas felt his left eye twitch the slightest, cheeks heating up and his grip on his arms from the cold only tightened in annoyance when John’s smug look turned into a full blown smile. 

“Can you just let me the fuck in?”

*   
*

“Uh… why are… I thought… what?” Hercules stared dumbfounded at the southern man, eyeing him suspiciously as he scoffed and turned on his heels. 

“I was simply informing Hamilton,” He said the name like it was toxic, “That our debate session is expecting him to make a commitment and to actually make an effort for  _ once. _ ” Jefferson’s posture became impossibly more confident, while Alex looked bored as hell and John was on the verge of falling asleep still wearing his tank top and grey sweat pants. 

“Well, Jefferson, that’s strange, because last time I recall that _you_ _missed an entire fucking class just so you and James could fuck behind the building.”_ Jefferson suddenly went wide eyed, glasses slightly falling off his face and deep crimson blush arising on his cheeks. 

“I-I.. no… I wouldn’t… Uh I…. How-?” He looked away sheepishly, and ran a hand through his mop of curls, taking a deep breath. “I… yes, _ fine _ , that happened, but it was  _ once. _ You, on the other hand, have taken off weeks.” 

“Now you listen here, you southern macaroni fuck, I’ll have you know that-”

They were silenced at the sound of a door opening and closing upstairs, just by the staircase. Soft footsteps were heard, and suddenly, a sleepy Lafayette emerged from his room. The Frenchman, seeming to not notice Thomas, laid his head against Herc’s shoulder, murmuring soft French to him that made Alex blush. 

“U-uh.. Laf… Maybe you shouldn’t-”Alex started,

“YOU SPEAK FRENCH?!” Jefferson yelled, squealing as he bounded over to the shaken up Frenchman. Laf’s eyes were wide and his grip on Hercules’ shoulder tightened as Thomas suddenly bombarded him with questions. 

“Monsieur… I cannot listen if you are, how you say, flooding me with questions?” Lafayette groaned, rubbing his temples. That temporarily shut Thomas up. 

“O-oh, my apologies, but.. Hey! You look really familiar…” Thomas said as he studied the others face, then snapped his fingers and pointed to the sky as if he had an ‘aha!’ moment. “You’re that dude that made Angelica cry, right?!” 

Lafayette suddenly felt this blood run cold at the mention of…  _ that _ day. Hercules sensed his unease, and rubbed his back, ushering the two of them away, leaving a confused Thomas to stand awkwardly alone while John and Alex snickered behind him. 

“Oh, you two think this is soooo funny, huh?” Jefferson grimaced, blushing and shaking his head, glaring at the two as they chortled and snorted. 

*

“You okay, love?” Hercules asked, placing a gentle hand on Laf’s shoulder. Lafayette nodded, exhaling deeply. 

“I… I do not know what came over me. I just… I…” He shook his head, leaning back into his boyfriend. They stayed like that for awhile, enjoying each other’s presence, until John popped up through the doorway.

**“Hey, uh, sorry to burst in like this but… Jefferson is staying for dinner.” **


	12. Macaroni Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas succs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay head cannon for Laf: He's shorter than herc and Jeff bc he's too pure <333
> 
> OKAY LAST CHAPTER THIS WEEK HIEWH IM NEED TO RELAXXX

Thomas sat directly in front of Lafayette, staring eerily at the other man, making him squirm. It wasn’t like Jefferson spared him a glance or two, no, it was full on  _ staring throughout the whole dinner. _ The only time he stopped was when James would give a rather harsh cough, causing Thomas to immediately to his aid. 

Laf wasn’t sure how he felt about the Southerner. He seemed… stingy… stubborn maybe. He wasn’t really rude to  _ him, _ rather to Alexander. He’d make snarky comments, and roll his eyes at  **everything.** Lafayette felt his patience slowly leave him when Jefferson brought up a rather crude comment concerning a woman named Maria. 

“Heh, I’m surprised you and freckle boy were able to stay together this long, especially after the whole  _ Maria _ crap.” Thomas said smugly, while taking a sip of his water. Lafayette had to fight not to stand up and smack the living daylights out of him because Alex was far too kind and generous to ever deserve this. “How are you and Eliza doin’ by the way? Unless she  _ still _ hasn’t forgiv-”

“ _ That’s enough.” _ Alex said beneath his breath, doing his best not to lose his cool. He took a calming breath, and continued to chat idly with James. 

“So, Lafayette, is it? Mmm… so, how long were you in France for?” Thomas asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“O-oh.. well, I was born there, and, uh, when I was about… three was it? Oui, yes, three years old, we immigrated here.” Lafayette fiddled with his napkin, avoiding Thomas’ gaze. It was when a hand gripped his did his nerves settle. He looked up, and practically melted under Hercules’ gaze. He gave his hand a squeeze, which Laf returned, his stomach ridding of any butterflies. 

“Hmm.. I see. And where did you live for those three years?” Jefferson tested, leaning forward slightly, the corner of his mouth pulled up into a menacing smirk. His hand drummed on the table, as if timing the Frenchman. 

“I uh, I lived in Chavaniac... “ He murmered, which made Jefferson’s eyes widen. He mouth hung agape for a moment, shocked, before closing it and furrowing his brows. 

“Liar.” He muttered, making Hercules snap his head forward and narrow his eyes. His hand now gripped painfully hard onto Laf’s making him squeal. He let go in an instant and gave an apologetic look, then turned his attention back to Jefferson.

“Excuse me?” He said, voice daringly low. Thomas deadpanned, staring at him boredly.

“What? It’s true, is it not? He could  _ never _ live there if he looks like…  _ that.  _ He’s unsuitable for such a place.” He motioned to Lafayette’s figure, making Hercules jump out of his chair, glaring daggars into Thomas. The latter simply rolled his eyes, while James blushed and shrunk into himself.

“Oh? And how  _ exactly _ is he ‘unsuitable?” He growled, hands clenching into fists at his sides. Jefferson caught sight of his threatening stance, and immediately stood up, despite James’ protest. 

“T-thomas… Please  _ sit down.” _ He mumbled, rubbing his runny nose. 

“Not now, Jemmy.” Thomas stood a good few inches taller than Hercules. But, what the other lacked, was muscle. Sure, he was ripped, but Hercules was  _ huge. _ “So, you want to know exactly  _ why _ your friend here is unsuitable? Fine I’ll tell you why. Firstly, just look at hi-”    
  
Thomas never finished that sentence because Hercules suddenly grasped the other’s collar and pulled him down, making him bend awkwardly over the table and knocking a few things out of the way. Hercules was seething, gritting his teeth and eye brows together just so. 

“Herc, stop!” John said, trying to help his friend relax, but was pushed away. John stumbled at the roughness his friend was showing, so Alex tried to calm him down.

“Y-you’re insane!” Jefferson sputtered out, voice wavering in fear. His hands came on top of Herc’s to try and pry them off, but only worsened the grip. “G-get off!” Thomas lunged back, but was pulled forward, and he fell slightly on top of the table, Hercules being the only thing holding him up. 

“Now you listen here, you little southern fuck. You never,  _ never,  _ disrespect Lafayette like that  **ever** again. You understand?” When Jefferson said nothing, Hercules shook his roughly, “ **_Understand?!”_ ** Thomas nodded rapidly, tears beginning to form and one trickling down. Hercules huffed, almost dropped him when Jefferson muttered something under his breath. 

“fuckin’ freak..” He mumbled. 

The night ended with Thomas leaving the house with a bloody nose and Lafayette trying to calm a raging Hercules. 

*

“Mon amour,  _ relax!” _ Laf wailed, rubbing Herc’s arm soothingly. 

“I just…  _ can’t. _ You heard what that macaroni fuck said? How dare he! He’s lucky you said something or he would’ve left with one of those overpriced plates up his  **ass.** ” Hercules mumbled, shaking his head. “Listen, I don’t mean to act rude it’s just…” Lafayette nodded, and placed his arms around the other, nuzzling into the back of his neck. “After… after watching you… look so helpless… I made a promise, Laf! I can’t just let him say that to you and just forget about it! It’s not right!”

“I know, I know. But.. that situation is over now, yes? George will hopefully never bother moi again, oui?” Hercules nodded, and took one of Laf’s hands in his and kissed it softly. Lafayette hummed and gave a light kiss to the other’s neck, giggling when Herc visibly relaxed. 

Hercules suddenly flipped them, Lafayette sitting on the bed, Hercules staring down hungrily at him. He leaned down and gave a soft nip at the Frenchman’s neck, sucking lightly then pulling back with a ‘pop’. 

“I love you…” He murmured, making Laf smile and grab the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. 

“Je t’aime” He said through the other’s mouth, which was quickly swallowed down.

Hercules truly wanted to keep going. Lord, he wanted to just lock the door and fuck Laf until he was a crying mess. But, he couldn’t. He would never,  _ ever _ do that unless the other told him it was okay. He knew Lafayette well enough to know he wouldn’t speak up in fear of upsetting the other. 

His hand trailed down to the Frenchman’s hip, squeezing lightly, making Laf squeak. He was so close, so close to being  _ there, _ but he quickly pulled back, halted their makeout session. 

“L-laf… Laf, I… I can’t…” 

“Hm?” He whispered. Lafayette’s eyes were hazy and half lidded, cheeks a brilliant red and eye lashes so fucking beautiful and  _ oh god he was spread out all for Hercules but he couldn’t touch him and it was frustrating Herc so much all he wanted to do was love this man until he couldn’t think of anyone else but him. _

_ “ _ We.. We can’t do this…” He whispered, pulling back and moving away from Lafayette. 

“O-oh… I… I see..” Lafayette said as he sat up, blush deepening as he looked away sheepishly. “I-I… thank you…” He murmured, looking at Hercules, eyes full of admiration. “I… I wouldn’t have stopped if you didn’t and.. I’m just not…  _ ready.” _ And  _ oh god he was beginning to cry Hercules could see it. _

“Please, don’t cry, love. It’s not your fault.” Herc cooed, taking the other into his lap, and rubbing at his head softly. 

**“I love you too much to care about this.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chill, Hamm, *chill*


	13. ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...

_ The line was silent for a few moments, the only noise being the quiet buzz emitting from the phone. _

“C’mon… pick up the damn phone…” George mumbled to himself. A sudden click got his attention, and he visibly straightened. 

“Hello?” a gruff voice said, making George quiver. 

“Ah, uh, yes, this is  _ Royal _ calling, am I speaking to  _ One Bullet?”  _ George almost laughed at the codename.  _ Almost. _

“Mmm… yes, this is  _ One Bullet _ speaking, what do you need?” The other grumbled. 

“Uh, I was uh, wondering if you could do something for me? I have an extremely important task that needs to be done. I tried once, but some asshole got in the way.” George mumbled, earning a dry laugh from the other end. 

“Heh, I knew you’d be callin’ me. I ain’t shocked. Now, whos the guy, when do ya’ need it done, and for how much?” One Bullet snapped. 

“I need you to  _ take care _ of my ex for me. Get it done before June, yeah? I’ll pay your logical price. This guy ain’t got any security on him, I’m guessing it’ll be cheaper?” 

The line was silent for a few moments…

“June? Damn, that’s in two months. Might not be enough time for me.” the voice bickered. 

“Ah, shit, well I need this  _ done. _ ” George spat. 

“....... I’ll do it. But, on one condition. You gotta pay me extra, an’ ‘m only bringin’  _ one bullet.  _ I ain’t gonna waste no damn bullets on this guy.” He said. 

“Mmm….  _ fine. _ I’ll pay you extra. But  _ get. This. Done. _ ” He grumbled. George was never one for negotiating. 

“I believe you got yourself a deal.” 

**“Pleasure doin’ business with you, Lee.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...


	14. Mother Hamm<33333

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf feels scared.
> 
> John plans.
> 
> Twf: Body image problems and thoughts of self harm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck titles I give up
> 
> AYYEEEEE SNOW DAY!!! NO WORK!!!!!!! n i c e
> 
> Mother Hamm is back with yet another chapter<3
> 
> U MAY REFERENCE ME TO MOTHER HAMM CREDIT TO THE LOVELY RamblingRavenclaw

Lafayette awoke at around 12:30 pm, for whatever reason, he wasn’t sure. Glancing next to him, he was dismayed to see the bed was empty, secretly hoping Herc would still be next to him. Huffing, he jumped out of bed, fixed his ponytail and made his way downstairs. 

When he got to the kitchen, he stopped for a moment because  _ merde if that wasn’t the best thing he’d ever smelled. _ Hercules stood in front of the stove, flipping what Laf assumed were pancakes, humming some made up song. Quietly, Lafayette sauntered forward, and wrapped his arms around the latter’s waist. He chuckled when he felt Hercules jump. 

“G’morning mon cher.” He mumbled, still half asleep. Herc grunted in return, focused on getting the pancakes done rather than his own boyfriend. Lafayette frowned, seeking attention. He stood on his toes and proceeded to kiss softly at Herc’s neck, slowly becoming more sensual. 

“Laf, ‘m tryna make breakfast you baguette.” Hercules grumbled, making Laf huff in frustration. He unwrapped his arms and instead crossed them across his chest, lightly tapping the ground with his foot. If Hercules noticed, he didn’t say anything, simply continued making pancakes. 

In defeat, Lafayette settled on going upstairs to showed, pissed but respectful of Hercules’ mood. Sure, once in awhile he was in a strange mood, but for goodness sake give a guy some attention. Laf lazily turned on the water, undressed, and stepped inside, content with just being alone and enjoying peace. It was nice. Silence was now welcomed, he found an odd sense of calmness when it was quiet. 

Sighing, he grasped the shampoo bottle, and poured a generous amount onto his hand. Laf rubbed his hands together, creating a foamy mess, pulled out his hair and proceeded to lather his head. He hummed softly, swishing his hips and closing his eyes, imagining Hercules massaging his head. 

Herc would gently knead into his curls, then bring his hands down so his finger traced the sides of his face. He’d touch Lafayette’s jawline so tenderly, and probably give it a kiss. He’d move his lips down to his neck and hold him so close. Laf sighed, and brought his hands down over his chest, rubbing over his soft nipples, emitting a gasp.

It was when he got to his stomach did he stop. The slight indent from the scar left by…  _ him _ would forever be there. Wounds heal, scars do not. When he moved his hands lower, his eyes widened. There was a lot more… chub on his belly than he remembered. 

Laf directed his gaze downward, looking at his slightly chubby waist. His hands bripped the sides, pinching. He winced when he could grip finger fulls of fat, knowiing he had gained weight. 

_ I’m so fat… _

His eyes drooped, shoulders slouching forward. That must be why Hercules didn’t want ot look at Laf this morning.  _ He was too fat. _

Fat. That word. That simple three lettered word is what started  _ everything. _ It was small things at first, George telling Laf to slow down, to eat less. 

It got progressively worse. 

He’d yell at Lafayette. Take away his dish when in reality he’d only taken a few bites. Laf would sit in shock, still hungry. 

The Frenchman shivered, hands gripping so firmly on his stomach that he felt bruises form. He looked down, and  _ gagged. _ Oh, god, he gagged. He felt sick. He felt disgusting. 

_ George was doing it for you. _

No! No… Lafayette hated George!

_ This is all your fault. You should’ve stayed. _

Lafayette felt his knees give out, and h quickly turned off the shower, holding onto the wall for support.

_ Now look at you. You’re revolting. _

He fell to his knees, silent tear trailing down his face. He sat on his legs, head up against the wall and shoulders shaking as a sob escaped him.

_ You deserved everything George ever did to you. _

Laf shook his head, and head the sides of his head, gripping harshly at his head.  _ God make it stop _

_ You don’t deserve any of this. _

“P-please….” He murmured, hands trembling as he brought them down and stared at his palms. Looking up, searching for some kind of relief, he spotted up. 

_ Use the razor. You deserve to h u r t. _

He gripped the cold metal, shakily bringing it to his arm, closing his eyes and sniffiling, letting out another choked sob. The blades pressed to his skin, begging him to swi-

“Laf!” The Frenchman jumped and dropped the razor to the floor, looking up frantically. His  _ fat _ stomach twisted in shame as he locked eyes with his boyfriend.

There stood Hercules, frightened as ever. Lafayette readjusted himself, so he leaned his back on the cold shower wall. He pulled his knees to his chest, resting his head between them, letting out soft sobs. 

_ You’re covering your fat stomach from him. You know he’ll never love you because you’re so fat. _

“Oh, o-oh god Laf are you alright?” Hercules scrambled to open the shower door, crouching and inspecting Lafayette’s body for any harm. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw nothing. “Babe, please, you gotta talk to me.” He reached how to touch his boyfriend, but the latter flinched away. 

Sighing, he leaned forward, and placed a kiss on his temple. Herc placed another on his forehead, and one on the Frenchman’s jawline. A tender hand snaked up and caupped his face, thumb rubbing in circles. Hercules’ other hand reached up and wiped away a few stray tears.

“That’s it… nice and easy.” He said, coaxing Laf out of whatever haze he was in. “There’s my love.” Herc gave a kiss to his nose, and placed their foreheads together. 

“H-Hercules…” Laf muttered hoarsely, long lashes enclosing his chestnut eyes. “I am… I…” A sob escaped his lips, and he turned away from Herc’s hand when another tear rolled down his face. 

“What’s up, baby? Please, look at me…” He said softly, urging Laf to look back.  

“I am  _ fat.” _

“Oh, oh no… Lafayette, you’re not-”

“I  _ am. _ ” Laf muttered before breaking out into more choked off whimpers.

“Gee, Laf, please don’t think like that.” Hercules whispered. 

“Are you two okay in there?” A voice made Lafayette jumped and shrink in on himself, pushing impossibly closer to the wall. “-oh… shit.” 

“John, I, uh…” Hercules spared a glance to his shaking boyfriend before standing and going to the freckled man. “I… I don’t know what happened.” he whispered. “I walked in, and he…” Hercules looked away, wiping away a silent tear that escaped past his eye. 

“C-could I talk to him?” John said smoothly. Herc nodded, and looked away. He couldn’t stand seeing Laf in this state. John dropped to his knees, and cautiously made his way over to the spooked Frenchman.

“Hey, Laffy, you there?” Laf gave a short nod, John taking shaky hands in warm ones, and immedietly frowned. “He’s cold. Herc, can you grab me a towel?” Hercules said nothing but went to get one, and quickly handed it to John, who wrapped Lafayette securely and rubbed the other’s shoulders a few times to warm him up. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” John murmured quietly, while Laf stared at him, unmoving and wide eyed. “Shit.. this is worse than I thought.” John stood, and ran out of the room for a moment, leaving Herc alone with his partner.

He stepped inside the shower and sat next to Laf, wrapped an arm around the other and laid his head on his lap. Hercules tenderly stroked Laf’s hair, massaging it once in awhile to help the other relax, when John and Alex returned. 

“Holy shit,” Alex started, and jumped to the floor, and inspected the trembling man. “Laf? Vous êtes bien?” Lafayette shook his head firmly, silent tears rolling down his face. “Okay, juste respirer. Se détendre s’il vous plaît.” The Frenchman took a deep breath, eyes slightly more focused than before. “Oui, oui, voilà. Pouvez-vous me dire ce qui s’est passé?” 

“J-j’ai... Je prenais une douche... et soudain, je me sentais comme si j’étais malade.” Alex frowned at Laf’s words, and shook his head. 

“He says he was taking a shower, and he suddenly felt sick. Quoi d’autre est arrivé, mon cher?” 

“J’ai f-feutre...  _ mains _ . Tout sur moi. Mains de  _ G-George _ .” Lafayette’s voice cracked slightly at the end, cut off by a strong sob. 

“He felt like George was t-touching him…” Alex’s voice wavered, and gently shushed the babbling Frenchman lightly. “Shhh... C'est bon. Inutile de dire quoi que ce soit d’autre.” He whispered, and rubbed Laf’s arm comfortingly. “C'est bon... On est là.”

“Merci, mes amies.” Laf whispered hoarsley.

*

*

“We should do something special for Laf.” John announced when they had put the frightened Frenchman to bed. Both Herc and Alex nodded in agreement. “But like, not cheesy special. Just… special.” 

“LAZER TAG!” Alex yelled enthusiastically, earning an eye roll from Hercules. 

“First of all, be quiet. Second of all,  _ no. _ ” Herc chided, to which Alex whined at.

“Come  _ on. _ It’ll be awesome!” Alex made finger guns at an unamused John, who simply crossed his arms.

“ _ No. _ Don’t you remember what happened when you lost to Thomas?” 

“Oh come on. It’s Jefferson for crying out loud. He deserved it.” 

“He did nothing wrong, actually. You just were pisse that you lost to him.” John sneered, yelping when Alex tackled him to the ground. “H-Hey!” Was cut off when Alex kissed him playfully, leaving Herc to deadpan at the two.

“You two are so cute together it’s disgusting.” He said, shaking his head and pulling the two off each other. “Now, when were you thinking of having this special occasion?” That comment seemed to perk John up. 

“Uh, on the day I met him, of course! DUH.” It was Alex’s turn to roll his eyes. “Two months. That gives us plenty of time, yeah?” Everyone nodded in agreement. 

**“Two months it is, then.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Months


	15. Baise moi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a total filler chapter sorry
> 
>  
> 
> bUT! I need u guys to take this poll for me so I can see what ur preferences are for this story!1 The link is here; https://goo.gl/ga4pNe
> 
> just copy and paste it plz
> 
> guess who spilled honey over their laptop?! M E 
> 
> the tea was worth it tho
> 
> IF ANY OF U WRITE ME A MULLETTE FIC I WILL PERSONALLY LOVE U FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

The day was spent with Lafayette curled up against Hercules, nursing a cup of tea and listening to music through headphones. He would begin to cry silently when a particulary sad song came on, and instead of changing it, he just let the tears fall out. 

He cried not-so-silently when the song Goner began playing. Damn Tyler and his buttery voice. It got so bad in fact, that Hercules had to pause the cooking show he was watching and rip out one of Laf’s headphones, bombarding the shocked boy. Once Laf was out of his daze, he lunged out for the headphone and shoved it back in his ear, before snuggling up against his boyfriend once more and closing his eyes. 

How did things become like this? It seemed like instead of moving forward, they took one big jump back. Lafayette was  _ so close _ to recovering. To feeling like he was a regular man, and had not been abused most of his life. 

But, unfortunately, the damage had been done. Laf was permanently scarred, and there was nothing Hercules could do about it. He felt his heart break and a tear escape through his eyelashes the more he thought about it. This harmless sweet man had been put through so much. He didn’t deserve any of it. And yet here he was. 

Hercules wrapped an arm around the half asleep Frenchman, rubbing his shoulder gently, and smiled as he felt the other melt in his embrace. He saw Laf  _ smile. _ A genuine one, too. He hadn’t seen a real one in a long, long time. 

He truly missed the way Laf smiled. How his eyes crinkled at the corners, and his nose scrunched up in the most adorable way possibly. The way his eyelashes overlapped and created the most mesmerizing cascading effect, and his cheeks when he became flustered. Everything about this poor man seemed so perfect to Hercules. And, to his astonishment, he found that he loved him. He loved Lafayette so, so much. 

Right then and there was the moment he vowed to protect the Frenchman. He promised himself that nothing will ever happen to him as long as he’s alive. He refuses to let anyone harm him. He even shocked himself when he realized he’d die for Laf. Anything it took to keep him safe. 

*

*

“Thai food?” Laf questioned, looking at his boyfriend curiously, then flickering his gaze to the other pair who sat across from him. “I-I’ve never… had T-Thai food.” 

That was another thing Herc noticed. Lafayette’s stutter was back. It wasn’t quite as frequent, but it was still back. 

“”Trust me, you’ll love it.” John said enthusiastically, pouring himself a bowl of shrimp pho, before dousing his food in siracha sauce. Laf held back a giggle when Alex gagged at the sight of his boyfriend’s bowl. Hercules smirked at the two, grabbing his own meal and digging in. 

Lafayette slowly went to pick up his own entrée, looking down at the thick noodles doused in chicken, shrimp, and whatever else was hidden beneath the generous coating of sauce. Sure, he felt his stomach growl at the sight and oh boy did it smell good, but something wouldn’t let him eat.

Something was stopping him from moving his arm and taking a bite, instead playing absent mindedly with a piece of shrimp. Obviously, Hercules noticed, and offered him a bite of his own food, to which Lafayette politely answered with no. 

“C’mon, you’ll like it. I promise.” And  _ then _ , unfortunately for Laf, Herc made that face with the puppy-dog eyes. The face when his eyes would droop at the bottom, his eyebrows with pull together ever so slightly and _ fuck _ the way his lip gave a soft pout made Laf’s heart melt. 

With a defeated sigh, he excepted the forkful of food, opening his mouth lazily and accepting the noodles. 

And of  _ course _ it tasted like heaven. In fact, Hercules swore he heard a moan emit from his boyfriend’s mouth. 

“Taste yours.” Hercules instructed rather than offer. Lafayette huffed and began eating with shocking ease. He blushed when he felt Herc’s soft eyes on him, and fidgeted awkwardly. Sensing his nervousness, Hercules turned and sparked up a conversation with John, talking about god knows what.

*

*

“Put on Chopped.” Hercules said, earning a groan from John.

“I swear if I see one more episode of the show I’m going to throw up.” John muttered, and to his relief, Alex agreed.

“Not to sound rude Herc, but that show is ruining my fucking life.” 

“ _ Fine. _ Just put on something I don’t care anymore.” Hercules said, wrapping his arm around Lafayette’s waist and pulling him close. He smiled when Laf rested his head on his chest, murmuring soft French and snuggling closer. 

“Je t’aime.” He said sleepily, before yawning softly. Herc’s heart broke because  _ holy shit,  _ Laf was adorable when he yawned. His eyes closed, lashes layering beautifully, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes watering slightly. He rested his head back onto his side weakly. Herc felt the other’s body turn to pudding when he began petting his head.

“Get some sleep, love. You need it.” 

*

*

They ended up watching Up, while Laf snoozed on top of Hercules. By the time the movie was over, the Frenchman lay limp on top of Herc’s body, legs straddling him and head resting between Herc’s neck and shoulders.

“Fuck I always cry when Ellie dies.” Alex muttered, wiping rapidly at his eyes even though the scene happened much earlier in the movie. “It’s not fair. She had such a tough life and she just  _ dies.” _

“I know babe, I know.” John wrapped an arm around Alex, holding his close, while Hercules worked to get his own boyfriend off his body. Laf muttered inaudible French as he escaped his clutches, then picked him up bridal style. 

“‘Erculeeess” Laf mumbled, making John snort. “Baise-moi sur la table.” Alex choked on the bottle of water he was sipping and turned to stare at the half asleep Laf. John looked at his quizzically when Alex’s face turned a bright crimson, head in his hands.

“What’d he say?” John asked, making Alex shake his head.

“Dirty things. Dirty, dirty things.” He muttered. “Excuse me while I bleach my ears.” 

*

*

“Babe, you gotta let go.” Hercules murmured. Lafayette clung to his shirt like a koala, hands tightly wound in the fabric.

“Non. You must sleep with me.” He answered, grip becoming impossibly tighter. “S’il vous plait?” He said softly, making Herc groan playfully. 

“ _ Laaaaaf.”  _ He said, and chuckled when Lafayette buried his face deeply into his chest. “Ugh, fine. You win.” Laf squealed softly, letting up his grip and jumping back on the bed, making room for his drowsy boyfriend. 

Herc slid beside the Frenchman, who instantly latched back onto him, his smile reaching the stars, cheeks slightly dusted with crimson. 

“Goodnight, my love.” Hercules said, before falling into a blissful sleep.


	16. crack chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the group go through stupid shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Landscape of Africa*
> 
> And to the right, you can see the Mother Hamm in her natural habitat!
> 
> *Cue me sitting in the corner, laptop in hand. To the left of me is a plate of chicken nuggets, to the right a gigantic bottle of honey and teapot. Then, my hands shaking from lack of sleep and tea cup in hand, a forced smile of my face. My hair in an (EXTREMELY) messy bun, about to fall out.*
> 
> 'OOOOOOOOoooooooooh! Ahhhh!!'
> 
>  
> 
> OKAYA COUPLE THINGS;  
> 1\. I'm sleep deprived bc of too much caffine (from the tea)  
> 2\. This is most likely the only chapter I'll be posting this week and week end bc I am going to Quebec for five days and will be back on like Thursday idk  
> 3\. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE ME MULLETTE FICS KUDOS TO U GUYS!!  
> 4\. Ketchup is my fetish  
> 5\. This is a total crac k chapter

It was four in the morning. Four fucking am, and there the four sat around the table, songs playing on shuffle from Alex’s iPhone. Although the April air was slightly warmer, it still caused the house to have refrigerator-like temperatures. And so, there sat the four of them; Hercules sitting with a hand knit blanket over his body, John in a sweatshirt and Alex and Laf huddled beneath a bedsheet.

“Okay, it’s cold, but not  _ that _ cold.” John said, making Alex roll his eyes.

“Oh please, you’re just saying that because you’re used to it.” Alex sneered, throwing one of his cards at John. 

“Uh, excuse me but it’s not my fault someone stayed inside their room for the  _ entire  _ winter break.” John mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and dropping his pile onto the table. “What’s this game, anyway? It seems like an overrated ‘would you rather’.” 

“Pfft, yeah right. This game here is the shit.” Herc said proudly. “It’s basically when you ask the table a question about themselves, everyone has to answer truthfully, and whoever’s answer is the best wins.”

“THAT’S LITERALLY TRUTH OR DARE.” John groaned, throwing his head back obnoxiously. His eyes snapped open dangerously when Alex snorted a quiet, ‘baby’. 

“Except it’s literally  _ not. _ ” Hercules said unamused. He rolled his eyes when John started flicking at Alex’s ear, making him whine while Laurens simply snickered. “ _ Anyway,  _ I’ll go first, since you two are too immature to actually listen to anything.” He grumbled, picking out a card from his deck and reading over it, smirking. “If you could eat anything for your last meal, what would it be?” 

“That’s stupid.” John mumbled, and yelped when Alex tugged on his ponytail. “Hey, no fair!” He exclaimed, reaching out for the other’s hair when Herc slammed his hand on the table, making all three of them jump. 

“That’s  _ enough. _ ” Hercules warned, voice filled with venom. “Now, if you don’t fucking get your act together, I’ll invite James over.” He said, smirking, making Alex’s eyes go wide. 

  
“You wouldn’t  _ dare…” _

“Heh, oh hell yes I would. And you know who he’d bring with him?” Herc’s expression becoming smug, “ _ Jefferson~” _

“OKAY! OKAY! WE’LL PLAY! God, you don’t need to scare me like that!” Alex said, an actual shiver shooting up his spine.

“Good. Now, answer the question.” Herc instructed, looking towards John first. 

“Well.. If I got to choose a last meal, I’d probably choose pizza.” He said, making Alex groan and roll his eyes.

“What kind of basic shit is that?” He said, earning a pinch from John and a glare form Hercules. Sighing, the Irishman turned to his boyfriend.

“What about you, babe?” He said, taking the other’s hand in his, giving a soft squeeze.

“Hmm… My last meal… would be… Gratin Dauphinois de Solange.” He said proudly, making John cock his head questionably. Sighing, Laf began to explain. “Gratin Dauphinois de Solange is a French dish with thinly sliced potatoes with a cheese sauce and garlic.” He explained.

“So cheesy potatoes?” John said matter- of-factly, making Lafayette deadpan.

“Sure. Your greasy American cheesy potatoes.” He mumbled. John didn’t seem to notice, and instead boasted silently to his boyfriend. 

“Is it my turn? Good.” Alex said immediately. “If  _ I  _ got to eat a last meal, I’d have callaloo, which is an authentic Caribbean dish that my mom used to make, which has much sentimental value to it. Unlike  _ some people,  _ I put some thought into my choice.” He sneered.

“That’s not fair! I didn’t get to explain mine!” John complained. Herc shook his head and sighed in defeat, motioning to John to get on with it. He smirked and proceeded to explain. “You see, pizza is extremely important to me because I used to eat it all the time in college, and I remember tha-”

“You like pizza because it was the first thing you ate after kissing Theodosia Prevost at Madison’s stupid party.” Alex snapped back, all too pleased with himself. His smile instantly dropped and contorted into a look of pain when John roughly yanked his ponytail, sending his backwards and out of the chair.

  
“John!” Lafayette gasped, jumping out of his chair and helping his friend up. “Relax! He was only kidding!”

  
“Oh, of  _ course _ I’m the bad guy.” John growled, voice dangerously low. Hercules sensed his rage, and instantly stepped in front of the other two boys.

“Nobody said you were anything, Johnny. Take a deep breath for me, okay?” Hercules cooed. He placed a tender hand on the freckled boy’s shoulder, but John shrugged it off.

“No! I won’t! Not until Alex tells me exactly what he was doing with Maria Reynolds yesterday behind the coffee shop!” John shouted, anger boiling over and red in the face. His hands trembled, Hercules knowing exactly what to do. To Laf and Alex’s horror, Herc brought one of his massive hands back, shooting it back down and bringing a sharp slap to John’s red shaking face. 

For a moment, everyone was silent, John’s eyes going wide, face still in the direction Herc had smacked him, the sound still resonating in the air. And, finally, after the most horrifying moments, Laf broke the silence.

“Hercules Mulligan!” Lafayette yelled, leaving Alex and marching up to his boyfriend, hands on his hips and brow furrowed. “I truly hope you did not just do that!” Herc turned to face the peeved Frenchman, and simply chuckled, John, shockingly, soon joining. 

“Th-thanks, Herc… I, uh… I got kinda carried away there, yeah?” Hercules nodded, and John sighed, running a hand through his hair, and shaking his head. “S-sorry.. I just… god, Alex, I shoulda talked to you first before acting like an ass.” It was now Alex’s turn to be surprised, mouth agape, but forming no words. After a moment, he compelled himself and spoke.

“I, uh… she was talking to me about her boyfriend.” He mumbled, looking to the side. “She tried to get me to uh, y’know,”

“Fuck?” Hercules helped, Alex nodding.

“Y-yeah. But, obviously I refused.” John let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and smiled sadly.

“God, babe, I’m so sorry.” He said quietly, walking over to Alex and embracing him in a tight hug. Alex relaxed, and returned the hug, nuzzling into the other. 

“It’s okay..”

*

“How bout we just skip the game and do a good old fashion Truth or Dare?” John offered, everyone nodding. “Cool. I’ll go first. Hercules, truth or dare?” He asked.

“Hmm… Dare.” He answered, smiling the slightest.

“Heh… I dare you to kiss Laf.” John said with a shit eating grin. 

“Easy-”

“For an entire minute.” 

Well that sure as hell got Herc’s attention.

“Oh, come on.” He mumbled. Turning to face a now flustered  Laf, he the other’s hands in his, and gave a firm squeeze. Leaning in, Lafayette blushed, but followed along, connecting their lips softly. Alex whistled, while John cackled.

“A-alright, I’ll start the timer.” He said, turning on his phone, clock now reading 6:03. The timer started, and it was taking all of Herc’s might to not deepen the kiss. But, given how Laf was trembling slightly, thought better of it, just a simple lip-to-lip action.

“Okay, tough guy, truth or dare?” Alex asked John, who rolled his eyes in return. 

“Dare,  _ duh.” _ He said playfully. Alex’s expression became smug, as John started fearing for his life.

“I dare you to prank call Jefferson.” Alex said, once again pleased with himself. John giggled, more than happy to go through with his plan. He had Thomas’ number dialed when the timer beeped, Herc and Lafayette disconnecting, both flushed. Laf forced in breaths, Hercules tending to his boyfriend, as John pressed call. 

_ Ring.. _

_ Ring… _

_ Ring… _

“Hello?” A tired voice answered, clearly just waking up. Alex kept down a laugh, even if John hadn’t said anything.

“Hey sexy~” John said in a seductive voice,(as seductive it could get at least), Alex practically about to explode in laughter. “I had a great night last night.”

The group could hear shuffling in the background, and a sleepy James Madison could just barely be heard.

“Babe, who is that?” He asked.

“Uh, I-I don-”

“Tommy, don’t keep me waiting~” John said, almost breaking character Alex fell off his chair onto the floor and Lafayette’s face the color of a tomato. 

“U-um..”

“Who is this?!” James said to the phone.

“It’s Cinnamon from the club last night, remember Tommy? Ugh, your ass felt great.”  John could hear embarrassed stuttering from the other side of the phone, and a sudden thud indicated that James had dropped the phone on the bed.

“-OU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO A BUSINESS MEETING! WHERE WERE YOU?!” They could all hear as Jefferson protested, just as John quickly hung up and burst out laughing, the other three joining. 

“H-Holy  _ Shit! _ ” Herc managed to get out. “James totally fell for it!”

“BEST! NIGHT! EVERRRR!” Alex yelled, before grapping a couch cushion and slamming it into Laf’s face, beginning a full blown pillow fight

*

*

*

“Okay, here’s my plan.” John said quietly as Alex and Herc gathered around the table. He whispered to them where they’d be going, setting the date for June, in exactly two months.

“This is going to be  _ perfect! _ ” Hercules said quietly, Alex smiling with excitement.

 

"Holy shit I'm excited." Alex squealed.

 

**_Little did they know…._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....


	17. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the four take a short trip to the park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I lied here I am with another filler(ish) chapter.
> 
> THis chap is gonna hold a lot of significance in the long run, just you wAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIT
> 
> lol anyway I'm going to Quebec tomorrow wish me luck ;)))))))))))))))

“C’mooonnn” Hercules wailed, tugging at his boyfriend’s sleeves. “It’s  _ finally _ warm!” Lafayette groaned, sinking further into the couch. He rested a hand on his forehead exageratedly.

“But it’s cloudy. We cannot go outside if there is no sunshine!” Laf said, cause Herc to snort. 

“Oh please, you’re just saying that because you’re being stubborn.” The taller one said. He huffed and hoisted Lafayette up into his arms, holding him princess style while the Frenchman gave off a weak yelp.

“H-Herc!” Laf squeaked, holding onto his boyfriend’s shoulders tightly. Herc chuckled, patting the other’s curls. It was at that moment, John decided to join the duo.

“GET READY FOR THE FIRST DAY OF MAY!” John yelled, wearing shorts and a tanktop, while Alex lazily followed him. A small smirk played on his face. “Holy shit I love May so much.” John said, grabbing his sunglasses off the table.

“Johnathan Laurens, what in the world are you wearing?” Herc chided, raising an eyebrow. Laf chuckled in his arms, resting his head on the other’s chest.

“Uh, it’s actually decently warm for once? Why wouldn’t I wear this?” Herc rolled his eyes, kicking open the door. He placed Laf gently in the passenger seat, while he started the car. Alex and John sat in the backseat, chatting endlessly about spring.”

“What’s the big deal with May, anyway?” Lafayette asked, folding his arms over his chest as he stared up at the sky. “It is just slightly warmer, non?”

“Heh, tell him the story, Alex.” John said, eyeing his boyfriend smugly. Alex simply rolled his eyes, a frown spread across his face.

“Oh, please. It was not my fault I accidently kissed Jefferson.” Laf’s eyes widened and he turned to face the shorter man, mouth agape in shock.

“You did  _ WHAT?!”  _ The Frenchman shouted, making Hercules laugh as he drove along the road. “Please tell me I heard that wrong.”

“Nope! Alex here got himself a little tipsy-”

“ _ No. _ That is not what happened, Jonathan.” He mumbled as John elbowed him.

“First off, that’s not my name. Secondly, you kissed Jefferson fair and square while you wer eintoxicated. No use lying to me, babe.” Alex simply shook his head as he deadpanned.

“Whatever.”

*   
*

John and Lafayette sat underneath a weeping willow tree as both their boyfriends ordered the four of them lunch. For the first time, Lafayette was shocked that John was actually being quiet for once. And, to him, something was up.

“What is the matter, mon ami?” Laf asked, making John turn his head slightly. “You seem to be thinking about something.” John’s slight frown pulled up into a lazy smile as he regarded the taller one.

“Oh, uh, n-nothing. Just thinkin’” He murmured. Lafayette raised an eyebrow.

“About?” John let out a sigh, lip pulling down into a pout.

“Just my dad, and uh, how he took us to this park all the time when we were younger.” He mumbled as Laf cocked his head. He placed a gentle hand atop of John’s, rubbing softly, urging him to continue. Laurens got the message, and resumed speaking. “When I was a little kid, I’d always play in the flowers. I don’t really know why, but something about them just… spoke to me.” He said, eyes lighting up on emphasis.

  
“Instead of playing soccer or digging up worms like all the other boys, I’d just sit in the flower beds and try to make crowns out of the pansies. Preferably the purples ones.” When Laf gave off a short snort, John continued. “Sometimes, I’d come real close to making one. But… the other kids, they’d uh… they’d break everything I made. Smashed it, ripped it. One time, they forced me to eat one of the flowers on it.” John said with a sad sigh, closing his eyes, and shaking his head. 

“My dad was the worst about it. He’d yell at me, tell me I’m not the son he’d wanted me to be, all over fucking  _ flowers! _ It was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. It was when I began taking interest in boys did I truly grow worried. If my dad ever found out, heh, I wouldn’t hear the last of it.” He opened his eyes once more, looking up to the sky. “I vowed to become the what you’d call ‘manliest’ perosn you’d ever meet. And, in all honesty, I did. No one suspected anything. And yet, here I am. Dating the cutest dork in the world.” Lafayette took a few moments to think about all the information jsut given to him. How utterly miserable John must have been. 

“Did… did you ever get to wear a flower crown?” Laf asked softly, making John laugh out loud, shaking his head.

“Nah. Never learned how to do it the right way. I bet if I tried now it’d look like a mess.” He said, eyes drifting to a small patch of dandilions. “But, I still kinda want to learn how.” He said in a small voice, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks.

“I’ll teach you!” Laf said happily, looking at him, eyes wide and excited. “I used to make them all the time when I was younger! The best part is, pansies are the perfect flower to use!” He said, taking John’s hands in his and giving them a squeeze. “Oh! We should go right now! How fun this will be!” John chuckled at his friend’s enthusiasm, eyes half lidded as he watched Laf bounce up and down.

“Laf, relax! We should do it another day. Alex and Herc are probably gonna be here soon!” John said, smile still plastered on his face. “Besides, it looks like it’s gonna rain soon anyways. We can’t start then not finish.” Lafayette nodded, agreeing sadly. It was when a raindrop hit the center of his head did he look up.

“Merde.” He whispered, the clouds dark and heavy above them. “Where in the world is Herc and Alex? I cannot get my hair wet!” Lafayette jumped up, searching frantically for any sign of the two. John stood as well, looking around, growing anxious. 

“Guys! C’mon!” Voices from behind him cause Laf to whip his hair around, to find Hercules and Alex in the car, signaling for them to hurry up. “It’s gonna rain!”

“John, let’s go!” Laf said, turning towards his friend, who was staring nervously at the sky. “Merde…” Lafayette scrambled to pick the other up, flinging him across his arms and sprinting to the car, Alex opening the door for him. “I do not think John likes storms very much…” The Frenchman said worriedly. 

“John?Johnny? Babe, you there?” Alex’s hand on John’s made the latter jump, looking around frantically, relaxig when he saw where he was. “You okay?”   
  


“Yeah, yeah. Just spaced out for a second, that’s all.” John shook his head, easing into Laf’s lap.

“God, I can’t believe I wasted the first warm day on fucking tacos!” Hercules groaned, anger radiating from his direction. “That guy took way too long!”

  
“Well it would’ve gone quicker if you hadn’t asked for guacamole!” Alex sneered.

“YOU CAN’T EAT TACOS WITHOUT CHIPS AND GUAC! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!”

 

**_But not everyone knew what was coming next month..._ **


	18. 7 Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You simply must meet;;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGH QUEBEC WAS FUUUNN
> 
> but the bus ride sucked. worst thing e ve r.
> 
> but srsly it was actually kinda hot, especially for Quebec. I went on a toboggan, practically squeezed my friend to death, almost fell off the tube thing while tubing on a 100 foot mountain, went air bourn while dog sledding bc my friend is a nUT, and ate poutine. 
> 
> if there are strange spacing errors, its bc my space bar is broken bc I splilled honey on it whoopes.
> 
> I HAVE A TUMBLR NOW ITS; ham-is-gr8 
> 
> I probably wont use it much but we'll see
> 
> short but exTREMELY IMPORTANT chapter

“Mr. Washington, I am here to tell you that I won’t be in for the debate meeting next week.” George raised an eyebrow at Alex, making the shorter man squirm. “I uh, I have an important event that will be ensuing that day.”

“And that event would be-?” George asked.

“The anniversary f-for my close friend. We… we met him on the 20th.” Hamilton gave an uneasy smile, eyes casting for any sort of emotion, when Jefferson decided to speak up from the other side of the room.

“Sounds like a load of BS to me.” He sneered, making Alex turn to glare at him, and Washington to hush him. 

“Listen, son. I have no problem with this. In fact, I would truly love to hear your plan for your friend? Is it a surprise?” He asked. Alex visibly brightened, taking a seat beside George, and filling him in. Jefferson eavesdropped unnoticed, listening to the entire plan of what stupid shenanigans the group would go through, all until the end when Alex was practically out of breath.                 

Washington nodded along, assuring Alex that it was alright to miss a day, since everyone has to at least once. Thomas rolled his eyes, and stomped out of office, clearly peeved that Alex was in fact, George’s favorite debater.

*

*

“I just don’t get it, Jemmy! All throughout the making of this debate group,  _ I’ve  _ been the one who stuck by George’s side. Alex literally just jumped in, and suddenly I was nothing to George!” Thomas complained, cheeks blown and arms crossed like he was a five year old.

“Clearly, you’re not nothing if you are George’s organizer. You’re the one who sets up meetings, competitions, and you’ve won plenty of medals and credit for Washington. If you truly were nothing to him, you wouldn’t be seated next to him in his office. You know him, he takes these things beyond seriously. These simple ‘debate contests’ have won him thousands. I don’t think he’d just let you have such responsibilities if you were of no value.” James said. 

Sighing, Jefferson knew he was right. It seemed there was something about Alex that made him feel… jealous. As if he  _ had _ to get in his business, and that it would be uncharacteristic of him to let him do what he wanted without a few good mocking comments. 

And yet, he found himself thinking of the man all the time. Figuring out a way to annoy him, to make him miserable. And, sure, it wasn’t very kind of Thomas to do so… it was just…

He gave a sad sigh, shaking his head as he dressed for bed. James was downstairs, probably waiting for him, but Thomas felt so emotionally drained that he was unsure he could watch their tv show together. It wasn’t that he was hormonal, rather it was because he was beyond confused. Or, it was the simple fact…

That he was quite lonely.

*

“Jemmy, love, I’m heading to bed.” Thomas said sleepily, trudging over to the couch and giving his boyfriend a soft peck to the lips. Madison held Thomas’ head still for a few moments longer, giving a soft pleased hum. The two detached and were left panting lightly, pressing forehead together, before Jefferson went into their room to presumably sleep. 

“Hello?” He said quietly. “This is Thomas Jefferson speaking. Would you like to book a room, request a-”

“I need something from you.”

**Silence.**

“What?” He asked.

“I  **need** something from you.” The voice answered, sending a shiver down his spine. 

“I-I… I’m n-not sure what you mean.” Thomas spoke shakily, hands trembling slightly, thinking he should go to James, when the unknown person spoke again. 

“You have information. You give it to me, and you won’t get hurt.” Thomas swallowed thickly, nodding to no one in particular, and taking a deep breath. 

“O-okay” He cursed inwardly at how small his voice sounded.

“Do you or do you not know the man Alexander Hamilton.”

“I-I… I d-do” Jefferson was now truly terrified. Not for himself, but for his friend. 

“Where will he be on June 20th, next week.”

“I’m not sure I-”

“ ** _Answer me!”_** The voice yelled

I’ll t-tell you.. Just..  _ please   _ don’t hurt me or my family.” Thomas cringed when he let out a soft sob, for reasons unknown. He shouldn’t care about Hamilton… and yet here he was, terrified he may be helping his murderer.

It was a long, long night of wavering voices, and betrayals enacted. Thomas almost broke down multiple times when the person asked his intelligence, height, and even went as far to ask about his other friend’s too. By the end of it all, he was shocked he wasn’t bawling his eyes out.

“If you tell anyone of what you talked about tonight, I  _ will _ find you, and I _ will _ kill you.”

*

*

*

*

“One more week, you guys!” John said happily, sitting on the counter as Herc prepared dinner(Chicken nuggets). “This is gonna be awesome.” He squealed. 

“Calm down, babe. Not so loud.” Alex said, bringing a kiss to the freckled man’s temple. “Not until tonight, that is~”

And audible gag came from Hercules’ mouth.

“Oh. My. God.  _ My good Christian ears!”  _ He yelled, bringing his hands up over his ears. “Don’t ruin me with your gross mushy shit!” He groaned.

“Well  _ excuse me. _ We were having a moment.” Alex mumbled, John shaking his head with a coy smile on his face. 

“Remember guys, do it for Laf.” John sang.

**_One. More. Week._ **


	19. There are moments when the words don't reach...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew this was coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning in the beginning ;)
> 
> fml I wrote 9 fucking pages in one night kill me now.
> 
> enjoy :')

Soft sunlight filtered into room, casting along a sound asleep Lafayette. The man lay comfortably, curled in on himself while his boyfriend had an arm slung around his thinner waist. The two’s breaths were in sync, as if their love had mentally connected them somehow. Suddenly, Hercules shifted onto his right side, bringing Laf with him.

A flustered Frenchman yelped softly, now buried beneath an unconscious Irish man who seemed oblivious to the fact that he was slowly suffocating his boyfriend. Lafayette attempted to pull one of Herc’s arm away from his face, but only succeeded in making the other squeeze tighter. Huffing, Laf squirmed and kicked as much as he could, trying to yell but his mouth was covered by Hercule’s strong chest.

Knowing he had one last shot at waking the other up without physically hurting him, Lafayette managed to create very little space between Herc and his lower body. A blush crept up on his face with what he was about to do since they hadn’t done anything ‘sexual’, the most being very soft dry humping. 

His small hand traced along Herc’s body, urging him to wake up, but found it didn’t affect him at all. Instead, Herc’s own hand moved down and, sweet jesus, was now placed on Lafayette’s ass. He yelped when his boyfriend squeezed, making what he was about to do even more uncomfortable. 

He brought his hand down, down, down, until..

_ Oh… _

There was a slight bulge beneath his fingers, and in all honesty he didn’t mind. Instead of cringing like he initially thought he’d do, he found himself wanting to touch  _ more. _ But, unfortunately for him, Herc was asleep, giving him no option but to take what was given to him. He cupped his hand around Herc’s clothed dick, biting his lip because  _ holy shit his hand didn’t cover it all. _

When Lafayette rubbed lightly, he felt Herc jerk slightly next to him, but still didn’t relent with squeezing his face into his chest. Lafayette continued his ministrations, hoping to coax him out of his slumber without this getting too out of hand and doing something rather dirty while the other was still asleep. 

Instead, he rubbed slower, causing a moan to escape Hercules’ lips. Lafayette squealed when his boyfriend finally moved his other arm away from Laf’s face and joined the other still resting on his ass. Hercules pulled him close, sandwiching his hand between their crotches, and suddenly grinding his hips, causing Lafayette to moan in shock.

Eyes widened, Laf shifted his head up, and was now nose-to-nose with a half lidded,  _ awake, _ Hercules.

“Well good morning, babe.” Hercules greeted with a chuckle, pulling Lafayette’s body closer so their noses touched and bodies rubbed together. “I see you’re ready to start the day.” Laf flustered, eyes wide and mouth agape as he attempted to an excuse, and was suddenly pushed onto his back, Hercules now on top of the blushing man. He brushed his hand along the Frenchman’s cheek, humming in affection. “Relax, only kidding.”

“Mon dieu, you better be kidding Hercules Mulligan. I was not the one dry humping in their sleep.” Lafayette accused playfully, cheeks a deep shade of crimson. 

“Who said I was asleep?” Herc joking, causing Laf to fall silent and stare at the other with eyes that portrayed shock, anger, betrayal and lust. “Besides, you look cute like this.” He brushed his fingers along Laf’s exposed collar bone. 

“Embarrassed?” Lafayette grumbled.

“No, beneath me in a bed.” It was once again Laf’s turn to stammer in shock of Herc’s vulgar words. 

“Vous êtes un vrai trou du cul” Laf muttered, making Hercules smirk and lean down beside his ear. 

“Did you know speaking French turns me on?” He whispered in a low voice, sending a shiver down Lafayette’s spine.

“Hercules!” Laf squealed, blush darkening and hands pushing for show. Lafayette wouldn’t admit it, but secretly he loved that voice. “Don’t start anything you don’t want to finish.” Laf lectured, causing Herc’s expression to become more serious and lust filled.

“Is that a challenge?” He murmured. Lafayette subconsciously nodded, desperate for  _ something _ because he was too far gone and he needed Hercules god he knew he needed him he was more than ready for this.

“I-I…  _ please,  _ Hercules. I’m ready, I’m ready for you, I’m  _ ready. _ ” The Frenchman wailed, now trembling slightly from the pent up sexual tension he needed to let out.

“You’re… you sure?” Hercules asked, obviously surprised.

“Oui! Yes! I’m ready! J-just.. I cannot go a second longer without you, Hercules Mulligan!” Laf said, eyes drooping and staring innocently up into Herc’s.

“I-I…” Hercules didn’t know what to say. Glancing up at the clock, he noticed the two only had about half an   hour to get ready, so he was 99% sure he couldn’t do what he truly wanted to do to the shaky Frenchman beneath him, so he settled for the easiest thing he could think of. “Let’s take a shower.”

“Quoi?” 

“Y’know.. Uh, well, gee. We, uh, we have to be somewhere in like 30 minutes, and I kinda wanted to make our ‘first time’ special, so… why not do two things at once?” Herc gave a crooked smile, and god, Laf couldn’t resist.

“... wait where do we have to be?” Lafayette asked, confused as he undressed in the bathroom. 

“Oh.. uh… it’s surprise.” Hercules mentally slapped himself because  **the whole point of a surprise is not to tell the other person there** **_was_ ** **a surprise in the first place.** “So um… surprise?” Lafayette chuckled, shaking his head as he now stood stark naked next to an also naked Hercules. “Shall we?” 

God. Hercules wasn’t sure he’d ever not be mesmerized by Lafayette’s body. The pure perfection the other was was absolutely breathtaking. He was beautiful. Scars and all, it seemed as if his imperfections were what made him perfect. The best part was, he wasn’t naked for any other reason other than the fact that Laf was  _ his. _ Not because he had harmed himself, and not because he was mentally blocking himself from everyone. Just for pure love and affection the two had for each other. 

“Holy shit..” Herc said under his breath, making Laf blush and look away sheepishly. “You’re so beautiful…  _ god… _ I just… How did I get so lucky?” Lafayette felt himself well up at the others words, and was surprised with how easy he was able to say he loved this man with all his heart. Taking Herc’s hand in his, the two stepped into the shower together, unsure of where to start.

Sensing Laf’s obscurity, Hercules gripped the other’s waist and gently pressed him against the wall, kissing him passionately. Laf moaned into the kiss, melting into Herc’s embrace and allowing the other to take the reigns. Hercules moved closer, pressing their bodies flush against each other, addicted to the soft noises Laf made and how utterly wrecked the other was and he barely even touched him. 

Although he’d much rather have actual intercourse with the other, Herc knew he didn’t have as much time as he’d like to have, and instead pushed Laf deeper into the wall, resting his chin in between the other’s shoulder and neck. The hands at the Frenchman’s waist pulled closer, so their dicks were touching, cause both Laf and Herc to let out a moan.

“P-please, Hercules..” Lafayette slurred, desperate for contact as he rolled his hips forward slightly, causing Herc to groan. He gripped the frantic man’s hips, stopping the movements, and instead wrapped his hand around both their dicks, twisting his wrist testingly.

“Is this okay?” He asked in a raspy voice, to which Laf nodded vigorously, knees about to give out, Hercules having to keep his upright. Soon, Herc began jerking both their dicks off at once, Lafayette emitting the most sinful and gorgeous cries he’d ever heard. 

It wasn’t like anything he’d ever felt before. The way their cocks twitched and how Lafayette gripped desperately at his shoulders only made him go faster, and soon his hips were rocking up and down. And,  _ god _ , the way Laf choked on his moans made the feeling intensify, heat gathering quickly at his base. He knew he wouldn’t last long, especially with how utterly broken Lafayette now was. 

The heat of the shower only made the scene even more erotic, the sinful and wet noises coming from below made Hercules harder. Lafayette now practically lay on top of him, since he was unable to stand on his own. 

Sure, he knew Alex and John most likely could hear them, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the panting coming from Lafayette that sounded beside his ear, and the way his legs were shaking. It felt  _ fantastic. _ Pleasure growing with every stroke he made, every cry Lafayette would let out. His groans made Laf’s dick twitch, and just feeling it made him become even closer to coming.

“Je ne peux pas! Je ne peux p-pas!” Lafayette exclaimed, hands desperately scraping Herc’s back for purchase, knowing he’d fall if he didn’t.  “J’arrive!” He shrieked as he came in long spurts, choked out sobs emitting from his mouth along with dirty language. Hercules jerked him off throughout his high, Laf’s legs spasming intensely from over sensitivity.

Hercules stroked himself to completion, letting out a rather embarrassing squeak as he came, Lafayette practically pudding by the time he was finished. 

“S-shit..” His voice hoarse as he came down from his blissful high. 

“Mm… je t’aime.” Lafayette murmured into his chest, limbs weak and jelly-like.

*

*

“Okay, we’re loud, but not  _ that  _ loud.” John said accusingly, turning in the passenger’s seat to look at the couple who satin the back. Lafayette had an extremely deep blush on his face, unable to look his friend in the eye, while Herc smirked smugly. “Like… honestly…. What were you two doing in there?!”

“Fucking.” Hercules said, causing Lafayette to turn abruptly looking at him in horror. John stared at him, face as red as a tomato as he babbled incoherently.

  
“Honestly, Johnny, what did you expect?” Alex said, eyes shooting towards his boyfriend while trying to focus on the road. “This is Hercules fucking Mulligan you’re talking to. The guy who literally submitted fanfiction about him and Rihanna having sex to the teacher for his eleventh grade writing piece.” Hercules shrugged a that, smiling when Lafayette looked at him wide eyes.

“You  _ what?!” _

_ * _

_ * _ _   
_ _ * _

“We’re here!” Alex said excitedly, pulling Lafayette from the car and onto the sidewalk. What stood in front of the four was a rather large French restaurant. The sign read ‘ _ Parc _ ’, and seemed empty. “C’mon, c’mon!” Alex squealed, dragging John and Laf inside, Hercules following from behind. 

“Mon dieu, it is exquisite.” Lafayette said under his breath, looking around with awe. There were no customers in sight, but waiters and waitresses surrounded the place wearing smiles. Chairs were nowhere in sight, and the tables were cleared. Along them, Lafayette could make out hundreds of pictures which lay neatly.

Walking up to one, he realized they weren’t just pictures, they were pictures of all of them. Pictures of him and Alex, him and John, him and Hercules, and even some with just him. On the bottom of them there were numbers,  _ dates, _ Laf realized. The first pictures marked June 20, a year from today. His breath caught in his throat, as he stared at the unfamiliar man in the picture. He soon realized it was him.

The four of them sat along the table, him squished between Alex and Hercules, Angelica taking the picture as a selfie, and Jefferson in the background chatting idly with James. He looked closer, heart stopping because of how different he looked. He seemed so tired in the photo, and so undeniably thin. Dark circles line the bottom of his eyes, and small fragile hands gripped his sides.

The next picture was him eating a taco, obviously not realizing he was being photographed. Hercules made bunny ears behind his head, and by the looks of it John was taking the picture. 

Glancing next to it, he saw him, Alex and John taking a selfie together. John and Alex had their lips locked together, eyes closed and hands intertwined. He realized it was the day John and Alex finally decided to tell Herc and Laf that they were dating, and god if that didn’t make Lafayette smile. 

To the right, it showed him and Hercules sitting on the couch together. Herc was rubbing at Laf’s slightly wet curls, kissing the top of his head lightly. Lafayette seemed sound asleep, leaning on Herc’s arm peacefully. Lafayette suddenly couldn’t keep in his emotions, as a sob escaped his lips. Covering his eyes, he let tears roll down his cheeks while his three friends began comforting him.

“Are you okay?” Alex said, wiping away one of the Frenchman’s tears. 

“O-oui.. Oui, I am fine I just… I’m so grateful..” Lafayette croaked out, frantically wiping at his tears. Hercules cooed and wrapped his arms around Laf’s waist, burying his head between the other's neck. “Th-thank you all so, so much…”

“We all love you, Laf.” John said, also on the verge of tears. “Never forget that, okay?” He rubbed Lafayette’s hand gently, willing him to relax. 

“M-merci, beaucoup, mes amis.”

*

The pictures ranged from random selfies John and Alex had taken on snapchat, to rather risky pictures of Laf and Herc getting intimate. When he took those pictures, he wasn’t sure, but in all honesty he didn’t mind. Some were just random shots of him at the kitchen stove, cooking whatever strange cravings his friends had. A few selfies, and some of him making the ugliest faces he’d ever seen and couldn’t stop laughing. 

One picture was him and Hercules kissing, and boy, did that cause him to cry. So much so, Hercules had to take him away from the photo and talk to him privately.

*

“This was so fun.” Lafayette said, beginning to cry again. Herc gave his hand a light squeeze, calming him once more. He had just finished eating the bowl of soup he ordered, while Hercules still ate his country chicken sandwich and John nibbled on a few fries.

“I can’t eat any _ more _ ” Alex groaned, hand gripping weakly at the table while John smirked in his direction.

“Well maybe if you wouldn’t of-”

  
“Dessert anyone?”

“YES!” Alex said, snatching the menu from the waiter and shoving his nose into the laminated paper. 

“I thought you were full?” John said playfully, earning an eye roll from Alex.

“Shut up.”

*

*

“Oh, mon dieu..” Lafayette murmured, looking out at the scene before him. The four stood at the entrance of a park, kids and parents playing throughout the field. Couples had small picnics but the lake, others hooked up beneath the trees. Small flower petals trickled down slowly from above, landing along Laf’s hair. “C’est magnifique.” 

“Pretty cool, right?” John said cheerfully, rubbing Laf’s back. “Yeah, my dad use’ta bring me here when I was a kid. Y’know, the place I told you about the other day?” Lafayette nodded in recognition, smiling happily as he turned to his friends.

“I-I just wanted to thank all of you. For everything. I-I don’t know what I would’ve done if it weren’t for your kindness.” He rubbed his back sheepishly, blushing, “J-just… I really appreciate it.” Alex ran forward and enveloped Laf in a hug, Herc joining in as well as John.

*

*

“Okay, so, here’s what you do.” Lafayette instructed, handing John a purple pansy. He took in gratefully, blushing from the odd looks people gave the two. He wasn’t surprised, after all, they were two grown men sitting in a bed of flowers. “So, you’ll need two flowers, and each need to have rather long stems.” John nodded along with his instructions, wrapping the flower the way Laf showed him, frowning when he did it wrong.

“Ugh, this is hopeless!” John wailed, throwing his pansy across the flower bed. “I’ll never be able to do it right!” Lafayette sat patiently next to him, allowing John to get his frustrations out. “G-god… I’m sorry Laf.” He muttered, looking away embarrassed. 

“Non, it is alright. I understand. We all become rather upset art our failures, at happens to me quite often.” Lafayette smiled, lending John a comforting hand. He smiled when he took it. “Do not fret, mon amie. You’ll get it soon.” John nodded, huffing as he picked two more flowers.

“Okay, you’re right, I got this.” He said, rolling his shoulders a few times before looking to Laf for further instructions. Lafayette twisted the stem a certain way, John attempting to do the same. When his stem snapped, he shouted and chucked the flower as hard as he could across the field, fuming. “I-I’m sorry…” He muttered, shaking his head. Laf chuckled, and handed him another flower.

“Do not fret, dear Laurens. You will get it.” Lafayette slowly unwrapped the flower, then twisted it once more. John did the same, eyes brightening when he did it correctly. “Oui, oui! Good!” Lafayette took the other flower, still moving slow. He did a strange move where he somehow connected the two pansies.

John was dumbfounded.

He struggled to do the same thing and, when he failed, yelled once more and ripped the small purple flowers apart.

“STUPID FUCKING PANSIES THINKING THEY’RE SMARTER THAN ME!” John yelled, absolutely fuming. He grabbed a handful of nearby flowers and tore those into bits, frantically looking around him for more. 

It was when he’d destroyed four large handfuls of flowers did he finally relax, face red and breathing heavy. Lafayette placed a soft hand on his back, brows creased when he flinched slightly. 

“I-I’m… sorry. I just... “ He began to stand, trying not to crush any more pansies around them. “I’m gonna get a drink.” Lafayette nodded, silent as he slumped away and towards the water fountain.

The Frenchman sat quietly on the ground for a few moments, looking around and taking in his surroundings as children yelled and squealed in delight. He decided to stand and search for Alex and Hercules to give John some space, knowing him when he got into tantrums.

  
_ What he didn’t notice, was the gun pointed straight at him from the nearby tree not twenty feet away from him _

_ * _

John couldn’t help that he got upset with stupid things, it was a force of habit now. Ever since his dad, any negative happening or remark towards him caused him to lash out because apparently that’s what ‘men’ do.

Now, he constantly had a chip on his shoulder, unless it came to any of his friends. He was okay if any of them joked with him, but anyone else who was even the slightest bit rude would be leaving with a bloody nose.

He’d gotten better, though. Now that he works at the local shooting range, he could get his anger out easily, then enjoy the rest of his day at home. He enjoyed working with guns, for whatever reason. There was something about them that he was just attracted to.

He  _ knew  _ guns. He knew the smell, the shape, the feel. Heck, he knew everything. In fact, if it weren’t the fact that he worked where he did, he might not have heard the sound of the gun safety lock being undone. 

In fact, he probably wouldn’t have noticed the man in the bushes pointing a gun straight for..

…

_ Lafayette. _

Acting fast, his key instinct was to yell, but that wouldn’t help whatsoever. Instead, he’d have to get him to move fast enough. He began sprinting forward, hands clenching in worry because  _ what if he was too late?! What would happen to Laf? _ No, he wouldn’t let this happen, especially not with him watching. 

With Lafayette not three feet away, he heard the trigger click just as his hands shot out and   shoved Lafayette roughly to the ground. White began filling his vision.

_ * _

“Gah!” Laf shouted as he was shoved to the ground, a sudden gun shot making him flinch and cover his head. Something in his mind snapped as he heard screams of kids and yells of adults around him. Panicked shouts emitted from the left of him, and men screaming, people sobbing in fear. 

When nothing else happened, he decided to peek out from behind his arms.

Trembling, he looked around. Kids were crying, and women were staring, hands on their mouths  _ directly at him…. _

_ …. _

_ No… _

_ Behind him… _

****_Turning slowly, he glanced back, watching in horror as John’s limp body fell to the ground._** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


	20. trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A loss of a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I'm so done with my shitty life. 
> 
> I had stupid running training, and I felt so degraded. I never felt like I was good enough. 
> 
> I mean, yeah, I had weight problems when I was younger,, but I lost like thirty pounds and clearly that's not enough. he kept saying 'not bad' and 'needs work' and shit like that an I felt so defeated I guess.
> 
> I was in the car with my mom later, and idk why but I started crying bc of stress from work, school, sports and other shit like that, and she thinks I'm crying because of my fucking phone. honestly I'm not doing so good right now. bear with me if updates are slower,, but I'm trying. 
> 
> sorry yall heres the next chapter

“John!” Lafayette yelled, scrambling onto his feet and rushing over to where his friend’s twitching body lay. Dropping to his knees, the Frenchman placed John’s head on his lap as gently as possible to make John’s position more comfortable. “Oh, g-god… J-john.. I’m so sorry..” He murmured, stroking the side of his face while frantically looking around for someone to help him.

A deep hole now lay right between his ribs, gushing out thick spurts of blood. Acting fast, Laf attempted to get the bullet out from inside to try and ease the pain. Instead, when his fingers barely brushed past his body, John let out a harsh yelp, trembling in the Frenchman’s arms. 

“N-No…” He whispered, tears now trailing his face freely and blocking his vision. “N-No! D-d-don’t do this to me! Please, don’t leave me!” He cried, desperate to save his friend. Behind his tears, he could see Alex and Hercules sprinting towards the two, but he didn’t care.  _ Couldn’t _ care, because his main focus was the man dying before him, and the fact that it was his fault.

“J-JOHN!” Alex exclaimed, sitting across from Laf, covering the hole with his hands to try and halt the bleeding, making John jump. “B-baby, p-lease..” He murmured, bring his hands down to cup the other’s face. “Oh, god…  Eres fuerte, no te vayas, sigue luchando, permanece vivo…” he muttered, rubbing at John’s now blood-smeared cheeks.

“D-dear.. God…” Hercules whispered beside Laf, hands shaking as he tried to find a way to help. “S-Someone help!” He yelled, looking around frantically, “P-please! Somebody call someone!” Behind his tears, Hercules ripped off the sweater he was wearing and wrapped it around John’s torso to try and stop the bleeding. 

The freckled man’s eyes were glazed over, open wide but seemingly dead. He panted heavily, causing Alex to let out another sob. When he’d blink or begin to lose focus, Alex would panic, interlocking their hands together. 

“S-S'il vous plaît ne faites pas cela pour nous ... nous vous aimons tellement tant que nous ne pouvons pas vous perdre maintenant …” Lafayette’s mouth was unable to form English words, and instead could only speak in French due to shock. Throughout his babbling, John raised a shuddering hand up to the Frenchman’s face and wiped at his tears. Instead of helping, that only caused Laf to cry more, bringing a warm hand up to a blood covered one and holding it close to his face. 

“D-d-don’t… c-cry… L-Laffy…” John choked out, ripping a sob from Lafayette. “Alex… p-please… don’t… d-don’t…” John couldn’t finish that sentence, a sob interrupted him. Scratchy coughs caused Alex to whimper, because it wasn’t just that John was coughing, it was that he was coughing up  _ blood. _ Small trickles of blood caused John to try and spit out the metallic tasting substance. 

  
“Water..” Herc whispered. “Someone get him water!” He yelled desperately. He jumped when someone tapped on his shoulder, turning to a woman with dark red lipstick and a sad smile. “T-thank you so much..” He said between his tears, bringing it up to the dying man’s mouth who took large gulps.

  
“I-I called the police..” The lady said, voice wavering. “They’ll be here s-soon.” Herc nodded in thanks, going back to his friend, hands ghosting his body, unsure of how he could help. Lafayette sniffled, fat tears dropping onto his shirt, going limp as Herc held him close to his body for a one sided embrace. Alex frantically yelled, begging for someone to do  _ something. _

“Oh g-god.. I can’t look..” Alex muttered, head in his hands, shoulders shaking as he sobbed. John stared longingly at him, hand weakly attempting to grip his, but couldn’t quite reach his boyfriend. Now pale in the face, John turned to look at Hercules and Lafayette, eyes drooping closed once in awhile to Laf’s horror. “I-I’m g-gonna go get help.” Alex said hurriedly, kissing John’s head and holding it still before jumping up and rushing away. 

Something was telling Laf to go after him, so the four would stay together and not wander throughout the park alone, but after a ragged cough from John, Lafayette couldn’t think of anything else. His head felt as if it were filled with cotton. Noises barely comprehensible, and his mother tongue being the only language he could seem to make words with. 

Alex felt  _ so guilty  _ for leaving his best friends like that in a time of crisis. But, staring at John like that was making him have dark flashbacks. He just… couldn’t watch someone else he loved suffer so.  _ Not again. _ Running through the park, he caught sight of a security officer, and quickly made his way over to him.

“W-wheres… wheres Alex?” John croaked, yet another tear rolling down his bloody face. Lafayette shook his head, a choked sob telling John he wouldn’t be back for awhile.  _ Alex was always busy, _ John thought, making him smile slightly.  _ Always had a cup of coffee with him, wherever he went. _ Looking up, he watched as Hercules cried into his boyfriend’s hair, trying to shush the two while keeping back his sobs as much as possible. 

John attempted to sit up, to hug two of his best friends and assure them he’d be alright, but the excruciating pain that came with the movement caused him to gasp and flop back down, fingers twitching as the burn licked at his hands, blooming from the left of his chest. A soft whimper emitted from his throat, because  _ god, it hurt so much. _

Looking to his right, he noticed something. Something _ familiar. _

_ Pansies. _

With a weak smile, he ghosted over one of the petals closest to him, the soft speckle of purple and violet blending beautifully. Glancing back over to his left, more tears spilled over as Lafayette’s whole body shook in grief. Determined, he used the last of his strength and plucked the petite flower from the ground. He shifted uncomfortably over to his left in order to shakily  hand Laf the purple pansy.

At first, Laf didn’t understand, staring at the flower through his tears, brows creasing together in agony. As if something snapped, Laf began weeping impossibly harder, taking the pansy in his shaking hands. He rubbed John’s face softly, wiping away at the tears and blood that covered his face. Hercules held one of the Frenchman’s hands, his face buried in Laf’s neck as he cried openly. 

Lafayette positioned a few lone hairs on John’s head, cleaning him up slightly, then using the stem, wrapped the flower in his friend’s hair. The sight caused Laf to look away for a second, because  _ god,  _ John just looked so…  _ helpless. _

Picking another flower, he placed it right beside the first one, taking time to wipe at Herc’s, John’s and his own tears. Repeating the process around twelve times, he was finished. Red eyed and trembling, he sat up slightly and looked down at a shivering John. Blood covered the other’s body, face and hands, tears leaving dried trails along his face. Eyes drooped and barely open, he brought a shaky hand to his head and felt the pansies that lay in a perfect line. 

A sad smile was thrown Laf’s way, one last tear falling from his cheek. Eyes beginning to close, Lafayette couldn’t do anything to stop what was coming next.

“T-thank you…. S-so…. Much…” John forced out, now wheezing from the blood filling his throat. He blinked a few times, his eyes now unfocused and staring into the sky as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing.  “I-I love you guys... “ He murmured, before his eyes closed, and his breathing stopped.

“J-John?” Laf said in a tiny voice, shuddering hands coming up to feel the other’s face.  _ Cold. _ He was ice cold. “J-Johnny? P-please… wake up.” He pleaded, causing Herc to grip harder to the Frenchman’s arm. “Don’t do this to me!” He yelled, grabbing John’s limp arm and holding it in his hands. “P-please! I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He yelled, breath picking up dramatically. “I didn’t mean to! It’s my fault, I’m s-sorr-y!” Lafayette sobbed, throwing his body on top of John’s, crying into his shirt. Hercules, now facing Laf’s back, hugged the Frenchman from behind, the three leaning into each other in a crying, bloody mess.

****_“Please don’t leave me.”_** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying


	21. MY TUMBLR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D

lol this ain't a chapter I just wanted to say a few things;

 

1\. My tumblr is: @ham-is-gr8   don't ask why I chose that name I just did. u can bother me there and look for polls, request shit, find updates and future plans on my fics

 

2\. don't ask me to 'POST THE CHAPTER ALREADY' bc I  wont until its fukcin g _finished_. these things take time u ding dongs

 

3.  THANK U ALL SOSO MUCH FOR UR KINDNESS UR SOSWEEEEEET AHHHHHHH ILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U ALL!!!!!!!1

 

4\. okay that's it new chapter possibly tomorrow or next day either or

 

;3


	22. A price too powerful to name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't rly like this chapter very much but I've rewritten it so many times I dont even care anymore.
> 
> thanks to everyone who supported me!1! ILY!

“We had a deal!” Lee shouted, shooting up from his chair and slamming his hands against the table. “You can’t just back out of it!”

“Well,  _ you’re _ the one who missed.” George said dangerously, standing from his chair as well. Narrowing his eyes, he dared Charles to respond. 

“B-but-! The guy pushed him out of the way! I had him! I fucking  _ had _ him!” Lee’s face grew redder the more he talked, teeth grinding together and brows furrowed sharply. “And now you change your mind?!”

“It’s not that I changed my mind, it’s the fact that you shot, and probably killed, the wrong guy.” George spat. “And so, I’ll be taking matters into my  _ own _ hands.” He walked away from the table, and, without a word, went to leave.

“That’s it? You’re just gonna leave?” Charles muttered. 

“No… I’m gonna get a drink.” George said, grabbing his keys and turning to leave. “Tell that Samuel he gave you the wrong information. Whoever he got his facts from was wrong.”   
  
“J-Jefferson? Seabury told me he’s like… your ex’s best friend?” Charles questioned. 

“Heh.. well… there’s one thing he didn’t tell Sam.”   
  


“And that is?”

“Lafayette has a weak spot.”

*

*

*

The funeral was rather small. Of John’s family, only two people showed up; His dad, and his sister Martha. Laf knew how John felt about his dad.

…

..Or how he used to feel…

And from what he’s heard, Henry Laurens was an homophobic asshole. His mom had apparently passed away when he was only eleven, and other siblings were unable to attend because of traveling issues, but they assured Laf they’d try to visit as soon as possible. 

Alex had yet to stop sobbing from the second John was declared dead, while Hercules had a seemingly endless amount of silent tears as John’s casket was lowered into the ground. It was when a loud clap of thunder emitted from the sky did people begin to leave. The Schuyler sisters were the first to go. 

“God.. we’re so sorry you guys..” Eliza said quietly, looking longingly at the hole slowly being filled with dirt. She wiped at her tears uselessly, giving a long hug to Alex who shook with grief, while Herc, Laf and Angelica quietly said their goodbyes as well.

“I-I know how you guys feel,” She murmured, “Losing Peggy was the worst thing that’d ever happened to us..” She adjusted her black coat, kissing Laf’s cheek and giving a soft hug to Hercules. “Promise me you’ll remember this is none of your faults.” She said, sniffling and using her sleeve to wipe at stray tears. “He’d want you guys to be happy.” Hercules thanked her quietly, since Laf was unable to speak anything other than French for the time being.

Henry Laurens said nothing, simply stared down into the now half filled hole, and sighing softly. Martha shook her head, bringing her hands up to hold her face as she cried. Laf, Herc and Alex sat beside one another, staring down as the first raindrops fell. 

It was when the three were soaked and Henry and Martha had left, did the three leave silently.

*

Lafayette stared blankly out the window as the rain poured down, and people rushed into their houses. He pressed a hand to the glass, the cold surface cooling his feverishly hot body. Laf leaned his forehead against the window as closed his eyes, letting out a sad sigh. Tears dropped on the pane, and his body began trembling as what  _ just happened _ sunk into his mind.

John was gone. He was never coming back. And it was  _ all his fault. _ It was his fault he died. His fault George was out to get them.  _ Everything was his fault. _

And now? All he could do was sit and do nothing, because that’s he’s ever good at. Doing nothing, and letting everyone else use him. To give his body up, and submit.

A part of Lafayette wanted to run to George, to tell him to stop and leave his friends alone. To give himself up to the man who had ruined his life  _ twice. _

Another part of him wanted to hide. To curl in on himself and block everyone out. To become this empty shell of who he was, so he wouldn’t cause anymore pain. A small sob escaped his throat, because  _ god, this was all his fault. John was dead, and he’d never see him again. Poor Herc. Poor Alex. Why was he always such a burden? _

Bringing his hands up, his head leaned on his legs and fingers scratched at his eyes, willing the tears to stop. He didn’t want to feel. All he wanted, was John to come back. God, if only he’d’ve took that bullet. He didn’t care if he was dead, as long as John was back, he didn’t care.

_ Nothing mattered anymore. _

A warm hand on his shoulder made him jump, and whip his head around to face those gorgeous chocolate eyes that were now filled with sorrow and grief. Hercules’ face had tear tracks running down his cheeks, lips pulled down into an uncharacteristic frown, and bags beneath his eyes.

“J-Je suis d-d-desole..” Laf muttered, hands gripping his sides and fingers digging in painfully. “Je suis desole! C’est ma f-faute!” Eye scrunched together, he willed Herc to agree with him. Lafayette  _ wanted _ to hurt. He needed someone to hurt him. George would’ve hurt him. Would’ve hit him, abused his body, and  _ god Laf needed that. _

“Shh..” Herc cooed, hand enveloping half of Laf’s face and bringing it to his chest. “R-relax, love…”  _ God, _ Laf felt sick. The sweetness and sincerity of Hercules’ tone made his stomach hurt, and the gentleness of his hand on his cheek made his throat tighten. 

“C’est ma faute” He whispered, “Je n’étais pas une valeur de lui…” His eyes glanced up, and his heart broke because Hercules was crying again, and it was his fault. “Me faire du mal.  Frappe-moi. S’il vous plaît, j’ai besoin de ressentir de la douleur.”

“Don’t say things like that, Laf..” Herc said quietly. Lafayette cursed to himself, because Herc could tell what he was saying. “I-it’s not your fault..” He wiped at one of the Frenchman’s tears, gently rubbing at his cheek as Laf’s eyes closed shut to the gentle rocking from Herc.

The two sat there for what felt like hours. Alex had locked himself in his room, and had yet to come out. Hercules had said to give him time, but Laf was truly beginning to worry. Nobody ate dinner that night, and no one said another word. 

**_It just wasn’t the same without John_. **


	23. Click Boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One gunshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOLOLOL THIS IS LATE
> 
> sorry my frens
> 
> but yea here have the next chapter

The cars driving by cast shadows against the cold damp ground. Dark clouds hung heavily above Laf’s head, threatening to spill. John’s grave sat eerily still, while Lafayette sat directly in front of it. His hands lay atop his knees, and his head against his palms. He shivered slightly at the cold wind chills that wracked his frail body, and curled inwardly on himself. 

 

He held a bouquet of soft colored flowers, but seemed unable to let go of them. In his mind, letting go of the flowers meant letting go of John. It’s as if he’d’ve accepted his fate, which he surely did not. 

 

“I-I’m sorry John…” Laf muttered, glossy eyes looking down at the assorted pansies, roses and hydrangeas. “It was all my fault…” Sighing, he gently placed the bouquet in front of the grave, and allowed his tears to fall freely. Warms trails of tears lined his face, not wiping them away as they dropped to the ground. But, instead of the harsh coughing and intense sobs that usually occurred when he thought about John, it was soft whimpering and silent crying. 

 

There he sat, head between his legs and hands grabbing wildly at his hair for a while, just letting it out, as more and more clouds gathered above him. He felt so…  _ defeated. _ Helpless. As if he failed everyone, which, technically, he did. It was until a fat drop of rain hit the top of his head did Laf finally decide to stop crying and go home.

 

Wiping away the excess tears and slight blood that had been drawn from gripping head too hard against his sleeves and shirt, he shakily stood. Wobbly at first, Lafayette almost fell, unable to support his own weight.

 

_ Weak. _

 

Slipping into Herc’s car that he used once in awhile, he closed the doors and locked them. Instead of driving, he felt as if he couldn’t move, paralyzed. He sat motionless, staring in front of him with dead eyes and pale face. 

 

_ Ugly. _

 

Tears starting up again, his hands latched onto the steering wheel. With the rain drowning out part of his sight, he started the car and drove away from the cemetery. He muttered to himself, saying ‘you’re too old to cry’ and, ‘John should be ashamed of you for being so weak’. Instead, the tears only increased. In an attempt to rid of them, he squeezed his eyes shut, and, upon opening them, almost collided with a truck. With a gasp he stomped on the brakes, eyes wide and arms shaky.

 

_ Reckless. _

 

Home was quiet. Hercules was nowhere to be in sight, and Alex was still locked in his room. The rain pattered against the window softly as Lafayette went over to inspect it. The cool glass against his slender fingers seemed to relax him, until a sudden bolt of lighting and crack of thunder caused him to yelp and cower away. Shielding his eyes, he shook his head and went upstairs to change.

 

_ Coward. _

 

Staring in the mirror, he knew he should call Hercules. He  _ knew _ how disappointed he’ll be when he finds out about what Lafayette was going to do. But, in all honesty, Laf  _ needed _ this. He needed to hurt. Fingers twitching, he grasped the razor and angled it perfectly, before slicing it across his soft skin. 

 

_ Worthless. _

*

*

 

Lafayette couldn’t sleep. It was as if every atom in his body was buzzing, and he needed to calm them.  _ Distract them.  _ His thoughts flashed back to earlier today, the razor that sat beneath the sink.  _ Just one cut _ , he thought. One slice would be enough. He  _ needed it.  _

 

He was about to hop out of bed, when the mattress beneath him shifted suddenly, and there lay Herc, wide awake and staring at him with dark eyes. 

 

“Hey Laf.” He whispered, making the Frenchman flinch slightly.

 

“Bonjour” He murmured, avoiding Herc’s gaze. He just… he felt so  _ guilty.  _ As if sensing his discomfort, Hercules rolled closer, and placed a large hand against Laf’s cheek. His thumb rubbed in small circles, and, soon, Lafayette felt any need to hurt melt away. “I-I…” 

 

“Hm?” Herc raised an eyebrow curiously. 

 

“I… I h-hurt myself… today…” Lafayette’s whispers barely audible. Hercules is silent at first, comprehending what his boyfriend just said, before worry and sadness etched into his features.

 

_ Or maybe that was disappointment? _

 

“You said you’d call me if you ever felt the need, Laf.” Hercules sounded more guilty than angry, and Laf  _ hated it.  _ Hated It Hated It Hated It. 

 

“I-I’m sorry..” Laf muttered. Hercules nodded, hand pulling the smaller man forward until his head rested against Herc’s chest. 

 

“‘S okay. Just… get some sleep, yeah?” Laf nodded, before he found himself closing his eyes and falling into an uneasy sleep.

*

*

  
It was dark. Pitch black, to be frank. Lafayette’s head frantically whipped back and forth, searching for something familiar. Instead, all he saw was darkness. Taking a cautious step forward, he felt slightly relieved and terrified at the crunch of leave beneath his feet. A few more steps, and he ran into something.

 

Shaky fingers felt around, concluding that the sturdy object was in fact a tree. 

 

_ Trees? Why am I… _

 

It was a forest. He was in a bundle of trees with no sign of life or trail of anything, he was positively alone. And, not to mention, lost. A cold wind creeped along his spine, and he shuddered in fear. 

 

Looking up, he noticed the moon was full, but barely any light could be seen through the barricade of leaves and branches. Walking forward, he used his hands to guide his way through the forest, recoiling his arm when he came in contact with something wet. 

 

It wasn’t raining, and there were no signs of any other moisture sources. The consistency was too thin to be sap, and upon closer inspection…

 

….

…..

 

_ Wait. _

 

The liquid had a slightly red tint to it, and suddenly things didn’t seem so dark. Lafayette felt sick as realization struck him hard. It wasn’t water…

 

...It was  _ blood. _

 

With a small yelp, he rushed to wipe the red substance off his hands, but only spread it further. He brought his hands to the side of his face, because the most unimaginable pain shot through his head.

 

_ What is happening? _ Laf trembled slightly, needing to get out of there but not fully knowing where to go. He stumbled his way through the trees and bushes, legs wobbly for an unknown reason. It was when all hope seemed lost did a loud thud caused him to jump.

 

Sweat lining his brow, he heaved breaths because  _ something was behind him. _

 

Body shaking slightly, he turned slowly, fists clenched at his sides and eyes squeezed closed. Cracking an eye open, he gasped at a body that lay within the leaves and sticks. Stepping forward slowly, he made his way over to the motionless figure. 

 

Lafayette crouched slightly beside the seemingly dead person, just being able to make out the short hair and dark skin and-

 

Wait.

 

_ Wait. _

 

_ No. _

 

Lifting the man’s head with shaking hands, he gasped and shook his head at who now lay  _ dead _ beside him. He jumped back, someone getting to his feet as a fresh set of tears streamed his face. 

 

“H-Herc-ules..” Laf choked out, eyes wide in horror. A crunch of leaves behind him made his head swivel around, as he was now face to face with the nose of a gun. 

 

“Well, well, well…” An all too familiar voice said. “Fancy seeing you here,  _ pet.”  _ There stood George, eyes narrowed and manic smirk growing. “Sorry love, but our meeting be cut short. After all, I’ve been waiting for this moment for  _ years.”  _ He muttered, before pulling the trigger,

  
  
**_Click. Boom._ **


	24. Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laf is conflicted, Herc has (adorable) glasses,
> 
> ...
> 
> and Alex is a damn mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOOOOOOOOOO
> 
> guess whos back biotches. yea Mother Hamm here wit another chapter.
> 
> this fic is almost over btw. I'm thinking around possibly like 7 more chapter(ok not almost done but u get the point) so just a heads up!
> 
> Give me Lafayette X Literally Any Male Hamilton Character or give me death.

Lafayette awoke in a cold sweat. His limbs shook vigorously, and he felt as if he may become sick. Shakily, his rubbed a palm over his forehead, wincing at the major headache he had. There was a slight shift beneath him, and he turned his head to see an unconscious Hercules beside him. Laf’s eyes widened in horror, because  _ he watched Hercules die. _ In a panic, he jumped out of the bed with a shout, and fell to the ground. 

“No Nononononononononononono,  _ no” _ Lafayette repeated, trembling hands coming up to the sides of his head and tugging harshly at the hair. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, barely able to hold them back.   _ Hercules was dead oh god this couldn’t be happening how is thi- _

“Laf?” Lafayette shot his gaze up and yelped at a drowsy looking Hercules. His body lunged back in an attempt to get away from him because  _ surely _ he seeing things. Instead of creating space between them, Lafayette only managed to slam his head against the thick wall, and his tears spilled over. He groaned in pain as Herc bolted out from under the covers to aid his boyfriend.

Lafayette cowered away, cradling the back of his head and whimpering softly. Hercules stood shellshocked, fixing his glasses (that he hated) and brows creasing in worry.

“Babe, hey, it’s okay, what’s wrong?” He asked softly, making Laf shut his eyes and pull away from his outstretched hand. Herc was silent for a second, before moving next to the shaken Frenchman and leaning his back against the wall. They sat in relative silence, the only noise being the soft sobs and quiet sniffles coming from Laf.

“A-are we… are we dead?” Lafayette asked suddenly, making Herc’s eyes widen in shock and head to spin slightly.  _ What had Lafayette seen? _

“U-uh… no, Laf, we’re very much alive actually.” 

“B-but.. I saw you d-die…” He whispered as he wrung his fingers together. The tears seemed to halt momentarily, but his shoulders were still uncharastically hunched. 

“It was only a dream, love.” Herc murmured. Laf sat in silence for a few moments, the idea seemingly setting into his mind, before speaking.

“So George didn’t kill me?” Laf whispered, causing Herc to swallow in worry. He couldn’t imagine having a dream like that, especially when things seemed so real. Given the circumstances, he might’ve thought something truly  _ was  _ wrong.

“No, Laffy. You’re still alive and well. I promised you’d be okay, remember?” Lafayette seemed to snap at that, because memories began bombarding him as he dove into his mind face first.

“H-Hercules..” He muttered, feeling tears grow once more in the corners of his eyes, “I-I was so scared..” Herc’s heart snapped in half at that. Turning to face the shaken man, all restraint had vanished, and he was kissing Laf so tenderly that everything seemed to vanish. All that mattered was him and Lafayette. He felt his boyfriend turn to putty beneath his fingers, as his hands came up to wrap around Herc’s neck and pull him closer

After a few beats, Hercules pulled away, and was met with Lafayette’s silent crying. He kissed the top of Laf’s head as he rested his head against Hercules’ chest, and listened to the other’s soft breaths and gentle wheezes. After about ten minutes, Lafayette pulled away, and stared Herc straight in the eyes.

“I like you with glasses…” Laf whispered, making Herc chuckle. He rested a hand against Laf’s cheek and rubbed in soft circles with his thumb. The Frenchman purred gently, eyes shutting in content. All that mattered was that Hercules was okay. 

It was when the hand dropped from his face did his eyes open. Hercules’ head lay against the wall, mouth open and eyes locked closed. His glasses slowly slid form his head, Laf catching them before they fell to the ground and placed them beside him.

Knowing he had no hope of getting sleep, he stood on wobbly legs, using the door for support and making his way down the steps. 

When he walked into the kitchen, he surely did not expect to see Alexander. The shorter man had his arms on either side of the sink, as he heaved in breaths. His eyes were bloodshot, tears running freely down his face and shoulders hunching as sobs wracked his body. His hair hung messily around his face, and, in all honesty, he looked so…  _ defeated. _

It was when a warm hand grasped Alex’s back did the man squeak and turn abruptly, eyes wide in panic. He relaxed slightly when he saw it was only Lafayette, but he still had this wild look on his face. He grumbled softly, gaze casting down to the floor as he wiped uselessly at his tears. 

“Are you alright?” Laf asked quietly, making Alex flinch.

“No.” The other mumbled, making Laf’s brows furrow. 

“What is the matter, mon petit?” He asked, extending a gentle hand, but Alex smacked it away, causing Laf to step back in shock.

“The hell do you think? The only person I ever fucking loved is  _ gone. _ I’ll never see him again! And here you are, asking me what’s  _ wrong?!”  _ Alex snapped.

“I-I am sorry, I didn’t-”

“You bet you’re fucking sorry. John’s gone, my life sucks,  and now I have to deal with your bullshit! I wish you could just go back to Geo-” Alex cut himself off, eyes going wide in horror because he  _ just said that. _ His eyes met Laf’s, who was now had tears trailing his face and avoiding his gaze. 

Lafayette closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath, then opened them once more. Instead of yelling, instead of leaving, and instead of being disgusted like Alex expected him to be, Lafayette said;

“I’m sorry.” 

And left, without another word.

*

*

Things slowly became better, to worse, to better, to bad once more. Nothing was perfect, not that it ever would be again, and everyone was far from recovered, but there was some sort of strange peace that resonated throughout the household. Lafayette would stay awake until he heard Alex leave his room at around two in the morning, and watched him silently from the stairs. 

It wasn’t that he was trying to be weird, it was just that he needed to  _ understand. _ He wanted to know how Alex truly felt, because watching him grow increasingly more unstable was taking a lot out of him. It was as if there was more to losing John for Alex. Like, it wasn’t just that he lost his lover, but maybe…

Maybe a reason to live? A reason, a  _ true _ reason to get out of bed in the morning? It was then Laf concluded that there had to be something else going on. Something he didn’t see, but was right beneath his nose. 

His answer came when he watched Alex leave the house at around 2:15 am. Lafayette stood at the stop of the stairs, jumping when the front door burst open ten minutes later, revealing Alex and a woman with bright lipstick and rather revealing clothing. He scrambled to hide himself, shooting back inside his bedroom and listening to Alex’s bedroom door slam shut. 

Everything seemed so clear now. Something clicked, and Laf’s eyes widened in realization. It was… it was like Alex  _ needed  _ romantic support. Maybe… maybe he felt that he needed love to survive, because of how long he had to wait for it. 

Yes, Lafayette knew of Alex’s tragic past. How much worse things were for him compared to Laf. The Frenchman gasped inwardly because things made sense. Clearly, Alex’s mental state was dangerous. He was convincing himself that he wanted to be in the bedroom with that woman… but something…

Something felt off….

With a sigh, Lafayette gave up for the night, turning around to see Hercules wide awake, wearing those adorable glasses once more with his eyebrow raised in suspicion. With a huff, Laf slumped into bed next to his boyfriend, and decided to keep quiet about what was going on with their friend. 

****_Maybe things would work out?_** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u have a good day^^


	25. Miss Maria Reynolds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And that's when Miss Maria Reynolds walked into Laf's life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SKINTONE CHICKEN BONE LEAVE ME ALONE HITTA
> 
> *ahem*
> 
> yEAS this is a short chapter but I needed it bc I couldn't keep writing without getting into a wHOLE OTHR PART of the story,, so here u guys go.
> 
> btw s/o to everyone who has made me fanart ur all too sweet!!1!
> 
> anyway,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 
> 
> have a good day, sweets^^

Lafayette glared daggers into the back of the woman’s head who now sat at their couch. Alex lounged next to her, holding hands and giving small pecks from their lips. The way this  _ Maria Reynolds _ looked at Alex like he was hers. The smiles they shared, the soft murmurs they spoke, it made Laf feel queasy. 

He stood in the kitchen, Hercules not yet out of bed. Laf found the two like this, Maria introducing herself rather than Alex, and Lafayette giving best fake smile he could muster. He gripped painfully hard at the washcloth that lay next to him, enough to make his knuckles turn white. He couldn’t explain  _ why  _ he felt so… negatively towards Maria. After all, she seemed like a nice enough gal, but something felt so fucking wrong. 

It was when Alex and her shared a rather intimate kiss, did Laf finally break. He threw the washcloth across the kitchen, and began stomping over to the couple. He was about ten feet from them when strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back into the kitchen gently. 

“Laf, where in the world do you think you’re going looking so angry?” Herc questioned, eyebrow raised. With a huff, the Frenchman muttered curses under his breath. It was when Hercules gave a soft squeeze to his arm did he snap out of his rage-fueled world.

“It just… does not make sense.” Laf murmured with a sigh. “He was so heart broken about it, and now he’s fine? How could he betray John lik-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Herc interrupted, “Alex has gone through  _ so much.  _ And you, out of anyone, know that. Now, I know losing John was… beyond difficult, but,  _ please.  _ Alex is finally out of his room, finally smiling, and now, you’re going to take that away from him?” 

“I-I…” Lafayette was speechless. How could he be so…  _ rude? _ So blind. 

_ So selfish.  _

“Mon dieu, you’re right. I am an  imbécile.” Lafayette said. He shook his head, and, taking a deep breath, finally relaxed. “Je suis desole. I suppose I am not… fully accepting of… John.” Laf spoke John’s name with glassy eyes. He felt so stupid. How dare he try and tinker with Alex’s love life? What kind of a person was he?

“Shh, I don’t blame you. Just… try to relax, yeah?” Laf nodded in agreement, running a hand through his curls and taking a shaky breath. Hercules smiled, kissing the man’s temple and joining Alex in the living room to properly meet Maria. 

The three acted like old friends. Apparently, Herc had previously met Maria on…  _ that day.  _ She was the woman who called the police. Sure, he should be grateful, but something still felt impossibly wrong. Just… the way she did things. The way she’d sometimes have mood swings in the middle of a conversation, the way her eyes would widen rapidly then squeeze closed for a moment. It was even little things, loud noises to which Maria’s shoulders would flinch, how her jaw would tense and relax. And the  _ constant  _ scratching on her left arm drove Lafayette crazy.

**Something was going on, and he planned on getting to the bottom of it. **


	26. Deja Vu pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex is kidnapped, and Lafayette knows the man all too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOOOOOO!
> 
> sorry this took awhile, I'm on break and had a few days off so I was in Florida for awhile but now I'm back!!!!!!!!!
> 
> the story is almost over, my frens<3
> 
> Enjoy!!

Alex usually wasn’t one to give into peer pressure. In fact, most of the time, he decides to purposely do the opposite of what everyone would want him to do, for the sake of his sanity. Not to mention, his reputation.

But, some things, are much more different than a simple debate topic or shirt to wear for the day. Some things are so obviously wrong, and yet we do them because there's this type of need and curiosity that fills our mind. It’s the same type of feeling that’s flooding Alexander’s mind at this very moment, in fact. 

Maria sat across from him on the floor, a man with the name James Reynolds lay cross legged next to her. The three were seated in Maria’s basement, the two adults that sat in front of Alex took long drags from a joint like they did it everyday. And now, Maria held out the joint, motioning Alex to take a hit.

At first, he kindly denied the offer. Drugs were certainly not his thing. But the more insistent Maria got, Alex felt his self control slowly chip away. Faster even with how James was mocking him in such crude ways. 

“C’mon shrimp, take a drag.” James slurred, going as far to take a long swig of his beer. “Trust me, you’ll feel better after.” Maria nodded with her housemate, urging Alex even further by man handling his hand to force him to hold the joint. He studied the object carefully, nerves building in his stomach because he really didn’t want to do this.

He closed his eyes and brought the drug up to his mouth and took a deep inhale. Alex coughed harshly at the overall taste because if that wasn’t the worst feeling he’s ever had in his life. He roughly pushed the joint away and Maria gently took it from his hands, and through Alexander’s teary eyes, he could her… smirking?

Confused he rubbed at his eyes that seemed to be fogging up. He hacked in a desperate attempt to clear his throat because it felt as if something was stuck inside. Wheezing slightly, he felt the clot of saliva finally ease up and he could soon breathe normally. Alex’s head felt as if it were full of cotton, and he could barely see a thing before-

_ Oh.  _ He could get used to that feeling. He felt carefree, as if nothing was wrong. John didn’t matter, Lafayette didn’t matter,  _ nothing  _ mattered besides the artificial numbness going throughout his body. His limbs felt heavy, but still maneuverable, but overall he felt relaxed. 

His random jolt of euphoria dissipated when a strong hand clutched at his dark locks, pulling roughly as he gasped. He tried screaming, motioning for Maria or even James to help, because the pain felt so… strange. It was like he wasn’t truly there. None of this was happening. Was he dreaming? Maybe. But he surely wasn’t dreaming when he watched James place some sort of tablet in whatever Maria was drinking and force it down Alex’s throat.

Alex gasped and sputtered, his head fighting to move but unable. A man stood above him, smirking and menacing, as he finally swallowed what tasted presumable of watered down vodka. That certainly didn’t stop his throat from burning, hands coming up to grip at his neck to somehow ease the pain. 

Gagging, he attempted to punch at the man who had a grip of his hair, but failed miserably. His body felt weak, and rather slow. Whatever he drank was making him tired, and the next thing he knew, he felt his eyes begin to shut.

Shaking his head, he tried to stay awake, but when James landed a solid punch into the side of his head, it was all over.

*

*

“Shit shit shit shit  _ shit.” _ Lafayette muttered, sprinting through town. He frantically looked through shops, he snapping back and forth for any sign of Alex or quite possibly Maria. His heart hammered through his chest, and breathing became harder by the second as cold air nipped at his lungs. Nose red, he continued his search, occasionally asking citizens around him for help.

He knew there was something fishy about Maria, and his suspicions were right once he found a pack of roofies in her purse. Don’t ask why he was looking, he was just being cautious.

Not only that, but he found packs of powder and don’t think he didn’t know what those were. And yes, a big part of him is glad that Maria truly isn’t who she presents herself to be. But.. another part of Lafayette… is upset. Disappointed. Alexander had looked so happy to be with the woman. Being told that she truly was a bad person wasn’t something Laf wanted to do. 

It would break Alex’s heart. 

But, the real question was where the hell did she take Alex? Surely the woman couldn’t be planning on drugging him by herself, that didn’t add up.  He paused to catch his breath, eyes damp and breath hitching slightly. 

He really needed to get back to the gym. 

He took Maria’s red phone out, examining it for a second and praying she didn’t have a passcode. Laf clicked it on, the background being a picture of her and two other people who seemed to be younger than her. He ignored it, and swiped left, sighing with relief when it went straight to the menu. He thumbed through texts, pictures, and suddenly stumbled across contacts.

Biting his lip, his brow gathered sweat in worry. Skipping through the A’s, B’s, C’s, and so on until he stopped at the G’s.

“Fuck.” Lafayette murmured, because smack dab in front of him stood the name  _ That  _ name.

**George King- Missed call- 1**

*

*

“Fuck I forgot my purse.” Maria whined, as she sat in the back of Lee’s truck.

“Oh would you shut it already? King’s gonna give you enough money to buy like, 50 new purses. Fucking relax, would ya?” James snapped as he took a swig of beer. “Besides, s’not like you could go back to get it or anything’. That one Hercules dude sounded big.

“He was actually kinda nice.” Maria whispered to herself. Beside James sat Samuel Seabury, apparently the one who received information about Thomas Jefferson, and next to Sam lay an unconscious Alexander Hamilton. “Did we really need to tie him up like that?” She asked, cringing at the makeshift gag he wore in his mouth. “It’s not like anyone’s gonna hear him”

“Shut it, woman. Let that men do their business.” Reynolds sneered as the truck came to a stop. Light streamed the back as Lee unlocked the back doors and let them swing open.

“Alright, we got fifteen minutes before George is leaving to do the dirty work. You guys coming or what?” Maria rolled her eyes as she hopped out of the musty truck, everyone else following not far behind. 

*

“So, this whole thing is about your ex boyfriend?” Maria asked. George glared down at her, unamused.

“Oh please, like I give a shit about him anymore.” George snarled, leaving Maria confused. “He embarrassed me. Made me look like a fool. He stole from me. Acted as if he loved me, then goes off and fucks with some other man.” 

“Well, you weren’t exactly-”

“Shut it, whore. You know your place. If I were you, I’d stop talking and start helping me get this bitch out to the park.” James gave Maria a warning glare, before she nodded and joined the men in an attempt to get him into a bag. 

“You sure the French bitch is gonna know where to go?” Sam asked. 

****“Oh, trust me. He’ll know. Good dogs always come back to their owners.”** **


	27. That's when Miss Maria Reynolds walked into my Life Reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf and a woman come to a mutual understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slower (Once or twice a week) bc there only about three or four more chapter left !! 
> 
> I have so many new ideas for au's tho yALL DONT EVEN KNOWW

Maria stood to the side as James and Charles hurled a still unconscious Alex back into the truck they were just previously in. Her eyebrow raised when she caught sight of Sam getting rather touchy towards the sleeping man, but decided not to question it. George stalked up from behind her silently, flinching when he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Relax. It’s not you I’m after.” George said, smirking an evil grin. “I’ll have more than enough fun when I get my hands on my little-”

“C’mon, it’s gettin dark.” James warned, snapping George out of his sick fantasy. The latter nodded and instructed Sam to start the vehicle. Maria sighed, shaking her head. Playing with a lock of her short hair, she made her way to the back. There, George helped a struggling Lee up into the truck and went to close the doors.

“H-Hey!” Maria said, grabbing at the handle before it shut. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” King eyed her mischievously before pulling an eerie smile that caused Maria to shudder. 

“Sorry, but the truck’s full.” King sneered.

“Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?” She yanked the metal door open and proceeded to climb up before Lee was in front of her and shoving her down roughly.

“It means we. Don’t. Need. You.” The door shut and locked with a clang, the truck driving away before she could stand.

“H-hey! Wait!” She screamed, struggling to stand. The wind nipped at her body fiercely, like a warning. She ignored it instead, and sprinted down the abandoned streets following the vehicle. “What about my money! I need that money! Please! C-come back!” Maria felt herself begin to wheeze from the icy wind blowing into her face, but continued. Tears blurring her eyes, she didn’t notice the jagged road and instead twisted her ankle, her stumbling to the ground.

“Sh-shit…” She mumbled, breath raggedy and uneven. Lifting herself off the ground she felt a twang of pain shoot up her leg as she fell with a gasp. Her leg felt twisted and numb, knowing she wouldn’t be able to run anytime soon. 

“Fuck... “ Maria whispered, before standing up and limping her way back to George’s house.

*

*

“Just…  _ please  _ be careful.” Lafayette could hear the sympathy in Hercules’ voice. It broke his heart. 

“When did you say you were off work?” Laf asked as he weaved around town folk.

“I’d say an hour or two. Tell me where you are, yeah? I promise I’ll get you as soon as I’m done.”

“If you lose me, give a whistle.” Lafayette said as he rounded an all too familiar corner.

“A whistle?”

“Yeah. If at any time you can’t find me, give a loud whistle and I’ll whistle back.” Lafayette sped up again as he got closer to King’s house.

“Yeah… I don’t think I can whistle love.” Lafayette smiled slightly at the pet name and gave a small giggle despite the situation

“I-I… I love you…” Laf murmured quietly, internally panicking when the other end of the phone was silent.

“I love you too. Very much.” Hercules returned as Lafayette relaxed. The two said their goodbyes as Lafayette reluctantly hung up, leaving him in pure utter silence. Trees had grown rogue and stray branches scratched at unlucky cement buildings, the sound chilling Laf to the core. He jumped when he heard a twig snap from behind him, and immediately panicked, only to find out that it was a stray cat.

_ Why is this so difficult? _

It wasn’t like he had spent years in George’s home. Why was he so scared? He truly had become a coward after all this time. With a shaky breath he continued forward. 

John was so brave. Imagining what would’ve become of Laf if the freckled man hadn’t been there… well…

He’d rather not think about it. 

And, oh dear god, if Hercules hadn’t been there? Would he have already been dead?

…

...Would John still be alive?

Oh, John. Poor John… it was his fault. All his fault. He couldn’t even say sorry before the man up and vanished as quick as a gunshot. The way his eyes would glimmer at the accidental mention of Alexander, and the way he’d become noticeably hyper when he’d steal a sip of coffee from Alex or even Laf’s cups.

How frightened dear Alex must be. None of this was his fault. It didn’t even involve him, so why take it out on the innocent? Clearly, George is planning something,, but in all honesty Laf is too worried to care. Scheming something or not he knows he has to save his best friend. He’s lost one too many. No matter how grumpy he may act before coffee, whether he shut both Laf and Hercules out after … John…. And became distant enough for Lafayette to look through his room simply did not matter.  All he wanted was to finally put a stop to this mess.

And that’s exactly what he planned to do. He planned to fight until he couldn’t stand any longer. He’ll keep moving forward, vowing to never let any more of his friends get caught up in this shit. Even… even if it took giving himself away to George, he’ll do it. As long as he leaves the ones he cares about alone, he doesn’t truly care what happens to himself.

He’s given up along time ago. 

Unsurprisingly, his mind and thoughts had distracted him long enough to arrive to King’s house unharmed and unnoticed. The place seem abandoned. No noise, and no lights. The everlasting stench of budded joints and stale sex still covered the block, but further else there was nothing new. 

Lafayette willed his hand to quit shaking, but with no avail. Proceeding to open the door which opened with a loud creak. The frail man stepped inside, familiarity making his stomach queasy. 

It seemed like the place was.. Empty? Huh. His luck never lasted this long. First, Maria’s phone, then being able to get to Georges place without being harmed, and no-

**_*WHAM*_ **

Hard metal came in contact with his head, and soon the room began spinning. Legs weak he fell to the ground, cradling his bruise.

“A-ah…  _ merde,”  _ Lafayette groaned in pain, as a blurry figure dashed in front of him and grabbed his collar roughly. The sudden feel of being yanked up off the floor made him close to vomiting.

“Who are you? What the hell are you doing in this house?” A familiar voice snapped. Unable to comprehend the words, Laf garbled gibberish in an attempt to ask this mystery person to  _ please  _ stop raising their voice. The hand suddenly left, and in a panic felt himself begin to fall once more. 

Just as he was about to hit the ground, a hand was back at his collar, and he felt himself being lifted once more. The stranger dragged him backwards until his back came in contact with a soft material, most likely the side of a couch.

“S-sorry.. I… guess I got carried away.” Lafayette finally managed to get his eyes to focus, and there stood Maria. 

“M-Maria?” His hoarse voice made him cringe. “Oh.  _ Maria.”  _ The name felt like venom on his tongue. How dare she hit him with-

“You hit me with a fucking pan?” The Frenchman growled, making the woman cower slightly. 

“I-I know.. I just thought… I dunno…”  She mumbled as Laf finally pushed himself to his feet. He looked down, and for a second, he truly felt bad for her. 

“Where’s Alex?” Laf demanded rather than questioned. His worry increased when Maria shrugged. “You.. You don’t know? How don’t you know? You‘re the one who brought him here! You can’t just no-”

“Lafayette please, relax. Listen. I-I don’t know the exact location, but wherever they are it was saved in my phone… which I…. left at your house…” Maria looked down in shame, before Laf was basically chucking the phone into her arms.

“P-Please, please help me find him. I-I can’t lose someone else…” Laf whined, Maria nodding quickly before typing in the information. 

“Okay, okay Laf. Deep breaths, please just calm down.”  Maria placed an encouraging hand on the small of the shaken man’s back, rubbing in small circles. “We’ll get him back, don’t worry.” She tapped a few times on her phone, pulling up what Laf presumed was the address for wherever the hell they were taking Alex.

“Here, George the asshole sent me this in case there was a change of plans, even if he had been planning on not bringing me with them.” Maria muttered, handing Lafayette the phone with a sigh. “I-It’s not that I wanted to hurt Hamilton in any way. Trust me, I’m not that type of person… I just… I really needed the money. Rent’s expensive nowadays and… I don’t know… he was offering a lot of money….” 

In all honesty, Lafayette pitied the girl. He’d been where she was countless times, and he was somehow blessed to be given John, Alex and Herc. The poor woman was trying to make a living, whether she liked how she was doing it or not. 

“Personally, I didn’t know George. My uh, my… ex? I guess he’s my ex now… well he told me about what they were plotting. James told me that they had an entire plan for… for you, actually.” She ran a hand through her soft locks, looking down guiltily, “At first, I thought he was insane. I was ready to grab my things and bolt right then and there. But, then, he told me how much money I could fucking make.  That much cash woulda set me up for months. So… being the rather ignorant person I am, I accepted his offer. All I’m ever good for is sex to him, so why not use my what he calls ‘talent’” she used air quotes, “For another guy.” 

Stunned, the taller of the two stood motionless in front of the girl. Hearing her story…  _ understanding  _ her pain made the whole situation that much more vulnerable. With timid steps, he wrapped the broken girl in his arms, tears on the verge of falling.

“I-I… I never knew….” He mumbled into her shoulder. “We… That was exactly what it was like, Maria. G-george.. He….” Biting his lip in a feeble way to not break into sobs, Lafayette shook his head. She clearly understood, from the gasp that emitted from her mouth and the way she squeezed Laf closer. 

There seemed to be a mutual understanding between the two. A bond. Something Lafayette was grateful for. When he finally pulled back, both were glassy eyed and flustered. 

**“Now, let’s go get our Alex back.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pick between a; Beauty and the Beast au or a Modern Warfare au
> 
> Please refrain from using any ideas, I'm sorry but they are in fact an idea ive had for awhile and would rather not have ppl copying


	28. A pencil and eraser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we check in on everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALl this story is almost over like literally only about 3 chapters left hhhhngggggggggggggg
> 
> no but srly thank u all for ur support it means so much to me ??? 
> 
> I have so many fanfiction ideas holy shittttttttttttttttttttttttt
> 
> TWF: Death, violence

“Shut him up, would you?” George snapped, motioning for Lee to hurry up. Charles nodded, pulling the man by his feet across the ground. Samuel and James stayed in the truck, George stating the ‘fight’ was between him and Lafayette. 

Although he was annoying, George must admit this Alexander Hamilton did put up a fight. Even now, as he struggled in his bonds, he was cursing through the gag. His eyes were dangerous, not to mention the words coming from his mouth. Lee gave him a harsh kick to the side which thankfully shut him up for the time being. 

The woods were dead silent aside from the constant muffled grumbles emitting from Alex and the soft crunch of leaves beneath their feet. Birds flapped overhead, and sun shot through the branches. 

_ Yes. What a perfect day for someone to die.  _

And by that, George didn’t mean just Lafayette and his bratty friend here. No, he meant Lee and even the two who sat in the truck. There was no way he’d pay them that much money. 

The spot sat in the middle of the forest, all you’d have to do is walk a few paces forward and you’d find the strange clearing. Charles grunted behind him as Alexander’s feet were roughly shoved to the ground. Dirt littered his hair, face and clothes. The back of his shirt was torn up from jagged rocks that poked out the ground. 

“Alright set him right here.” George instructed, motioning by the center. Lee huffed, rolling his eyes and yanking at Alex’s tied legs, making him yelp. Smirking, George crouched by the hurt man’s head, laughing as he began to cry helplessly. “Awe, don’t cry baby boy. Look on the bright side! You’ll see John soon enough.” 

Alex’s eyes widened, strings of curses being thrown through the cloth in his mouth. King checked his watch, frowning, before pulling a gun from his back pocket. He tapped it, inspecting it, showing it off to Alexander, before placing a load of bullets into the cylinder. 

Shockingly, George stood to his full height, aiming the gun straight for… 

_ Oh. _

The next thing Alex knew, Charles was falling to the ground, blood pouring from the bullet wound. 

Cackling at his reaction, King tugged at the now trembling boy’s long hair. The gun’s barrel came in   contact with his temple, and his blood ran cold because  _ oh god this is where it all ends I’m going to die. _

The cold metal was suddenly gone as soon as it came, and he felt his eyes shut in relief, but chest tighten in anxiousness. 

George ripped the gag from his mouth, and immediately Alex began screaming, hoping someone would hear him. 

_ What he didn’t know was that that was exactly what George wanted.  _

_ * _

_ * _

The car pulled up to the edge of a forest. A familiar white van was parked visibly next to them, and Maria felt her blood boil. Fingers twitching, her eyes watered in anger. Sensing her tension, Lafayette placed a warm hand atop of her shaking one, instantly relaxing her. 

“Y-you’re sure you want to do this alone? I don’t think-”

“Non. I will not be the cause of another death of my friend. I must finish this, once and for all.” Lafayette growled, jumping out the car and striding through the trees. He spared a glance back to James’ car the the two had stolen,  and smiled to Maria. 

She instantly smiled back, watching as the man stepped through the trees and out of her sight. 

Now alone, Maria slumped slightly in the car seat. Thoughts flooded her mind, biting her lip nervously at the thought of what would emerge from the woods. The van that sat a little ways beside the car she had taken from James only made her more anxious. Her long nails scratched at her arm roughly as her breath quickened and chest pulled. 

The problem was, Lafayette didn’t have anything to truly aid him in his ‘fight’. All he had with him was…  _ nothing.  _ Panic arose from inside the woman as minutes ticked by. How would he fight back? Why didn’t she think to give him a kitchen knife or something? How could she be so stupid! So utterly irrespon-

“Open the fucking door!” She gasped and turned to her left. There stood James Reynolds, the devil himself. He was holding a baseball bat and a sour expression. Behind him was Samuel, George’s new bitch. Even he looked insane. James grabbed angrily at the car handles, tugging harshly back and screaming bloody murder. 

Maria, in a panic, jumped to the back seat, crawling onto the ground and curling in on herself. Distantly, she heard screaming, soon realizing it was in fact her who was yelling for help.

“O-oh… god…” She choked out, yelping when she heard glass shatter. Tiny shards of the window flew through the air, many landing on her bare arms and legs. Tears springing from the pain, her heart stopped at the sound of the car doors unlocking. 

“Now you’re fucking in for it, whore.” James spat, yanking her backwards by the hair. “How dare you! Disgusting bitch.” He sneered and ripped her from the car. Gripping the bat tightly, he aimed for her leg, but Maria dodged it in the knick of time. Wheezing for breath, she stumbled to her feet and attempted to escape. 

“H-help! Please!  _ Someone!”  _ Mascara lined beneath her face, tears burning her cheeks. Unfortunately, she didn’t get too far. Reynolds easily caught up and got a bruising hit straight on her spine. A scream ripped from her throat, and she fell to the ground. “S-stop…” She pleaded.

James stood above her, cocky grin and eyes manic. He brought one, two,  _ three  _ kicks into her stomach, while Sam caught up to the two and began tugging at her hair, ears, arms and fingers. Now a pile of whimpers, Maria squeezed her eyes shut and pretended to be anywhere but here. She imagined being back with her mom and dad, on vacation at the beach. 

Eating ice cream with Eliza and her sisters, or simply living a normal life. Reality shot back into her mind when her nose collided with James’ shoe. A deafening crack and rush of blood made her dizzy and begin to close her eyes. 

Distantly, she heard yells. A sound of alarm. Screams coming from behind her and the sound of wood on skin. The funny thing was, she felt no pain. Sam and James had been halted in their attack. With a trembling bleeding arm, she shifted herself to face the other way. Hissing in pain, she watched in shock and utter disbelief as…  _ oh.  _

The man who had talked to her at the park. Hercules Mulligan. He had shown her such kindness, and now he was brutally beating up two men who had tormented her throughout her years. Glancing down, she eyed the bruises and cuts that now littered her body. She cringed as she tried counting them, but gave up after 23. Her previous bruises and wounds had been fading, but were replaced with more than enough new ones. 

“Hey… you okay?” The man, Hercules Mulligan, looked at her worriedly. He was panting hard, out of breath with small bruises forming on his knuckles. Slowly, he crouched beside Maria, flinch going not unnoticed. “Sorry if I scared you…” He trailed off.

“N-no! Don’t be sorry! Y-you saved my life!” She smiled gratefully, accepting the hand the other man offered to her. “Thank you, so so much.” Maria said, wiping uselessly at her tears. Unable to walk without support, she leaned her weight into the broader man. Her eyes cast downwards in… shame? Guilt?  _ Relief.  _

“Now, I know you know who I am.” Hercules started. “And, I in fact know who you are. So I’ll start off simple. Where’s Laf and Alex?”

*

*

As soon as Lafayette stepped past the brush, all confidence drained from his body. His knees felt wobbly and his head felt as if he were being dragged underwater.

_ If only… _

Stopping in his tracks, he looked for any sign of Alex or George. Knowing the former, Laf knew Alex would have left some kind of sign. A hint maybe. So the first thing he did was look around. 

Sunlight speckled the ground, leaves scattered beneath his feet and rocks jabbing dangerously outwards from the ground. The sky was a magnificent blue, soft huddles of clouds floated through the tender sky. 

Nothing interesting. 

Looking back down, he shuffled through bushes and twigs. His eyes scanned the ground for…

_ There ! _

A deep indent in the soft mud and rocks created a bit of a pathway leading straight to lord know where. Crouching, Lafayette inspected one of the rocks that lay pointing sharply outwards. He plucked at it, eyeing it curiously and ripping it from the earth. Scraps of fabric stuck through the sharp end, and immediately he recognized it as the shirt Alex had worn two days prior.

Gasping and in a hurry, a newfound energy surged through him as his legs lead him through the trees. Oh god, please be okay, Alex,  _ please.  _ Kept replaying through his mind. Wind whistled through his ears and branches caught on his arms and clothing but truthfully he didn’t care. 

**_Please Alex, please be safe._ **


	29. I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It which the final act Is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOOOOOOOO
> 
> look !!! once more chapter left !!  
> aka the epilogue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> y'all this story was so fun to write??? like??? honestly??? I got so much support thank you all who stuck with me throughout the entirety of this fic !!!! You're all so sweet !!!!!!!!<3<3<3
> 
> SOOO anyway,,
> 
> imma finish my other two fics, then get started on an all new series !!1! it's a surprise tho ;)
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR READING ILYASM
> 
> -Hamm

The trail continued long enough for Lafayette to become deeply concerned for Alex’s back, since his shirt clearly had been torn and the rocks were anything but soft. He bit his lip in fear when specks of blood became visible on a few of them. Giving a shaky sigh, he continued forth, the quick walk escalating into a hurried jog. 

God, this was all his fault. If only he hadn’t stumbled into that god forsaken coffee shop, maybe this wouldn’t be happening. Poor Alex… poor John… 

If only he could turn back the time and restart from the very beginning. 

It was silly, actually. How George had went through so much trouble.  And for what? Satisfaction that he finally rid Laf of all happiness? The pleasure of watching his obey his every command in bed once more? It was truly disgusting. Laf huffed to himself, head shaking furiously causing a few curls to fall from his ponytail.

The trees surrounding him were quite a sight though. If he made it back alive, maybe he’d bring Hercules through this path. Just thinking about his boyfriend made his heart ache. It was a tough thought, the fact that he may never see him again. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the dark thoughts aside and continued forward, far too determined to give up now. 

There was a sound. I loud, blood chilling sound that made Lafayette’s heart sink.  _ A gunshot.  _ Birds flooded the sky just ahead of him, signaling their location. 

_ Oh god I’m too late… _

Biting his lip and forcing the tears down, he surged forward. A renewed vigor shot through him like a bullet and his long legs tore through the earth. 

Just as he felt hope slip from his slender fingers, another sound caught his attention.

Screams.

But not just any screams,  _ Alex’s  _ screams. Laf gave a soft sob and quickened his pace, ignoring how tired and worn out he was. It was when the trail became more jagged and less visible did he stop and glance around. An all too familiar voice snapped him out of his frantic search.

“Well, well, well. It’s nice to see you again, Gilbert. What is it, the third time you’ve come crawling back to me?” George cackled. Casting his gaze downwards, Laf felt his eyes widen as he noticed Lee’s motionless body and Alex’s frantic eyes. 

The Frenchman felt sweat collect above his brow, breath beginning to become uneven at the sight of his monster of an ex. There stood King, gun in hand, smirking like a madman. He and Laf’s legs moved in sync, as the two stalked around each other in a circle. 

The forest was silent, aside from the soft crunch of leaves beneath the duo’s feet and the little noises Alex occasionally made. It was when he was three feet away from Alexander did Lafayette break the eerie silence, bolting to the ground beside his best friend.

“O-oh my god, Alex. Je s-suis désolé, je suis désolé.” Laf murmured, unable to keep tears down. “I-I thought you were dead.” Trembling hands met the tied up man’s cold face, rubbing at his cheeks that felt like ice beneath Laf’s fingers. In all honesty, Alex looked positively dead. His eyes were blank, and his expression unreadable. Clearly, he was freezing. The cold ground and icy winds didn’t help, not to mention the fact the man most likely hadn’t eaten anything for awhile. 

“L-laf…” Alex whispered, voice hoarse from yelling himself raw. His eyes closed, and Lafayette panicked, giving a small yell. Immediately, Alex’s eyes shot open. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Just… resting.” He said. Gilbert relaxed, eyes trailing down the other’s body, searching for injuries or any possible wounds when he heard rapid footsteps. 

Turning to his right, he had almost forgot about George. That is, until the other knocked him to the ground and sat atop his body. Alex yelled, eyes widening as his struggles resumed. King scoffed and simply shoved Alex’s own shirt into his mouth. 

“Thought you could escape so easy, Laffy” George purred, running a calloused hand down the side of Lafayette’s face. His thumb stopped to probe at the other’s mouth, to which Laf growled and snapped at. Brows furrowing and expression turning dark, he gripped bruisingly at the pinned man’s cheeks. “Don’t be such a bitch, Gibby. You’re not in the position to play that shit right now.” In return, Laf simply attempted to throw the other off. 

“Non! Non, non, non, non, non! I will not,” Lafayette struggled beneath the smug man, “Give in to you! I am not your-”

“My what? My toy? My boyfriend? My little slut? Ha! You think you’re beneath me for  _ sex?  _ You think, after all this trouble, I’m just gonna fuck you like none of this ever happened?!”  George broke out into manic laughs, chilling both Alex and Lafayette to the core. King frowned suddenly and smacked Lafayette  _ hard  _ in the face. “Stupid. Fucking ignorant.  _ How dare you?  _ You lost your chance, Laffy. Could’ve just submit to me like a good whore, but  _ no!  _ You’re hero of a boyfriend had to butt in with my plans.”

George pulled out an object from behind him. Laf didn’t have to look to know what it was. A shiny, new pistol lay heavy in King’s hand. Said man ran a finger along the side of it, smirking as Lafayette’s eyes widened and his body shook. 

“Oh, look at you.” George purred, bringing his hand back up to the other’s face. “So pretty. You were always so beautiful when you got scared. Only made the sex more erotic.” He hissed. The gun came down eye level with his face. Up close, Laf could see every detail. Every divot and every mark the metal object had. 

“Y-you’re insane!” Lafayette snapped, but was quickly hushed when the barrell shoved into his mouth and threatened to enter his throat. Tears fell freely from his eyes, and Alex’s muffled yells and whimpers only edged him further. 

Lafayette watched in pure terror as George’s finger slowly moved, index beginning to push at the trigger and  _ oh god he couldn’t watch.  _ Lafayette squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed around the intruding object and-

**_Click_ **

….

……………

……..

……………………

...

“HAHAHA! The look on your face!” George cackled, pulling the gun from Gilbert’s mouth and smiling to Laf’s horror. “You really think, I’d kill you just like that?! Of course not! Who do you think I am?!” Lafayette stayed silent, terror filled eyes searching the man above him. “Aww, don’t look at me like that, baby. How could you think so low of me?” 

Lafayette stared silently at the man above him. Clearly, George didn’t enjoy the silence, and roughly shoved the side of Laf’s face to the ground with his hand. He held it there, as he pulled a pocket knife from his pocket and threateningly trailed it along Laf’s neck. 

“Oh, how I miss you beneath me~” He said. The cold blade just above his collarbone, King dug into the soft scarred skin there, and watched in fascination as Laf’s skin broke and the man beneath him gave a soft cry. He dragged the knife along his skin, watching closely as blood seeped down and stained his shirt. 

Ripping off Lafayette’s top layer of clothing, he continued his ministrations. The knife carved deep cuts into his arms, stomach and chest. Thumbing at the blood, he lifted a covered digit and sucked at it.  _ Tasted  _ it. 

Lafayette felt like he could vomit.

“Delicious.” He purred, smiling as Gilbert’s struggles weakened and soon stopped, most likely from blood loss. It was when Laf’s eyes closed in defeat did George frown. “I’m not finished yet.” He snapped, ripping the Frenchman’s head from the ground by his curly hair. He dropped it, causing Laf to wail and tremble once more. King smirked at the reaction, lifting a fist and bringing it down into the other’s face.

“This is for everything you’ve put me through. You little shit, how dare you embarrass me like this!” He screamed, throwing punches into the motionless man’s jaw. When there was no reaction, George’s eyes narrowed. “Wake up.” He ordered. He was met with silence. When nothing further happened, his anger boiled. “I said wake up!” Lafayette still lay motionless, the only sign of life being the light rise anf all of his chest. “Ugh, whatever.” He hissed, jumping off the wounded man and moving on the the shorter, more alive one.

Alex screamed, but was muffled by George’s hand clamped over his mouth. 

“One more noise and I’ll shoot yer friend.” He snapped, silencing the other efficiently. Smiling broadly, he took the same position as before, sitting atop Alex’s chest, even if he was already restrained.

Below him, Alex sobbed. Harsh coughs ripped from his throat, and small shivers ran up his spine.  _ This was it. This was the end.  _ He stared to the side, refusing to acknowledge George and his words. 

_ At least I’ll be with John. _

George’s eyes filled with fascination. There lay the once most alive and determined person he’s ever met, now dead from hopelessness.  _ How perfect. _

King laughed.  _ He laughed  _ at how impossibly stupid Alex was. How weak Lafayette was. How foolish Hercules was. How easy it was to eliminate John.

How perfect this day has gone.

Eyes blown from excitement, his hand reached behind him to pull out his gun, to finally finish this useless man, when he realized he had left it beside the ‘sleeping’ Frenchman. He grumbled to himself, annoyed that his intentions had been halted by such a stupid thing.

He turned, not before giving Alex a hard punch to the jaw to make sure he’d be obedient and stay still. George turned to face the other way, expecting his pet to still be lying there.

Boy, was he wrong. 

Instead, he was met face to face with the barrel of his gun. Shiny luster and cold metal flush against his forehead. He swallowed, muscles tense. 

“Oh, L-Laffy, don’t be like-”

“ _ This. This is for everything. For ruining my life. For taking away my best friend. For bringing everyone I loved into your disgusting and pathetic life. For hurting me. For everyone you have patronized and harmed in any way. How dare you set foot on this land?! You aren’t even human enough to be called a monster. You’re so twisted in the brain you don’t even realize how fucking insane you are. I hate you.” _

“How dare you, Lafayette?! How dare you point a gun at me! You twisted shit, you little-”

_ Burn in hell.”  _ Lafayette growled, before pulling the trigger, and watching as George’s body fell to the ground, laying silently as a puddle of blood gathered beneath him.

  
Alex lay motionless. His eyes were wide in… horror? Shock? Relief? He wasn’t sure. But what he was sure of, was the fact Lafayette was falling to the ground, blood still seeping from his wounds, and body shivering from the cold. 

*   
*

Hercules felt his heart race faster and faster, breath picking up and legs giving out as he sprinted through the woods and dodged around trees.  _ Please be okay please be okay please be okay,  _ played on repeat through his mind.

It was when he was  _ so close  _ to Lafayette. When he felt like he actually pulled this shit off, did he hear it.

Clear as day, a loud gunshot fired through the air, ringing in his ears.  _ He could practically feel Lafayette’s body falling to the ground. _ And was then met with silence.

“N-no…” He whispered, tears falling from his face. His hands gripped at the side of his head, pulling lightly at his hair.Herc’s knees gave out, dropping to the ground, and clawing hard at the damp leaves. “No, no, no, no  _ no.”  _ This was all his fault. If… if only… if only he was just a little earlier. A little faster. “L-Laf… G-gilbert… I’m so sorry…”

In a final attempt, something to seal the fate of his love, he brought shaky fingers to his mouth. 

Carefully, his breath ghosted out of his mouth, and the most perfect, and first real whistle he had ever emitted, resonated through the air, bouncing off of trees and travelling through the woods. What he had expected, was silence. For no one to respond, or at least know how to respond.

**What he didn’t expect, was a clear loud whistle to be returned back. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone! Epilogue will be out soon!


	30. Denial-Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!! Final chapter !!
> 
> Thank you all so so so much for reading !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Shout out to everyone who stuck with me throughout this story!
> 
> This isn't my favorite chapter.... but honestly I tried my best and please know I appreciate comments/kudos !!!!!!!!!
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING !

**_Three years later_ **

Life was… unpredictable. Sometimes, things go as badly as expected. Other times, things are so out of order and screwed up that you can practically feel your body deteriorating and your brain turning into pudding. 

But on occasions, there were moments that felt  _ so right. _ Moments that made people feel as if they were floating. Not a care in the world. As if you were unstoppable. 

And right now? As Lafayette sits quietly on the hill, staring across the horizon? God… 

Things  _ felt _ perfect. 

Of course, that wasn’t necessarily true. After all that shit happened, there are still memories. There will always be images of how utterly terrified Hercules was when he caught sight of both Lafayette and Alex after George had been shot. The sound of the latter choking on his own blood, sputtering inaudible curses and unfulfilled promises. There will forever be scars, traced out across his skin. Reminding him of when things were  _ so bad.  _ So, so bad.

But right now, Lafayette didn’t want to think about the low times, and instead denied the fact that any of that ever happened. Times where he was teetering between life and death. No, instead he’d much rather focus of the soft lapping of waves as they sloshed against the sandy shore. The salty gust of air that filled his lungs, and the speckles of sand and shells that decorated his curls. 

Yes, this was definitely better than thinking about George. 

Taking a deep drag of his cigarette, he closed his eyes and lost himself in the noise. In the breeze. In the grass and the occasional push of wind against his face. The sound of gulls flapping their wings, to the feel of finally being grounded.

Much, much better. 

The triad ended up moving south, closer to the beach, but not that far away from their friends and family. Of course, this happened because Lafayette felt that a change of scenery was necessary, but both Alex and Herc felt like Laf wasn’t telling them the full story. Alexander ended up taking a liking to law and Literature, and soon invested time and money into the subject

Mr. Washington had recommended him to law school, and immediately Alex found himself diving into textbooks and databases. 

Hercules had gotten a job at the local cafe that was only two blocks from the triad’s shared home. A cozy shop, ran by a woman with the name of Martha Manning. Apparently, she knew John from middle school, and hired Hercules in a flash. 

  
She had offered a job to Lafayette, the he politely declined the offer, denying that it had anything to do with the fact Martha used to know John. No, instead, Lafayette found himself taking a liking to painting. It was a skill John had once carried. Endlessly he sketched turtles and marine life. Even a few portraits of the four of them. And sometimes a thought that maybe if John had survived, the four of them could migrate down to the beach and paint the waves. All John ever wanted to do was see the waves and pick the flowers. 

Time went all too quickly. 

Exhaling, Lafayette watched as smoke curled up, being throw away from the pull of wind, and traveled through the air. Gilbert laid his back against the plush grass, eyes half lidded from exhaustion. Dandelions floated through the breeze, and the distant sound of splashing and laughter filled his ears. Below, children ran through the warm sand, even if it was rather late to be out. The sun was setting, and the clouds hung dangerously low. 

He took another drag from his cigarette.

*

The water was cold against his bare feet, as Laf walked deeper and deeper into the ocean. The water, now up to his legs, pushed and threatened to knock him off balance. Vicious and unrelenting, the pressure increased quickly.

And yet, Lafayette couldn’t seem to turn back. Couldn’t feel the need to begin running away as a wave grew just a few feet away from him. Didn’t turn and run as lifeguards’ whistles rang through the air, causing his head to spin. Clutching his ears, he continued forth.

The water rose. As well as the wave. He stared forward, stomach drenched and skin stinging from the salt. Sharp shells dug into the delicate soles of his feet, but even then he didn’t turn from the water.

The wave rushed towards him, faster and faster, larger and larger. He felt hot tears against his cheeks and the pull of water rushing against the back of his legs from the ever growing wall of water that was  _ so close. _

It was until he heard the panicked shout of Hercules did he snap out of his trance, and realize just where he was and what he was doing. 

Unfortunately, he was jolted back into reality a second too late, and felt the force of freezing water and sand rush against his body, pulling his beneath the water and filling his lungs.

*

*

….

………….

….

………….

“Hello?” _His voice sounded different._ _Everything was white. Pure nothingness, head was filled with cotton, thoughts screwed up and scattered._

_ “ _ Hey Laf.”  _ A familiar voice. Soft, but sour. Hoarse, in fact.  _ “S’ been awhile, hasn’t it.”

“John…”  _ He whispered. Eyes searching, hand frantically trying to feel around him, find his way out of the terrifying blank feeling of nothing. Crying out, his head searched desperately. All he saw was white. _

“Hey, ya gotta relax if you want to see anything.”  _ Relax? He could relax. Lafayette was good at relaxing. Wasn’t he? He couldn’t really remember… “ _ You can’t relax if you’re thoughts are going a mile a minute, Laffy.” 

_ Laffy? Huh… he sort of remembers that nickname. Does he? He thinks he does… _

“C’mon Laf, you’re not gonna get anywhere if you’re panicking like this.”  _ Panicking? He’s not panicking… _

_ He is, isn’t he.  _

“Sorry…”  _ Sorry? Really? That’s the best answer you go- _

“-af!”  _ Eyes. There were eyes. He knew those eyes. DIdn’t he? The amber eyes with flecks of deep brown. Heh, they looked like freckles. Matched John’s face- _

“J- _ John!”  _ There was some sort of hiccup in Lafayette’s chest, and suddenly he could see. There stood John, face close to his. John’s hands were placed delicately on Laf’s shoulders, keeping him grounded and helping him see, before the latter pulled the former into a tight hug. “M-merde, I missed you _ so much. _ ” 

“Missed you too, Laffy.” John murmured softly, sadness etched in his words. Pulling back, Lafayette wore a concerned expression, search his friends face.

“Are you alright?” Laf asked, hands going to the freckled cheeks of the other. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” John assured. “But, uh, you shouldn’t be here.”  _ What? Why not? _

“Quoi? What do you mean? Where…” Lafayette looked around, eyes seeing nothing but white. “Where are we?” Glancing back down at John, Gilbert finally took notice to the other’s hair. Flowers were embedded and scattered throughout his soft locks, glassy eyes slightly paler than when he was alive.

“That’s… not important right now. What is important, is that you need to go back.” John said. He continued when Laf gave him a quizzical look. “Back to your mortal body. Clearly, you’re not ready for this place. I’m… not sure why you decided to drown yourself, but what I do know is that you have to go back.”

“Go back? Why? I-I want to stay! With you!”

“No, Lafayette. You can’t. You can’t stay here. You’re not…  _ ready.” _

Gilbert was silent. After all, what else was he supposed to say? It was all a mistake. His choice was a mistake. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but something was pulling him under…

Under the water…

“Listen to me.” John started. “You gotta know, that no matter what, nothing was your fault. Everything that’s happened? It wasn’t your fault.    
I know what you do, Lafayette. I’ve watched you carve things into your arms. Watched you cry yourself to sleep because you feel as if you’ve failed everyone, like you were supposed to die, rather than George. Don’t lie to me. I know. Don’t tell me you didn’t mean to walk into the ocean. Don’t even try to tell me you’re fine, and that you don’t feel these things. Because  _ I know  _ it’s not true. I’ve watched you, for the past few years now, drug yourself to sleep. I’ve seen you begin smoking, hiding from your friends just to take one last swig of alcohol. Laf, I watched you  _ attempt suicide not even five minutes ago.  _ None of this,” John gestured around the two of them, “Is something you want to deal with right now. 

So, please, I know this was short, and I know you want to stay and that things seem so confusing right now. I know the real reason you moved. I know that you feel that you can’t set a foot in your hometown, because you feel as if you’ll start running straight back to George’s house. The true reason you declined Martha’s offer to work at the cafe? Is because you think she hates you for what you  _ did not  _ do. 

I  _ know  _ you’re in denial. You deny the truth. You deny the real reason to paint and sketch. You deny such obvious things, and yet you expect people to trust you. Laf, I know you better than that. So-” John was cut off from a sob escaping Lafayette’s lips.  _ John was right. He was in denial. _

_ All of those reasons… they were true. And the truth hurt.  _

“I’m sorry…” Lafayette whispered, getting one last glance at John. His best friend. His  _ first  _ friend, before he felt the familiar pull of water, throwing him carelessly and back into reality.

*

“He’s stable.” A nurse informed Hercules and Alex, causing both to break into relieved sobs. Silently, the nurse motioned for the two to follow her down the hallway and into the room Lafayette occupied.

  
The sight truly hurt Herc’s heart. There sat the man he loved so dearly, once more tattered and broken. Apparently, Gil’s head had banged roughly against a rock due to the rolling of the waves and the force of water. To think, he was that close to losing him once more. 

Alex held Lafayette’s hand, while Hercules combed his fingers through Laf’s matted and sand covered hair. His eyes fluttered beneath the lids, and a few times it seemed like he was going to wake up. 

He didn’t. Not for awhile, at least.

It took about three days until dark eyes were freed from their prison, and immediately Lafayette started screaming. 

But that was okay. Because both Alex and Hercules managed to relax him, and slowly, Gilbert returned to his normal self. Returned to the man that was there before he was on the brink of death. Before John died, and before their lives had gone to hell. 

Before Lafayette had gone into denial, and before he was telling himself things were okay, and that he’d be alright if he kept ignoring the problem. 

The next week, when Hercules asked Lafayette the real reason they decided to move, Laf didn’t deny the truth. Didn’t pretend that he wanted a ‘change of scenery’.

Instead, he looked Herc straight in the eyes, and told him. Told him everything. Not just the fact that he felt as if he’d throw up if he even went near their old home, but he told Hercules why he decided to take up smoking. Why sometimes he couldn’t sleep in the same bed as Herc. It seemed like once Laf started, he couldn’t stop. 

And he didn’t. He let everything out, and by the end of it, he was crying hysterically.

“I-I just wanted to be with John again…” Gilbert choked out, body trembling in his boyfriends’ arms. Hercules stroked the back of Laf’s head soothingly, cooing him and reassuring him softly. “I’m sorry…” Gil hiccuped.

“Shhh… it’s okay, Laf. It’s alright. Relax, love.” Herc whispered. “I’m… I’m glad you opened up to me,

****_And stopped denying the truth.”_** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are truly appreciated !!
> 
> Also,, thank you all again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Bother me on my tumblr; @ham-is-gr8


End file.
